Nothing can console us when we lose a beloved person and no one should try. We have to simply bear and survive it. That sounds hard but is in fact a great consolation: When the hole remains unfilled, we remain connected through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the gap, because he keeps it empty and so helps us to sustain our old communion, even through pain.
The more beautiful and fulfilling our memories, the harder the separation. But gratefulness transforms the agony of memory into a quiet joy. We should avoid burrowing in our memories, just as we do not look at a precious gift continuously. Rather, we should save them for special hours, like a hidden treasure of which we are certain. Then a pervading joy and strength will flow from the past.
Translation into English by Karin Murad
A powerful essayette from Ross Gay’s The Book of Delights.
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