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Gratefulness
The first of a five-day exploration of belonging, generosity, creativity, non-violence and courage through a Pledge for Grateful Living, crafted by Br. David Steindl-Rast. Welcome to the first day of our Thanksgiving practice. Let’s begin. Please close your eyes while you take a few slow, deep breaths. Then open your eyes and read today’s commitment...
In thanksgiving for life, I pledge to overcome the illusion of ENTITLEMENT by reminding myself that everything is gift and, thus, to live GRATEFULLY.
Let these words settle into your whole being. When you feel complete with your meditation on the pledge, deepen your exploration with the following reflections and practice suggestions.
Should you be inspired, please leave a reflection below…
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How perfect is it that this is a repeat from day one. I don’t know if that was intended… But I do know that as the day changed so did the relevance of entitlement. Yesterday was the first thanksgiving that I have ever had without family. Due to the lost of parents, births and even adoptions. Instead… We went to a friends house to celebrate the day. Everyone brought something and the food was delicious and we were touched to be invited. My kids (20 and 17) made it very obvious they didn’t want to be there. Although we went to bed with full bellies, I was filled with sadness and frustration wishing my kids would have cooperated, smiled, chatted, or even helped. At the very least not create resistance. I woke with the same heavy heart and reluctantly opened my email knowing I would most likely have to give up the story that I created that was fueling my anger. Grrrrr entitlement…again…and then a call to deepen…as I let it deepen the tears started as a mirror appears showing me my role in the day. And how my inability to let things just happen naturally stole some of the joy out of the air. I watched as my kids felt out of place and over dressed for a feast that is usually more casual and filled with laughter. I chose to critique their dress and their manners which now in hindsight… Just feels icky and out of touch with the meaning of the holiday. I watched they they too were sad to be at a table without their grandparents and cousins. Story changed anger replaced with tears…mrrrr
We may say a prayer each time the day begins to offer gratitude for life.
When we feel these gifts rather then entitlement we do not leave door open for negative experiences.
I am slowly realizing these days that I want to leave the door open for all experiences, and the teachings they bring me. Last summer I fell in love with a wonderful woman, our dates seemed like heaven. Over Christmas we spend much time together and I found myself becoming more and more uncertain, closing myself off and withdrawing into myself in the process. It was very painful for both my sweetheart and for me, and yes, my cramp-like fear was probably rooted in entitlement. Yet now, I have a strange sense of peace with all that happened, I am feeling some very old pain which might just help me heal. In staying with the pain I stumbled upon this community and these ideas of gratitude, and I am realizing through my tears that all this heartbreak might just be an opportunity to find more peace….
a blade of grass, reality’s rapier
Sleep came to me 4 times this morn’, even though torture awakened me after a short time, betwixt. A blessing compared to days before. Severely psychically attacked while my soul stood strong. There but for Thee’s grace go I.
Non-humancentricity, how to be, All life are threads in life’s fabric, That cannot be torn asunder, Walking nature’s balance, Giving back to it’s abundance, Is not only sage advise, It’s required for earthly life.
Dougie Mclean: ‘ready for the storm’: Lyrics:
“Oh, the waves crash in and the tide pulls out It’s an angry sea but there is no doubt That the lighthouse will keep shining out To warn the lonely sailor.
The lightning strikes and the wind cuts cold Through the sailor’s bones, through the sailor’s soul ‘Till there’s nothing left that he can hold, Except the roaring ocean.
And I am ready for the storm, yes oh ready, I’m I’m ready for the storm, I’m ready for the storm.
And don’t give me mercy for my dreams, ’cause every confrontation Seems to tell me what it really means to be this lonely sailor.
And when you take me by your side, you love me warm, you love me And I should’ve realized, I had no reasons to be frightened.
And I am ready for the storm, yes oh ready, I’m I’am ready for the storm, I’m ready for the storm.
Ah oh distance it is no real friend, and time will take it’s time And you will find that in the end it brings you near the lonely sailor.
And when the sky begins to clear, and the sun it melts away my fear I’ll cry a silent, weary tear for those that need to love me.
But I am ready for the storm, yes oh ready I’m I’am ready for the storm, yes already I’m I’am ready for the storm, I’m ready for the storm.”
Dougie MacLean’s ‘Ready for the storm’ (Kathy Mattea does a superlative version too) 🙂
🙂 reality
Final version of the above Thanx/Mourning Day twig of poetree 🙂
My father a tank, a beat down for hours, I 1 3/4, wasn’t speaking yet, wouldn’t ’til 3, he wouldn’t stop knocking me out, each time I’d awake, immediately stand, never cry a tear, I knew better and something’s very wrong with him. I couldn’t hate then and would never.
Non-humancentricity, how to be, all life are needed threads in life’s fabric, that cannot be allowed to be torn asunder, walking within nature’s balance, giving back to it’s abundance, is not only sage advise, it’s required for earthly life.
Reading this and letting the words sink in..I feel an enormous weight taken off my shoulders. I am no longer in charge. Knowing that everything is gifted, the good as well as the bad, I can appreciate and be grateful for every moment. A wonderful way to prepare for Thanksgiving ❤️
For me expectations too easily lead to resentment which in turn lends itself to anger quite quickly.
The practice of awareness and learning to embrace and a new practice begins, many many opportunities along the way which could be overwhelming, in everything and everyone is a mirror of where I am a reflection where I need to stop, stay present and become still, it needs attention, learning, knowing and understanding and experiencing better…closer to the Source where is unconditional love. This moment brings me to a deeper level of consciousness, the transition is where I struggle at first but then overcome with gratefulness. To surrender and practice to be in the moment, the place where being grateful is complete is full, where I need to be, the experience is just priceless. Thank you Brother David for this practice that I need and will persevere. All to glorify God!
Since God is All in All everything is equal in gratitude all gift
I would like to believe that I am aware and grateful for the blessings of each day….but I find myself taking simple pleasures for granted. Heat and hot water for bathing, fresh water to drink from the tap, electricity, a refrigerator and pantry that contains food, a flushing toilet…..these are things that far too many people don’t have. Another evidence of this in my life, that has been shown to me recently, is that I am desirous of attention, applause, approval, and expressed (gushing?) gratitude from others. I have begun to question my motives when I am giving, serving or opening my heart and home to others. This awareness was painful for me to face…I can see clearly that I was feeling “entitled” to admiration for my good deeds. I’m grateful for this awareness of how I may not have overcome the illusion of entitlement.
Thank you so much for sharing!!
Can I let my illusion of entitlement to good things and avoidance of hardship go, so as to see the gift in all things? Seeing the gifts in suffering is the true test.
And, this entitlement has a way of sneaking into our relationships as well. We think that we are entitled to have someone else behave in ways that we think they should, and if they don’t we end up in a snit! Let’s be grateful for the “misbehavior” of others so that we can heal the beliefs that keep us thinking that we are separate from each other, and that our brothers and sisters do not deserve the best of us! When we overcome these erroneous beliefs, then we know that we are loving ourselves first by giving up judgments, opinions, and interpretations, and this is true spirituality. And then the second step is loving ourselves as part of the perfect unfolding when we forget the first step. (and thank you for giving me a venue to share this, so that I can further teach myself this very important truth!) Much love, Isadora
So true!! Thank you for sharing!!
I often like to reflect on some of the simplest things I am grateful for while out walking. A friend who also practices grateful reflection as a daily practice gave me the great suggestion to literally go through the alphabet in my mind! For example: I am grateful for the Autumn leaves I see on this walk… I am grateful for the delicious gluten-free Bread I found at the store yesterday.. I am grateful for the cheerful yellow Carnations I treated myself to… You get the idea!
“You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.” Abraham Lincoln
Thank you for this important reminder. Realizing those moments of entitlement and then changing them to being grateful is a wonderful reframe and a deliberate choice.
Entitlement is such a sneaky little bugger, masquerading as fulfillment, maybe even at first gratitude…but blossoming into a fullness that excludes others and fills one with a false sense of rising above. Like a helium balloon it is filled with something that cannot be sustained except by filling it with more…and the sinking feeling of losing air can make one feel so hopeless. But surprise! It is not the self being lost! Only the ego’s sad surrender to the truth: that we are each the same, one no different from the rest.
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