Whose enduring love do I carry with me?

Mica – thanks for the reply and I know no other way to do it, thanks to my father, and I do in fact recognize her important role in their lives. And should they say something unkind and judge mental about her, I quickly remind them of her value and leave her shortcomings for them to uncover. It’s a crazy dialectic – Each time I support her, my heart and soul see’s it as an opportunity to provide them with stability and love in the face of insecurity and uncertainty. That said, on the inside, my ego views it as a way to accumulate points, while possessing the knowledge they will favor me over her when they mature and look back on these times through a different lens. This knowledge burdens me and when the door is closed behind me, I try not to relish in the moments and feel sad for them – that they won’t view both their parents in the same light. I wish their mother would do the same but she cannot control herself and I cannot control her, just like my father couldn’t control my mother. And I communicate that to her in a kind and loving manner when appropriate but despite her knowing my story, she repeats the sins of my mother. I think they both suffer from Narcissism. They both despise each other but if their names were not associated with their behaviors, one wouldn’t be able to tell the two people apart. Thanks to my path, I take solace in the knowledge that my children will undoubtedly recognize what I did later in life, that both of my parents did the best they could with what they had. And I know they wont have to wait as long as I did to heal their resentments towards their mother, or me for that matter. Thank you for the opportunity to share.