What stories make up my identity? How might I be limiting myself with these stories?

I very consciously decided a very long time ago that I was not a survivor. My thinking was I didn’t want to be defined in relation to anything awful that I experienced. “Survivor” is in relation to some negative event(s). Instead, I want to think of myself in relation to the choices I have made, particularly the conscious choices, and the values I hold, the skills and abilities I have, the things I do now. I think letting go of the negative stories helped me tremendously to move beyond where they have much power over me.

That said, it isn’t mentally healthy to erase memories. It is a fine line to remember, and not create a drama. And on rare occasion, things come up. I usually only share parts as a story when it can help someone to share, usually someone going through their own trials. And sometimes I am sensitive to certain things, so it is good for me to acknowledge and “forgive” myself for being sensitive with the understanding it comes from a highly charged experience in my past.

Am I limited by these stories? I do lack confidence, more than people around me can see. I think I would be doing more if I had the confidence. There are situations or words said that can trigger intense fear, which I manage, but it still affects me. I have a tendency to be hard on myself, too… trying to push beyond these felt limitations. So I would say yes, that even though the stories don’t play like a tape and it is rare I even think of them, that even though I try to live my life acting instead of reacting, yes, I have limitations. Can I rework the stories so I don’t have limitations? I would like to. It feels like trying to find a door in darkness. I don’t know this territory yet, as it would take me where I have not gone before. I would love to hear people’s thoughts on this if anyone can shed some light. Thank you.