What, or who, has sustained me during times when I felt hopeless?

Thanks to all of you for these remarkable, uplifting, inspiring posts. They give me strength and hope as I face another day. I, too, have been to the bottom of the abyss and not able to make any “sense’ of my life and how I handled some difficulties which presented themselves a few years ago (still ongoing, although getting better). Not feeling alone, as I read what you write, is a huge help. I’m trying to find a way to forgive myself for my cowardice in the face of challenges–a surrender of my own personal power which makes me wonder how self-destructive I may have been. And yet I persevere. The strangest thing of all is that the creature who opens my heart and makes me feel safe is a neighbor’s cat that lives mostly in my home. He reminds me that I can be kind and not always on edge, depressed, (and even engaging in suicidal ideation) around the person who is most challenging in my life.