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Daily Question, August 12

What memories sustain me?

  • KC

    Thank you for this thoughtful question, and reflections.

    Since my mom’s passing, and most of our family elders, I have fallen into an unhealthy pattern of not drawing on happy and healthy memories. I will aim to look at old photos to reconnect with the people who have cared about and loved me, and me them, to create gratitude practices and rituals.

  • Dusty Su
    I love the "On this Day" Facebook app. My daily memories appear correlated on a feed from eleven years back. I see patterns, mindsets, memories, and messages that speak to me in wise ways. At times they are so profound, I feel as if something/one with way more significant knowledge or foresight than me guided me to send them deliberately into the future to serve, guide, warn, and bless me. I've learned from these daily updates that I get to create future resilience and helpful tools by documenti...

    I love the “On this Day” Facebook app. My daily memories appear correlated on a feed from eleven years back. I see patterns, mindsets, memories, and messages that speak to me in wise ways. At times they are so profound, I feel as if something/one with way more significant knowledge or foresight than me guided me to send them deliberately into the future to serve, guide, warn, and bless me. I’ve learned from these daily updates that I get to create future resilience and helpful tools by documenting positive, uplifting, even challenging experiences, and reflections.

    People often ask me how to build a right end of life and death–I am a Deathwalker. I advise them to create go-to mindsets and positive habits based on kindness and integrity into their lives daily NOW. If we are going to be programmed, and we indeed are, why not program ourselves well? If our hardwiring stands the tests of a lifetime, death can be simply one more version (albeit possibly a tad more challenging) of the many days already lived.

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  • Don Jones
    This is tricky. At the spiritual level, I can't say for sure that memories sustain me at all - other than remembering to do my daily practice. In fact, at this level, I can't even be sure that my memories are real. At the level of body, I know there is memory in my cells of my ancestors and health. At the level of my mind, they are sweet fragrances that drift in from time to time. I just need to be careful I don't linger there too long. So, apart from at the level of body, I can't be sure ...

    This is tricky. At the spiritual level, I can’t say for sure that memories sustain me at all – other than remembering to do my daily practice. In fact, at this level, I can’t even be sure that my memories are real. At the level of body, I know there is memory in my cells of my ancestors and health. At the level of my mind, they are sweet fragrances that drift in from time to time. I just need to be careful I don’t linger there too long. So, apart from at the level of body, I can’t be sure that memories do sustain me at all.

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  • Hot Sauce

    Growing up in a very traditional Christian church that didn’t allow a lot of questioning, remembering the times when I first started to question their dogmas sustains me by reminding me how far I’ve come since, the new discoveries I made, how much there is to learn when we transcend traditionalism, and how much more I still have to learn about the world.

  • Debra

    Memories of a loving marital relationship. I stay as much in the present moment, but I have to admit I miss intimacy and I wonder now that my husband has been gone two years, if I will ever have a fulfilling loving relationship again. Life is too short to live in the past.

    • Dusty Su
      This is the struggle, the wonderful memories, and then getting on with life in a constructive way. Loss is hard to go through, live with, incorporate into new realities. Bless you, Debra, you are courageous. Each time I become engulfed in thoughts of what was, especially around the people I have deeply loved, I try to offer thanks for the fact that it was, and I was blessed to have the time and experiences I did. I go to that practice grumbling and in great pain more often than not. I remind m...

      This is the struggle, the wonderful memories, and then getting on with life in a constructive way. Loss is hard to go through, live with, incorporate into new realities. Bless you, Debra, you are courageous.

      Each time I become engulfed in thoughts of what was, especially around the people I have deeply loved, I try to offer thanks for the fact that it was, and I was blessed to have the time and experiences I did. I go to that practice grumbling and in great pain more often than not. I remind myself that the fact it is so painful clearly demonstrates the depth of love shared and felt. I fight to look ahead with hope. When that is hard, all I can muster is that there may be possibilities of good things to come rather than certainties, and somehow that is enough until I can take it a step further. What are your go-to mindsets and tools? You seem practical, positive, and as mentioned earlier, courageous. I gather this by your resolute “life is too short to live in the past” statement.

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      • Debra

        It took me quite awhile to move from grief to gratitude. I wish I was more practical really. I am actually quite a romantic. My practice is to put out my relational intentions to the Universe. I feel strongly that my message has been received and so I remain positive. I get a good laugh occasionally that I love men too much not to have something wonderful ensue — one soulmate will be more than sufficient. Blessings to you.

        • Dusty Su

          Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. Beautifully said, and makes a lot of sense. Faith that we are heard and laughter help, don’t they? Bless

  • Zenith

    The memory of my father first and foremost and he passed fall of 1972. He was my cheerleader in life Then the memory of my mother who passed in 2011. She taught me so much in spite of her Dutch grumpiness. Then the legacy of my adopted mother, now elderly friend for her faithfulness to her faith. After that it would be my own silly accomplishments which have taught me what I am made of.

  • Papilio

    This question turned out to be a difficult one to answer for me. Not because I don’t have good memories in the past, but because many of my fond memories are not relevant to my current life, I don’t remember I was sustained by my memories in recent years. Maybe I’m still making memories for future use.

  • Linda

    The time President and Mrs. Obama were in the White House. I was so proud to be an American.

  • Michele

    There are many memories that sustain me … the birth of my children, my first kiss with a woman – coming out as a lesbian later in life, watching my mother go through palliative and hospice care, the unexpected breakup of my fiance, buying my first home. Living in the present is important and not living in the past and dwelling there keeps you moving on. It’s hard but makes you stronger.

  • Javier Visionquest

    That of falling head first into the deep end of the swimming pool at my grandfather’s house in Florida when I was about three or four years old. The terror of the bright sunny world I knew being replaced with the abrupt shocking chill and pressure of the water, the confusion and the sound and blurred chaos of bubbles surrounding me as I struggled to gain a foothold, nothing solid to support me, no sense of direction, no air.

    • Michele

      How terrifying. My one daughter had fallen into a pool but we were right there and grabbed her out quickly. This makes me want to ask her about her memory of it. I think she was like 2.

      • Javier Visionquest

        Same. My grand father had been watching and was right there to hoist me out by the ankle, gave me a couple quick shakes while still dangling upside down to drain the pool water out of my lungs. I think it was my first experience with altered states of consciousness. Maybe my first inkling that the universe wasn’t, exactly, as safe a place as my expectations up to then had lead me to believe.

  • Samuel

    …memories of my late wife…
    Thank God for photos!

  • Mark Featherstone

    Seeing my wife for the first time. Reaching up and experiencing something mystical in Yoga. These memories remind me of the wonder of it all. And looking out to sea and not seeing where the sea became sky.

  • Trish

    The concept of freedom is so important to me. In my pre-teens my family moved to Somalia, right on the Indian Ocean. Everyday I would walk or run over the most beautiful sand dune, which seemed to go on forever. The sand was hot & golden brown and I felt connected to it. It was just me & the sand & the sky and then the water. Simple freedom~ this sustains me.

    • Cathy

      Oh, Trish, that sounds exactly like the dream-vision I always have in the back of my mind!!

  • eliza

    it is the memories that make me both smile and cry – they catch me unawares almost as if they knew i needed them to find the strength to keep going – they are both the past and the next step – both silence and music – absence and presence and without them my soul would never soar.

  • Howie Geib

    I am far from home, so right now the memory of my place which is perfect as a nest, as it sits patiently awaiting my return. All memories of my boarding school, where I was to go from boy to man, a rite of passage with strong bonds, decent fights and lots of fresh air. Matins in the pre dawn church of d’En Calcat followed by The Best Coffee. And everyday, on my rowing machine, in the garage, I can close my eyes and I am on the sea and the water is gliding beneath me.

  • devy
    I have lots of memories which are hurtful that created depression and anxiety in my life. But I’ve also had many good memories— ones that I focus on ..the birth of my son, meeting and marrying my spouse, getting up early in the morning to enjoy the calm of nature while fishing, travelling around the world (which I’m looking forward to continue once and if things clear up).. I try to look at the negative experiences as life lessons, accept what happened and remember that they are water unde...

    I have lots of memories which are hurtful that created depression and anxiety in my life. But I’ve also had many good memories— ones that I focus on ..the birth of my son, meeting and marrying my spouse, getting up early in the morning to enjoy the calm of nature while fishing, travelling around the world (which I’m looking forward to continue once and if things clear up).. I try to look at the negative experiences as life lessons, accept what happened and remember that they are water under the bridge so why dwell on them

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  • sunnypatti
    Memories of time with my great-grandma Jewel, who I thought of the other day when my aunt posted an old photo of her on facebook. My great-grandma was the sweetest, kindest, strongest woman. She set such a good example on living and enjoying life. I remember eating pudding pops in her kitchen, her showing and telling me all about the flowers she grew, riding the bus to the grocery store with her. Her love is a great memory for me, and I feel it now. I can her her speak my name even though she pa...

    Memories of time with my great-grandma Jewel, who I thought of the other day when my aunt posted an old photo of her on facebook. My great-grandma was the sweetest, kindest, strongest woman. She set such a good example on living and enjoying life. I remember eating pudding pops in her kitchen, her showing and telling me all about the flowers she grew, riding the bus to the grocery store with her. Her love is a great memory for me, and I feel it now. I can her her speak my name even though she passed on when I was still a young girl. There are many others I was going to briefly mention, but I’m going to bask in some grandma angel energy instead ✨✨✨

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  • Kevin
    What memories sustain me? All of them inform and sustain me! And yet, I know too that I am fortunate. I have had the great privilege to have worked with and ministered to people, especially young people, for most of my adult life, so I know that memories for some people are painful and sometimes override the joyful and lighter moments of life that most of us treasure as we reminisce years gone by. The simplicity of today’s question may seem innocuous, and on its surface it is, but as one...

    What memories sustain me? All of them inform and sustain me!

    And yet, I know too that I am fortunate. I have had the great privilege to have worked with and ministered to people, especially young people, for most of my adult life, so I know that memories for some people are painful and sometimes override the joyful and lighter moments of life that most of us treasure as we reminisce years gone by. The simplicity of today’s question may seem innocuous, and on its surface it is, but as one reader I hold the awareness that for some people, memories deliver something other than sustenance and more than what appears on the surface.

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  • Carla
    Memories that sustain me include: sweet smell of freshly mowed alfalfa field reminding me of childhood summers spent with a nurturing Uncle & grandmother; sound of a morning dove’s call; taste of zucchini bread or meatloaf using my mom’s recipes; sunrises anywhere; and the scent of candle wax & polished wooden benches in antiquated churches revives childhood memories of the solace I found at Our Lady of Lourdes church in Omaha, Nebraska. In writing this I see how it is my senses tha...

    Memories that sustain me include: sweet smell of freshly mowed alfalfa field reminding me of childhood summers spent with a nurturing Uncle & grandmother; sound of a morning dove’s call; taste of zucchini bread or meatloaf using my mom’s recipes; sunrises anywhere; and the scent of candle wax & polished wooden benches in antiquated churches revives childhood memories of the solace I found at Our Lady of Lourdes church in Omaha, Nebraska. In writing this I see how it is my senses that hold my experiences of the Divine & being Beloved.

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    • Trish

      I lived in Omaha in my youth too, Carla. Your description of the church is beautiful.

    • Howie Geib

      Carla, I love the way you present the senses as triggers, pulling memories out of the well. And thank you for the connection made through recipes passed down! My cousin bakes Christmas cookies from my grandmother’s recipe and it is remarkable how she is in each one.

  • Pilgrim
    Memories of family sustain me - grandparents, parents, my daughters and their families. Memories brought by hearing touchpoint music - hymns, orchestras, marching bands, "beach" music, broadway, funny little songs my mom sang. Memories of surviving serious illness. Memories of my grandparents' land - learning to love the land and finding solace and inspiration, and freedom. Grateful for all that has been given, all that I have survived, all who have walked, and now walk with and supported me on ...

    Memories of family sustain me – grandparents, parents, my daughters and their families. Memories brought by hearing touchpoint music – hymns, orchestras, marching bands, “beach” music, broadway, funny little songs my mom sang. Memories of surviving serious illness. Memories of my grandparents’ land – learning to love the land and finding solace and inspiration, and freedom. Grateful for all that has been given, all that I have survived, all who have walked, and now walk with and supported me on the pilgrimage of life..

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