What hinders me from fully living into and acting on what matters? What helps me?

To answer this question I have to share an experience of gratitude I had last night. Yesterday an old friend came by to help me sell my apartment. I knew we would talk about the cult church we were once part of and spiritual matters of the heart about our journey and where it lead to now. In talking and listening I learned we are worlds apart but I spoke up about what matters to me. She voiced her objections to what she believes God thinks verses what her present church teaches. In between breaths she kept saying ,”I don’t know where you are at about “…{ whatever} and I didn’t stop her because It didn’t matter and she wasn’t waiting for a response. But when she brought up homosexuals being accepted in church I had to stop her and speak. I said what needed to be said according to my understanding about God and church and shared an experience I had with a friend who died of Aids and how he served those around him who were also dying till the very end and how I loved him. I was not about to argue or try to belabor a point. I was not angry as I spoke (that surprised me). She is a deacon at her church and talked a lot about bringing people to Christ which was the same teaching the cult taught with a slightly different slant. She went on to share about her children. One blogs about the experience in the cult and warns others to stay away. One is still there and has tremendous doubts and is miserable. And her youngest is an atheist who is struggling to find his place in the world with ADHD, alcoholism, and other addictions. He can’t keep a job and lives at home in his 30’s. She has deep concerns about all of them. Having similar experiences as her youngest, I offered some suggestions that help me. She listened and took notes. I can’t get locked into doctrine or opinions anymore but I can share from my experience when necessary. I’m so glad I didn’t remember until now the attributes of a Deacon according to the scriptures. It talks about managing your own household and it was a position given to a man if you want to be legalistic. I’m glad I didn’t remember I would have hit her right between the eyes. I don’t think I will pursue moving right now not with her anyway. My cat was terrified at the sound of her non stop loud voice besides. He cuddled for comfort when she left. That tells me a lot. Living here in love with my little Oliver (7 month old kitten) is all I need at the moment. I’m content with that.