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Daily Question, June 7

What have I learned lately?

  • Roy Howard

    I’ve been learning and relearning the songs of birds. It’s a joy to distinguish one from the other, in the same way I hear the different voices of humans. The summer tanager has a different call than the scarlet tanager. The white-eyed vireo is distinctively different than the red-eyed vireo. All joy.

  • Malag

    That two shots is better than one and that no shots for the bulk of the world’s population is a serious dereliction of duty by the western world.

  • Laura
    What I have learned lately is that social media is a facade and we are all just trying to work our way through life in our own ways. Not everything is what it seems. Everyone has a different path and I need to focus on mine and no one else's. I've also learned that I need to work on instilling confidence in myself - I'm doing great in a lot of ways objectively but I need to be able to believe it. I need to believe in myself more because at the end of the day, all I have is myself and I need to c...

    What I have learned lately is that social media is a facade and we are all just trying to work our way through life in our own ways. Not everything is what it seems. Everyone has a different path and I need to focus on mine and no one else’s. I’ve also learned that I need to work on instilling confidence in myself – I’m doing great in a lot of ways objectively but I need to be able to believe it. I need to believe in myself more because at the end of the day, all I have is myself and I need to compare myself to my past self, not what other people are doing.

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  • Ose
    Something about a shadow aspect of mine which I hope to be able to transform, if possible. I will try to write about it before the pain in my ear will make it impossible again. Inside, there is a hidden sensation of being "better" than others, that I would deserve "better", which can put others in second place. Not always, but often enough, I guess. It took a long way to start see it as it is and I feel awful about it. It probably is imprinted by neurotic structures in my family of origin, givin...

    Something about a shadow aspect of mine which I hope to be able to transform, if possible. I will try to write about it before the pain in my ear will make it impossible again. Inside, there is a hidden sensation of being “better” than others, that I would deserve “better”, which can put others in second place. Not always, but often enough, I guess. It took a long way to start see it as it is and I feel awful about it. It probably is imprinted by neurotic structures in my family of origin, giving me signals of being someone special, while in the same time, emotional warmth and care was rarely available, if at all, for all of my siblings. This combination might have driven me to cultivate many talents, but unfortunately as well to hide behind this inner pride. When I met friends as a teen, the circumstances did not allow to stay with them, and in my despair of not being able to stay with them, I withdrew inside and sat aside, only watching them being together in joy and playfulness until very soon, I had to leave anyway. I could not jump over it and find a new togetherness, and if only for half an hour. It lead to a life of feeling desperately isolated for a long time, which slowly could heal at least, but the underlying pride still seem to have cost to lead a life more in real contact with people and in tune with His Love, where inner pride of course is a no go. So this is what I have learned about myself. May be this is a step to transform it. It would be wonderful. Please forgive me.

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    • Howie Geib
      I have many aspects of my personality that are not seemingly useful. Like old costumes in a wardrobe for parts I long ago outgrew and can no longer play with authenticity, and yet can't seem to discard. Threads of a tapestry that individually make no obvious contribution and yet, when it is hung on the wall, they are a part of a whole. In that sense these aspects of myself, though dormant, continue to influence the flavor of my experience. whether I acknowledge them or not. The more I am aware o...

      I have many aspects of my personality that are not seemingly useful. Like old costumes in a wardrobe for parts I long ago outgrew and can no longer play with authenticity, and yet can’t seem to discard. Threads of a tapestry that individually make no obvious contribution and yet, when it is hung on the wall, they are a part of a whole. In that sense these aspects of myself, though dormant, continue to influence the flavor of my experience. whether I acknowledge them or not. The more I am aware of them they seem to change and in what light I can expose them to start to be less troublesome. I pray that is the case for you as well with this revelation.

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  • Dusty Su

    1. I am more resilient than I know.
    2. I do better when trusted with lots of wriggle room.
    3. Holding integrity at the center of my actions pays off. Even when it seems it won’t.
    4. I need more recoup of energy time than I realize.
    5. Autism is an amazing gift and filter to explain so much about my life, being, strengths, weaknesses, and needs. They diagnosed me last year at age 59.
    6. Points 1-4 are better understood because I now have point 5.

  • dcdeb

    Not to take anything for granted, and that things aren’t always what the seem. Also, a lot of people can be easily programmed.

  • Don Jones

    There are billions and trillions of stories, but only one Truth.

  • sb
    Over lockdown I learned that although I do have a busy life, it is me filling every second and not, as I always said, that there is too much to do! I am still learning to navigate my way past this and do less but at least being aware that it is, in some respects, my choice, is giving me a different perspective. My Dad always said we never stop learning and that is very true - every day I learn something new - a new word, a new fact, a new idea - and that helps keep me growing and developing. I...

    Over lockdown I learned that although I do have a busy life, it is me filling every second and not, as I always said, that there is too much to do! I am still learning to navigate my way past this and do less but at least being aware that it is, in some respects, my choice, is giving me a different perspective.
    My Dad always said we never stop learning and that is very true – every day I learn something new – a new word, a new fact, a new idea – and that helps keep me growing and developing.
    I learn a lot from this website and the wisdom of all who participate – a big thank you to everyone!

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  • Hemant

    Discipline and self aware helps one to recover

  • Toni

    To take it easy and focus on what I can do and not what I can’t.

  • Mica

    I learn all sorts of things by answering questions on Quora. None of them leap to mind now. But I have an email from one of my wonderful sisters-in-law about the different rates at which we age, with an NYT link, and I look fwd to reading it when I’m finished here.

  • Sarah

    If I stay connected to the heart space and keep the ego in its place then life is where it needs to be … in the now!

  • SK

    I have learned lately that YES I CAN but only because GOD’s GOT THIS. I am learning again about the reason for good, clean and healthy foods; about supporting others in their weight loss journey; about being in the moment with all that happens- good or bad. I have earned lately that I can only hike my hike. It might get lonely but it’s only my hike.

  • Katrina

    I have learned that many young people now use the phrase “search it up” in place of “look it up” when referring to searching the internet for information of any kind. I love staying connected with young people for so many reasons. This one just makes me smile. I don’t know why.

  • devy

    I have learned that even though I’ve come a long way dealing with my anxiety that I’m still a work in progress. Perhaps like an alcoholic it will be an ongoing thing but at least I have learned and will learn more new coping skill to handle it..

    • Toni
      In AA they use the phrase, "progress not perfection". I used to think I was an alcoholic but what I was was looking for connection and relief from anxiety/depression and loneliness. Russel Brand has a program using the AA principles for everything not just addiction. I don't know if that crossed your path but he uses humor and his experience in recovery. I find his work fun and enlightening. We are all in recovery from one thing or another on the path to becoming our best self. Anxiety/de...

      In AA they use the phrase, “progress not perfection”. I used to think I was an alcoholic but what I was was looking for connection and relief from anxiety/depression and loneliness. Russel Brand has a program using the AA principles for everything not just addiction. I don’t know if that crossed your path but he uses humor and his experience in recovery. I find his work fun and enlightening. We are all in recovery from one thing or another on the path to becoming our best self. Anxiety/depression has been the underlying cause of most of my suffering. Some days are better than others. Thank God its just one day at a time. Keep up the good work! There is light at the end of the tunnel. Like Carol is saying, we are not what we think we are, we are so much more. We may share the human condition but we are not one size fits all.

      I like the Maya Angelou quote, “When we know better we do better”. So more power to ya, have a great day. It is one day at a time. Progress not perfection.

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    • Carol
      Devy, A dear friend of mine who was training to be a social worker was mentored by a practicing psychiatrist. He told her," I have been afraid of the dark since childhood. Therapy has helped me identify the specific instance that triggered my fear. I know the source but my immediate reaction to being plunged into the dark is still fear and anxiety." I find that story helpful as anxiety has been my companion since my earliest memory. I don't think we can ever get to where it doesn't rear its he...

      Devy, A dear friend of mine who was training to be a social worker was mentored by a practicing psychiatrist. He told her,” I have been afraid of the dark since childhood. Therapy has helped me identify the specific instance that triggered my fear. I know the source but my immediate reaction to being plunged into the dark is still fear and anxiety.” I find that story helpful as anxiety has been my companion since my earliest memory. I don’t think we can ever get to where it doesn’t rear its head but we can get to where we no longer become it. We are not our anxiety. I used to think of my anxiety as a spiritual failing. I now see it as an asset to my spiritual growth. I’m reminded of yesterday’s quote of the day: ” Wholeness does not mean perfection. It means embracing brokenness as an integral part of life.” Parker Palmer

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  • DeVonna
    Goodness...so much! As you know, I've just found my birth family and I have four siblings and TONS of aunts, uncles, neices and nephews... it is so wonderful! and a tad overwhelming for a lifelong loner, lol. I guess the biggest thing I have learned lately is I am an amalgam of all my life's components, known and unknown. When I was young I had a nice singing voice and I sang, all the time. Everywhere. In the car, in the house, hanging laundry, taking a walk, in public, in private, I just loved ...

    Goodness…so much! As you know, I’ve just found my birth family and I have four siblings and TONS of aunts, uncles, neices and nephews… it is so wonderful! and a tad overwhelming for a lifelong loner, lol. I guess the biggest thing I have learned lately is I am an amalgam of all my life’s components, known and unknown. When I was young I had a nice singing voice and I sang, all the time. Everywhere. In the car, in the house, hanging laundry, taking a walk, in public, in private, I just loved to sing! My children have told me they have fond memories of my “beautiful singing voice” when they were children. Well, my entire birth family is musical! They play guitars, keyboard, mandolins, banjos, fiddle, and they sing and write music! I cant sing anymore,(I had a bad bout of bronchitis followed by pneumonia that ruined my throat, I really can’t carry a tune anymore.) But my point is, it was in my DNA, all along!

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  • Trish

    I’m learning to be prepared to go with the flow (oxymoron of sorts…) things rarely go as planned so it’s best to embrace twists, turns & even flat out falls on my face. That’s the way life works🙂

  • Mike S

    I am learning about some wonderful websites that help to identify birds by color, shape and region. On our daily walks my wife and I come across and aquatic sanctuary literally hundreds of white birds which so far we have identified as Egrets. They make a real racket, and are nesting, producing chicks.

    • Michele

      My neighborhood of peacocks are quite loud too as it’s been mating season.

  • Howie Geib
    I learned about the Gulf stream as it moves through the Straits of Florida. It is over 1200 feet deep and is moving between 3-8 mph at the surface headed north. It is like a conveyor belt moving this huge volume of warm water across the North Atlantic. So I, in my little boat, get a tailwind effect, an assist, that propels me if I row with it. Rowing against it, I would be hard pressed to not lose ground. The wisdom of our event course became very clear as we commence in Bimini in the Bahamas, a...

    I learned about the Gulf stream as it moves through the Straits of Florida. It is over 1200 feet deep and is moving between 3-8 mph at the surface headed north. It is like a conveyor belt moving this huge volume of warm water across the North Atlantic. So I, in my little boat, get a tailwind effect, an assist, that propels me if I row with it. Rowing against it, I would be hard pressed to not lose ground. The wisdom of our event course became very clear as we commence in Bimini in the Bahamas, and almost immediately mount the Gulf Stream and it basically does over half the work as we head across towards Florida in Lake Worth. Rowing 50 miles “actually” as opposed to the 80 miles we will cover. What an extraordinary planet.

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    • Michele

      When is your event again? Hopefully you’ll have perfect weather for it too:)

    • Mike S

      Howie, thanks for sharing. I’ve also heard that fresh water melt from Greenland may be disrupting the borthwsrd and eastward flow of the Gulf Stream, whic could cause cooling along the Esstern seaboard as well as the UK and Western Europe. Your thoughts?

      • Howie Geib

        Well I haven’t much to add to that aspect, other than I have read the fresh water is definitely going to influence but the extent I haven’t heard…

      • Mica

        And, Howie and Mike, I just learned on Quora that, when water gets the densest, at 4 deg C, it sinks and stirs up all the stuff at the bottom of the lake, bringing nutrients up, before it freezes and rises – or, rises and freezes?

  • Holly in Ohio
    I've been learning quite a hodge-podge of things. I've come to appreciate more how you can't get to mental health or physical health without doing the things healthy people do as habit, so I have been trying to observe the ups and downs of my son and what he is doing at the time. I've also been learning/thinking through writing... I come back from the garden and write what I am figuring out about things like saving time while shoveling compost (I know that sounds silly, but it makes a big diffe...

    I’ve been learning quite a hodge-podge of things. I’ve come to appreciate more how you can’t get to mental health or physical health without doing the things healthy people do as habit, so I have been trying to observe the ups and downs of my son and what he is doing at the time. I’ve also been learning/thinking through writing… I come back from the garden and write what I am figuring out about things like saving time while shoveling compost (I know that sounds silly, but it makes a big difference – work smarter, not harder!). I’ve also been learning our family’s heritage and what they were doing during colonial America. I’ve been learning many fun things about the English language and passing them on to my brother, and spotting funny errors. Yesterday, CNN repeatedly reported the “SWARM” of earthquakes in California. That had me laughing! Sorry, California, I’m just laughing because of the picture it put in my mind. 😀

    I can’t stop my head from absorbing things almost every moment I’m awake. I both love it and sometimes find it tiring, but that’s just how I am.

    Read More
    • Mica

      Ooh – a bit like my ancestor who came over from England in the mid 1800’s – his branch of the family name [Greenwood] will die out with my brothers, but my granddaughters carry his genes. My claim is just to be related to people who came over on Penn’s boat. It’s not clear that anyone will care about my ancestry. My daughter is childless, and my son doesn’t care. He has bundles of inlaws. But I hope to have the old family photos and such in decent order when I pass. Thanks for motivating me 🙂

    • Mica

      Thank you, Holly in Ohio – I’ll think of you as I stir my tiny black plant bag of compost and coffee grounds 🙂
      And, when I think about earthquakes here in my state – I guess we just used more and different words to describe the ‘swarms’ – aftershocks and such. How are you finding out about your family in colonial America? I don’t think I have any info about my family, that far back.

      • Holly in Ohio
        I've been fortunate. I was only 12 or 13 when a weird history teacher asked each of his students to start a tree. I talked to my mom, got a few generations, and never stopped, LOL. Ironically I kept researching because I was trying to find "ethnicity," lol. I was just a kid, but both my best friends had parents who were immigrants and I thought they had great food and interesting traditions, and I wanted to be cool like that, too! I just wound up having to search a LOT longer before I found a...

        I’ve been fortunate. I was only 12 or 13 when a weird history teacher asked each of his students to start a tree. I talked to my mom, got a few generations, and never stopped, LOL. Ironically I kept researching because I was trying to find “ethnicity,” lol. I was just a kid, but both my best friends had parents who were immigrants and I thought they had great food and interesting traditions, and I wanted to be cool like that, too! I just wound up having to search a LOT longer before I found any! More recently I’ve been searching for evidence of ancestors as indentured servants, and decided on a whim to see if there were any on the Mayflower. Sure enough, there was my ancestor on the list as indentured! So how I got there was from starting with what my mom said when I was a kid…that we had an ancestor on the Mayflower and she didn’t know the name, but she did know the name of another ancestor we had from colonial America. then I carefully traced what I knew of our family on her side as far back as I could which was to her grandparents, I got back a tiny bit further with document research, and then went to see if I could find a match in the Mayflower Registry, which at the time was a book at a local library, it wasn’t digitalized then. That was when I was just 18. Today researching it is much easier… you always speak with relatives first and get all you collectively know ‘on paper,’ names, locations, graves, birthdates, what church they went to, their profession, their church, if they were in service (any detail might help), even if it is only your parents, then you will just start there… but the more you have the easier it gets to verify you are on the right track. Then you can go to a place like FamilySearch.org It’s free, but you need to sign up. There is not a need to spend money! These days so many people put their trees online that it helps because we can connect to them (but you have to expect there might be errors posted, also). Most information you can access for free. There is also a free place called FindAGrave.com where you might be able to find the names of the parents of the oldest relative you know, and then follow that back. I’d be interested in knowing how far you get just doing a little searching online one day. Sometimes also there are local clubs that can help guide you and may have workshops that help with difficult researching, like through adoptions, slavery, female ancestors, lost records, etc. Our public library has one that originally started as a group of African Americans trying to research slave ancestors, but now it includes people of any heritage and covers all topics. We get tips from each other. That’s free, too, and you might have something similar in your area. Usually a librarian can help you find local groups like that. Genealogy is kind of like detective work or treasure hunting, and it’s fun! It is yet another way I have learned that we are all connected!

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        • Mica
          Fun! I'm not doing much with my tree now. Both my parents claimed to have an ancestor who came over with William Penn. My dad pointed to the ancestor in my pre-computer tree book, where I had filled stuff in from family info. But William Penn had died before that guy was born! My tree is on ancestry.com, and I have my 23andMe DNA data, which shows me to be boring Northern European. A distant relative found me on 23andMe, which was exciting, because I have no biological cousins, nieces, or nephew...

          Fun! I’m not doing much with my tree now. Both my parents claimed to have an ancestor who came over with William Penn. My dad pointed to the ancestor in my pre-computer tree book, where I had filled stuff in from family info. But William Penn had died before that guy was born! My tree is on ancestry.com, and I have my 23andMe DNA data, which shows me to be boring Northern European. A distant relative found me on 23andMe, which was exciting, because I have no biological cousins, nieces, or nephews. She was an offspring of my Great [half] Aunt Ollie, who lived across the street from my Grandma in a little town in SW Penna. Thanks –

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          • Holly in Ohio

            You might enjoy this article, Mica! https://billypenn.com/2017/09/04/no-youre-not-a-descendant-of-william-penn/

            Everyone gets things like that in genealogy. I’ve chased some things myself. That’s what makes it so much like a treasure hunt! 😀

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