What have I done recently that has required courage?

I’ve always struggled with the word courage. Perhaps, because in childhood the message I got made me question my worth. It made it hard for me to understand the difference between healthy fear and psychological fear. I failed to grasp that healthy fear is my friend. It is a signal that there is real danger. I failed to understand that in most cases my fears were psychological and psychological fear is my foe. It is usually a fear of failure. It tells me the only way to be in control is to avoid risk. It whispers, “You can’t fail if you never risk.” And so, I think it is safe to say that my first reaction to most situations that involve risk is anxiety. A need for total control is always my first reaction. I’ve learned to stop and challenge it. I’ve learned that there is a difference between being “out of control” and “losing control to my spirit.” I’ve learned that my “intention” will determine my “attention.” The roots of the word courage speak of a brave heart. I think we find courage when can picture ourselves challenging what our head is telling us with the loving energy emanating from our hearts. My 12 step sponsor used to put it this way: “The opposite of fear is not courage. It is love.” Courage is the cultivation of a brave and loving heart. It sees responsibility as the “ability to respond.” It understands that to act is different than to react. It knows that when I can own my thoughts and feelings, they will not own me. I’ve learned that for me, the biggest battle is always the battle within. It is often a daily battle.