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Daily Question, June 26

What do I find people thank me for?

  • Maeve

    For texting my Sudanese student’s mother every evening, with reminders of her daughter’s homework. A small thing, but my doing it consistently matters.

  • Stephanie

    I believe what I find people thank full for me is that I’m nice and friendly and caring ask I help people in there tough times and i share my stuff most of the time

  • Don Jones

    Haha, leaving…

  • Chester
    Makes me think of a training that I participated in several years ago - "Arbinger" training - felt overly simplistic and unnecessary but ultimately found it to focus on the basics that were just what my organization (and society in general these days) needed. The fundamental idea is that for any group to be effective its members had to maintain an "outward" focus - focusing on what other members needed, rather than focusing on their own needs. This contrasted with the opposing "inward" focus, wh...

    Makes me think of a training that I participated in several years ago – “Arbinger” training – felt overly simplistic and unnecessary but ultimately found it to focus on the basics that were just what my organization (and society in general these days) needed. The fundamental idea is that for any group to be effective its members had to maintain an “outward” focus – focusing on what other members needed, rather than focusing on their own needs. This contrasted with the opposing “inward” focus, which meant focusing on one’s own wants and needs. Generally I am thanked when I succeed in maintaining an outward focus – fulfilling the needs of the other. Indeed so simple, yet so important and overlooked in our present society.

    Read More
  • Hot Sauce

    I’ve had people thank me for being kind to them. Right now, I am working as a substitute teacher, and I’ve had students tell me that they appreciate that I am nice to them because other substitutes have been rude or inconsiderate to them. I also have had one person tell me I saved her from suicide without knowing it.

    • Barb C

      Saving a life is huge, Hot Sauce. We don’t always know about the big effects we may have had on someone else’s life.

  • Mahua Seth

    For thinking of them and helping them in times of need.

  • carol

    … listening, food, hosting, suggesting, helping,. …hmm– physical needs … and social needs to be met on the road to living our inborn heritage. The need to experience appreciation, to be seen, to be valued, — hmm – universal need of humans … give and receive… reminds me of a Thanksgiving cornucopia overflowing with the fruits of our labors

  • pkr

    I get thanked often for being positive & uplifting. Friends also tell me they learn a lot from me. I am blessed in that I have had many wise, smart teachers cross my path & share knowledge & wisdom. I have always believed that it is my duty, responsibility to share this with others. I try….I sow good seeds where I can.
    Have a joy filled day All…❤️🙏

  • Brian

    Family and friends thank me for meals when we visit — I think the thank you is not only for the meal but, more importantly, also the time together. There might just be (a lot) more to a “Thank you”, depending upon the context, people involved and their shared history. Gratefulness grows with a thank you.

  • Antoinette

    I’m not sure – my kids say thanks for making them food. Today I got thanked for giving a well deserved compliment to someone.

  • Barb C
    I replied to someone's comment below and will capture it here too: This question at first made me pause. I stopped for a moment on the self-gratification it could imply to sit and think about how praiseworthy I am. Then I thought hey, it’s reminding me that other people may be grateful for things I do. Listing them would reinforce that these are things of value to others and continuing them makes the world a better place. It isn’t only our own gratefulness that counts. So, a few things t...

    I replied to someone’s comment below and will capture it here too: This question at first made me pause. I stopped for a moment on the self-gratification it could imply to sit and think about how praiseworthy I am. Then I thought hey, it’s reminding me that other people may be grateful for things I do. Listing them would reinforce that these are things of value to others and continuing them makes the world a better place. It isn’t only our own gratefulness that counts.

    So, a few things that come to mind where I especially appreciate what’s being recognized–

    At work, I’m thanked (by some) for always raising questions about equity and justice and how we can get better, for leading change within my agency, and for being very inclusive in my leadership (within a hierarchical structure with people who aren’t used to this). I couldn’t work there if I couldn’t do these things so basically I’m thanked for being me.

    My daughters have thanked me for being the reliable parent who gave them values, love, and support, and made them care about making the world better and standing up for what they believe in. I got the same thank you from a (former) stepdaughter who continues to be a family member and that meant a lot, as we had some rough years when she was a rebellious teen.

    I get thanked for my cooking and baking–especially by my hungry husband, and by guests when we have them. That’s rare these days and I miss hosting.

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  • Javier Visionquest

    For locating and suggesting plants that do “just what they wanted” them to

    • Mica

      Cool! Can you give examples, Javier? 🙂

      • Javier Visionquest
        Someone wants a hardy ground cover that tolerates both sun and shade (pachysandra) and maybe a little color in spring? (vinca) they’re both over past the restrooms, sold in flats on the high racks marked “GROUNDCOVER”. Someone else wants that big bush that they remember outside their granny’s kitchen window where she always dumped her spent coffee grinds. “You know, the one with bunches of flowers with two different colors?” (hydrangea) “Bed 11”. Another wants Silver and Gold hon...

        Someone wants a hardy ground cover that tolerates both sun and shade (pachysandra) and maybe a little color in spring? (vinca) they’re both over past the restrooms, sold in flats on the high racks marked “GROUNDCOVER”. Someone else wants that big bush that they remember outside their granny’s kitchen window where she always dumped her spent coffee grinds. “You know, the one with bunches of flowers with two different colors?” (hydrangea) “Bed 11”. Another wants Silver and Gold honeysuckle and I convince them not to put that in their yard, at all.

        Read More
        • Mica

          Thank you – pachysandra is a familiar name but I don’t recognize the plant. Vinca! I hired the Yogaville school kids to plant it around the house I lived in many years ago. Lots of hydrangeas out here – I think the color variation in a single plant is due to pH changes as the flowers age and get less(?) acidic. [google: fresh flowers had a pH of 3.9; old flowers had a pH of 4.5] Thanks!

    • Barb C

      That is indeed a gift you give others! We have a yard that had been very neglected and we’re slowly turning it into what we want for food production and also to make it better habitat. I took some naturescaping classes and a rain garden class and then got stuck at the plant selection stage. I need to sit down with the books I got on native plant gardening and rewatch the course videos to get traction again.

  • Butterfly

    My children have thanked me for what I taught them and how I raised them. That is all the thanks that is of any real significance to me. Friends have thanked me for my support and I am happy to support anyone I can. Everything else is general day to day politeness to me.

    • Barb C

      Being a good friend and parent are both valuable. How wonderful that you got to receive direct acknowledgement from people whose lives you have touched.

  • Laura

    For listening.
    Thank you for this question. I’ve never given it any thought before now, and it revealed something about myself that I hadn’t previously noticed — that maybe I’m a better and more frequent listener than I give myself credit for.

  • Michele

    Reaching out. Just yesterday I texted a close friend to touch base with her and she thanked me for reaching out. It was nice to catch up.

  • sunnypatti

    For listening, for being kind and positive, and for the great job I do at work, although with that one, I’m just doing what they’re paying me to do.

    • Barb C

      Kindness and positivity add to the net joy in the universe and that is no small thing.

  • EJP

    People thank me for my thoughtfuness, however great or small.

  • Hermann-Josef

    For taking them as they are and for being as I am

  • Kevin

    People everywhere thank me for my exceedingly good looks, fantastic smile, and intellectual prowess. Frankly, some days it’s difficult to be me. (Sorry, today’s Daily Question just cracks me up…even at this time of day!)

    • Maeve

      Well okay, funny. But it is a good question for me, because it isn’t “Yay, terrific me”. It’s often something I have done matter of factly , without trying to be virtuous. The appreciation has often taken me by surprise.

      • Kevin

        Your point is well taken, Maeve, and I think you’re right. There’s a value, oftentimes even more so for the person who is expressing their their appreciation as there is for the receiver. But at that moment, it just struck me as odd to read that as a Daily Question.

    • Mica
      Thanks for the laughs, Kevin! My son and his wife thanked me yesterday for being willing to help their nanny find a new job, but that seemed too boring to post. It was delightful - I was feeling gloomy in the morning, with nothing urgent or exciting to do, and then my son asked for help, because the nanny expected a lot of support in her search. He sent me his letter of recommendation for editing, too, and I thought recommending the nanny 'as enthusiastically as possible' was worse than just 'en...

      Thanks for the laughs, Kevin! My son and his wife thanked me yesterday for being willing to help their nanny find a new job, but that seemed too boring to post. It was delightful – I was feeling gloomy in the morning, with nothing urgent or exciting to do, and then my son asked for help, because the nanny expected a lot of support in her search. He sent me his letter of recommendation for editing, too, and I thought recommending the nanny ‘as enthusiastically as possible’ was worse than just ‘enthusiastically’ because it sounded like he’d recommend her more enthusiastically if she had been a better nanny 🙂

      Read More
    • Michele

      loved this, it reminded me of my cousin, Rob, (he passed away suddenly by car accident 2011). He used to say ‘I can’t wait till tomorrow’ and then you’d ask ‘why?”, and his response, ‘Because I get better looking everyday’, lol.

      • Kevin

        Thanks, Michele. I wish that I could have met Rob. A tragic and sudden loss for sure.

    • Lee Anne

      Thank you, Kevin, for giving me the first smile and belly laugh of the day! The question is bizarre and, for me, has implied hubris in its wording. Dare I ask, how or who comes up with one like this? Hey, I’m still laughing … 😊

      • Barb C

        I stopped on it too, and then thought hey, it’s reminding me that other people may be grateful for things I do. Listing them would reinforce that these are things of value to others and continuing them makes the world a better place. It isn’t only our own gratefulness that counts.

  • Julian Daal Childers

    I really had to think of this one…Because I realized that there are things that I’d like them to thank me for….and then there are things that people actually thank me for.

    People tend to thank me for my insight and perspective, and for giving them the truth and not “co-signing” or giving the a “what they wanna here” type answer.

    • Barb C

      What would you like them to thank you for (if you’d like to share)?

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