Daily Question, July 23 What can I learn from my regrets? 33 Reflections Share Click here to cancel reply.Please log in or Create a Profile to post a comment. Notify me when someone replies to my comment via e-mail. Tanisha2 weeks agoTanishaThat everything is a life lesson. Forgive yourself and move forward 1 Reply Don Jones2 weeks agoDon JonesAcceptance of what was, know that it is not here now, and be open to what is. 3 Reply pkr2 weeks agopkrI try hard not to “regret”. When you know better, you do better. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Life is a learning process. Just got to keep moving forward, better & wiser. Happy Saturday All. Look for Joy today. 🌼🐝✨🙏❤️ 5 Reply Mary Pat2 weeks agoMary PatOh my, so many things. To sum up, I would say to think carefully before going blindly ahead. Look at all sides of whatever I am thinking about, ASK QUESTIONS, and take some time with it…do not rush. In my experience, that is what has put me in the place of having regrets. It’s good to be back in this holy Space. I will pop in and out as my health allows. Sometimes I get on to just read your responses, as they give me new ways of looking at things, so thank you all for being here. 2 Reply Mica2 weeks agoMicaTo change. I was cross with my granddaughter’s nanny when helping her find her next job, and I regretted it and worked hard to remember the Dalai Lama’s religion – Kindness – and practice it in my further interactions with her. She expressed lots of gratitude for my help, which feels rewarding. I'm reminded of how my mother regarded child rearing as a job filled with worry and regrets. When my son was born, I was happy to discover that, if I thought I'd done something wrong one day, I'd ...To change. I was cross with my granddaughter’s nanny when helping her find her next job, and I regretted it and worked hard to remember the Dalai Lama’s religion – Kindness – and practice it in my further interactions with her. She expressed lots of gratitude for my help, which feels rewarding. I’m reminded of how my mother regarded child rearing as a job filled with worry and regrets. When my son was born, I was happy to discover that, if I thought I’d done something wrong one day, I’d do it differently the next day! There are of course things I regret about how I raised my children, but the regrets were never dominant when I was raising them. Read More4 Reply Charlie T2 weeks agoCharlie TI am learning to not dwell on my regrets. Replaying scenarios and decisions over and over, is a distraction from being present. Instead, I vow to make adjustments in my behavior and when necessary, make amends, apologize, and move forward. This was not always possible for me, but through self awareness, I am beginning to see the patterns and I am able to observe them. 4 Reply KC2 weeks agoKCAs regrets arise in the great compost heap of life, I can face and deal with them as best I can, when / as appropriate or necessary. I can offer kindness to myself, rather than direct a ‘second arrow’ of hurt inward. I can reach out for support from a trusted other to reframe and glean the learnings and any action to follow. I can let it go … 3 Reply Mica2 weeks agoMicaThank you, KC – I like what you say – compost, kindness, no second arrow of hurt inward! 🙂 1 Reply KC2 weeks agoKC🙂 2 Reply GR8FULL2 weeks agoGR8FULLI have a section in my AM practice called “life’s regrets and the lessons learned”. Each AM I hope to either jot down a regret and, if I’m lucky, the lesson learned, or sometimes, just a regret, and return at a later date to jot down the lesson learned. Within the lessons learned are my personal shortcomings. For me, a lot of my regrets stem from acting out of fear of not being liked, accepted or rejected. That lesson learned becomes a focal point of my personal development, in this case...I have a section in my AM practice called “life’s regrets and the lessons learned”. Each AM I hope to either jot down a regret and, if I’m lucky, the lesson learned, or sometimes, just a regret, and return at a later date to jot down the lesson learned. Within the lessons learned are my personal shortcomings. For me, a lot of my regrets stem from acting out of fear of not being liked, accepted or rejected. That lesson learned becomes a focal point of my personal development, in this case, to learn how to accept myself from within and not rely on external forces for validation. So I learn a lot about myself when analyzing my regrets but I’d like to think the best part of it is what others learn about themselves when they witness me overcoming my shortcomings and becoming a better version of myself. Read More2 Reply sunnypatti2 weeks agosunnypattiNo regrets. Everything that has happened from all of my poor decisions to all of the good ones has led me to where I am today. I keep learning and growing, and sometimes that process includes pain and suffering. The good thing is, I’ve learned not to dwell on the pain and suffering and find the lesson. I’ve always said that everything happens for a reason. I’m a believer! 5 Reply Barb C2 weeks agoBarb CThis captures my philosophy as well. If I like who I am now, I have to accept all the twists and turns on the path that brought me to this point. I did a lot of work years ago to learn to set things down and not keep carrying burdens because the only person suffering was me and I was doing it to myself. I can carry the learning forward without the burden. 6 Reply sunnypatti2 weeks agosunnypattiYes – right on, Barb! We have the choice on what we carry around. That was a tough but great lesson to learn! 1 Reply amacord2 weeks agoamacordcompassion and perspective—self compassion for my errors in judgment, harshness and fear. Fear provokes some negative actions on my part. The fear exposes my vulnerability, my aversion to letting events unfold organically..I have often acted in haste and urgency with painful results. This is how we learn. Blessed be. 3 Reply Carol2 weeks agoCarolThe answer to today’s question is in the question. Regrets can, when we are willing, be a teachable moment. The question did make me chuckle and think of something I read years ago about the difference between regret and remorse. Remorse is like running a red light. If we get a ticket, we have remorse. If we don’t get caught, we definitely do not regret it! Tee-Hee! 2 Reply Mica2 weeks agoMicaThat’s a good one, Carol, about the red light and regret and remorse 🙂 1 Reply Carla2 weeks agoCarlaI’ve learned to not have regrets. Everything DOES happen for a reason. There’s many lessons to be learned along the way while living life. 7 Reply Rabbit2 weeks agoRabbitThis question reminds me of a song. I posted it in the Gratitude Lounge. 2 Reply Mica2 weeks agoMicaSuch a great song, Rabbit! A wonderful start to my day 🙂 1 Reply devy2 weeks agodevyThere should be no regrets..only lessons learned. 5 Reply Rabbit2 weeks agoRabbitI think regret is a spectrum that runs all the way from something I did for which I am sorry to something that I wished I had done. In the present, the learning is to choose wisely anywhere on the spectrum. The other learning is that we can’t change those past decisions but we can try to find wisdom, peace and joy today. This, perhaps, is a reason people come to this site. I am grateful for all of you. 6 Reply Barb C2 weeks agoBarb CWell put. This helps me unpack some thoughts on this–I don’t really like this question. 1 Reply EJP2 weeks agoEJPMy regrets have taught me to be more open to everything lthat ilife offers and not to be fearful of anything. 5 Reply Michele2 weeks agoMicheleYou can’t change the past. Regret is just a negative emotion. Try to stay focused on the present. Learning is the key word. Have a good weekend everyone:) 7 Reply Kevin2 weeks agoKevinIt depends on what type of regret I am thinking about. Some regrets help to teach me, or at least reframe an action that I took so that I can consider doing it differently should there be a “next time.” Other regrets, like it or not, I just need to live with and learn to let go of over time. Blaming one self, I think, can be a close cousin to regret and serves no one well. Sometimes we need the love and attention of a person we trust to help us reframe this kind of regret so that we can actu...It depends on what type of regret I am thinking about. Some regrets help to teach me, or at least reframe an action that I took so that I can consider doing it differently should there be a “next time.” Other regrets, like it or not, I just need to live with and learn to let go of over time. Blaming one self, I think, can be a close cousin to regret and serves no one well. Sometimes we need the love and attention of a person we trust to help us reframe this kind of regret so that we can actually learn from it. Read More9 Reply KC2 weeks agoKCKevin, Thank you. I appreciate your naming self-blame as a close cousin of regret, which serves no one well. Also, the love and attention of a trusted person to help us to reframe, and learn from our regrets. So wise and helpful. Warmly, KC 2 Reply Kevin2 weeks agoKevinThanks, KC, and it’s so nice to hear from you in particular. Hope all is well. 1 Reply Carol2 weeks agoCarolKevin, Sometimes when I'm regretting an action I took many years ago, the light bulb goes on and I realize that the person I was at that time was doing the best she could do. I call such moments: "Blinding gifts of the obvious." It doesn't change the consequences of the action I took so long ago but it brings me peace. Acceptance is such a gift. As English Philosopher Roger Scruton, a man who faced many serious challenges in his life, said in his final writings, "Coming close to death you begin...Kevin, Sometimes when I’m regretting an action I took many years ago, the light bulb goes on and I realize that the person I was at that time was doing the best she could do. I call such moments: “Blinding gifts of the obvious.” It doesn’t change the consequences of the action I took so long ago but it brings me peace. Acceptance is such a gift. As English Philosopher Roger Scruton, a man who faced many serious challenges in his life, said in his final writings, “Coming close to death you begin to know what life means and what it means is gratitude.” Read More5 Reply Kevin2 weeks agoKevinThank you, Carol, this is a wonderful, carry-through how time helps us heal and move on. Love Scruton’s quote too. Hope the Gratefulness Team picks it up and uses it on this site, too. 1 Reply Rabbit2 weeks agoRabbitThank you Kevin. You are so wise. I am grateful you take time to post on this page. 3 Reply Kevin2 weeks agoKevinThanks for your kind words, my friend. I’m not sure about wise, but I have spent a good deal of my life “throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks!” Fortunately, enough stuck along the way. But oh, those poor walls! Wishing you good Spirit and Peace, Rabbit. 1 Reply Hermann-Josef2 weeks agoHermann-JosefWhat has happened in the past has happened. In the present I have the chance to do it in a better way. I can learn to forgive , accept and evolve. If I wouldn’t have learnt something, I wouldn‘t regret. On a deeper level everything is perfect. Allways 9 Reply Carol2 weeks agoCarolYes, all is grace! 2 Reply My Private Gratitude Journal Write an entry in your private gratefulness journal Get Started This site is brought to you by A Network for Grateful Living, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit. All donations are fully tax deductible in the U.S.A. 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