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Daily Question, March 12

What can I learn from my regrets?

  • Randy Shinn

    They are just regrets…a hind sight …… “Should I been” stuff

  • Amor fati

    Pause before speaking

  • Nina

    When I reflect about my regrets, I realize that I too played a role by deciding or making certain choices. And even though I may not like the outcomes, I grew and evolved as a better person. So how can I have regret in that. I am thankful even though I still feel those regrets.

  • Jeannie

    When I construct a regret it doesn’t take long for me to realize the consequence(s) of that regret include much for which I am profoundly grateful.

  • Bob V

    What’s really important, and where my choices and actions (and results) did not align with my Truth. Sometimes you can only learn the importance of something by losing it. So, it’s a result of life teaching us or pointing out where the ego, in its pursuit of instant gratification, took actions or made choices that didn’t honor ‘what we truly treasure’. So, I can learn my Truth. Also, I can learn forgiveness – of myself. In fact, that’s the only way of letting go of the past ...

    What’s really important, and where my choices and actions (and results) did not align with my Truth. Sometimes you can only learn the importance of something by losing it. So, it’s a result of life teaching us or pointing out where the ego, in its pursuit of instant gratification, took actions or made choices that didn’t honor ‘what we truly treasure’. So, I can learn my Truth. Also, I can learn forgiveness – of myself. In fact, that’s the only way of letting go of the past and being able to move on – with the hope that next time, I’ll make a better choice.

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    • Shannon

      This is incredibly relevant to me and I am thankful that someone has the same perspective about regret as me. Thank you.

      • Bob V

        Shannon, I am really grateful for your response. I have increasingly learned that I am on this planet ‘to be of service’. I’ve also adopted a more shameless attitude of ‘shining my light’, regardless of consequences. To read that I’ve written something that has been of real value to another is incredibly ‘rewarding’ (if that is the right word). It just feels ‘wonderful’, and I’m not totally certain as to why.
        Many thanks,...

        Shannon, I am really grateful for your response. I have increasingly learned that I am on this planet ‘to be of service’. I’ve also adopted a more shameless attitude of ‘shining my light’, regardless of consequences. To read that I’ve written something that has been of real value to another is incredibly ‘rewarding’ (if that is the right word). It just feels ‘wonderful’, and I’m not totally certain as to why.
        Many thanks,

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  • Kirsten

    I think I can learn to have more confidence in myself and my decisions, stop second guessing my instincts so much. I can learn to be more present, so as not to regret times passing without me taking advantage of the moment. Make more time for people I love.

  • Tracey

    Self forgiveness and the gift of the present moment to change, do different, be different.

  • Elizabeth M Jones

    To love the people in my life because life does not last forever. To make special moments with each other, to take opportunities and to make opportunities.

  • Rita

    When I focus on an action I regret I can beat myself up, which I sometimes do, or I can see it as a learning what not do again. Beating myself up accomplishes nothing. Learning to do things differently in future helps me grow. So I guess regrets can be growing experiences.

  • Mica

    I can learn to take responsibility for my mistakes, even though they were largely the result of generations of similar mistakes, alternating in nature from generation to generation. I can let my offspring know that I acknowledge my mistakes. The harder question is: What can I do differently now, to try to bring health to an unhealthy situation that has gone on for so long? [This question is particularly appropriate for me today.]

  • Doreen Nixon

    I did everything I have ever done believing it was the best thing to do at the time. To look back with regret is to second guess myself and the lessons learned. Everything happens for a reason and who am I to question it? Am busy living in the moment to the best of my ability and ensuring myself a good future by living that way. Having regrets is a waste of time and energy. It is not something that I wish to explore because it is past and there is not a single thing I can do now about anythin...

    I did everything I have ever done believing it was the best thing to do at the time. To look back with regret is to second guess myself and the lessons learned. Everything happens for a reason and who am I to question it? Am busy living in the moment to the best of my ability and ensuring myself a good future by living that way. Having regrets is a waste of time and energy. It is not something that I wish to explore because it is past and there is not a single thing I can do now about anything that past. No regrets!

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    • Amor fati

      I can regret causing pain even if that was the way the wind blew that day.
      I do not have to beat myself up for being human.

      • Doreen Nixon

        Good for you Amor. Deal with your regrets the best way you know how. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about your own regrets with me.

  • Tom

    Of course I have regrets and would take back the measures of loss, pain, blame, etc that I have brought into the world. It is hard to admit to ourselves that it is not always us that is behaving well. Since we are human we get and give our share of pain and loss, despair and delight. To learn from regrets is to grow. Learn to be aware of ourselves. Forgive others and ourselves and move through the world with the wisdom that tells we are are all innately good.

  • Kevin Carroll

    I think it’s possible to regret something without wishing we could change it. Yes, I have regrets in life, but those experiences which induce such a feeling are a part of who I am. Without these experiences, I would not be the person I am today. Every life experience is either a blessing or a lesson.

    • Bob V

      Yes, I very much agree – we are the people that are the results of all the actions – good and bad – that we have taken. So, regret is life’s tough love teaching that make us what we are today!

    • Francine Marie Tolf

      I love that first sentence. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this thought so concisely expressed and I too believe it is true. Thank you Kevin.

  • Jeff

    You learn what doesn’t work in some cases. You learn how to learn – every mistake is a lesson learned. And you learn the fine art of letting go for forgiving yourself.

  • Pilgrim

    There are things I have regretted, and I can call them back if I dwell in that space. I try not to do that. But when something shows up, I simply remind myself that I did the best I could at the time, considering what I knew and what seemed possible. And I move toward gratefulness, for where I am now, and the grace I have received along the way – people I have met/known, opportunities that showed up along the path, and the full life I have lived thus far.

  • Anneclaire

    This is a question I am not really relating to. I do not really have regrets. I trust in a loving God, and I trust that I am one of his creations, a work in progress, and that it is inevitable that I will make mistakes. And sometimes those mistakes will result in suffering, that sometimes lasts for years. I know of nothing other to do than live the results of my mistakes. I think that then, deep in my being, I have changed and grown. And, yes, learned. Everything contains gifts …

  • Michele

    I would much rather focus on gratefulness and positivity rather than regrets. Regrets/pain/sorrow can be cyclic. Acknowledge it, then focus on happier thoughts:)

  • EP

    By moving forward with renewed patience, wisdom and forgiveness.

  • Kevin

    I have few regrets in life, but the ones I do have I think about from time to time, mainly so that they inform me moving forward in life so that I avoid the circumstances of repeating a scenario that would produce the same result. Beyond that, I try to live in the present with hopefulness for tomorrow, rather than focusing on my previous regrets, period.

  • snovik64

    I should be grateful and recognise them as warningsigns reminding me that due to circumstances it is sometimes inevitable to act below ones moral standard. And hence forgiving one self, and others doing the the same.

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