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Daily Question, April 12

What are some lessons I have learned from elders in my life?

  • Dominica
    Overall, a lesson I've learned from knowing many, many elder humans is that age alone doesn't guarantee happiness, contentment, or the (outward suggestion of) wisdom. We have to cultivate that and make it a habit. Otherwise, we can easily end up with a lifetime of inertia of habits of other mind patterns which bring a lot less happiness. My one surviving grandparent, my maternal grandmother, is a wonderful example of someone who has cultivated joy, acceptance, love, and gratitude and so now i...

    Overall, a lesson I’ve learned from knowing many, many elder humans is that age alone doesn’t guarantee happiness, contentment, or the (outward suggestion of) wisdom. We have to cultivate that and make it a habit. Otherwise, we can easily end up with a lifetime of inertia of habits of other mind patterns which bring a lot less happiness. My one surviving grandparent, my maternal grandmother, is a wonderful example of someone who has cultivated joy, acceptance, love, and gratitude and so now in her 90’s she truly radiates that. I see her as an example of how I’d like to be at that age, but I know that isn’t a given… I need to practice it now!

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  • Malag

    Play the long game. Put effort in over time to get results – not always looking for immediate gratification

  • Ose

    These come to mind:
    To take care of everything; be kind and be true; to be present; to let go of or to transform unhealthy habits; to change perspective into a “glass half full”; to respond instead of react; deeply grateful for the manifold offered support to those concerned and to all of you who share here.

  • Beatrice

    I have learnt that an empty vessel makes a lot of noise, thus i should listen more and Talk less. I should appreciate everything and be grateful to everyone

    • Ose

      Still – nothing inside;
      empty forms chiming soundless
      Easter bells – welcome!

  • Hot Sauce
    1. The lazy person works twice as hard. 2. If you want to be happier despite the challenges in life, learn to reframe your thoughts about those challenges. 3. If a person comes to you with a minor challenge in a pastoral care situation, listen to them, ask them what they feel their options are, and don't try to tell them what to do. If they come to you with a crisis, then advice-giving may be warranted. 4. If you try to be forgiving of others, they will generally reciprocate and be lenient...

    1. The lazy person works twice as hard.
    2. If you want to be happier despite the challenges in life, learn to reframe your thoughts about those challenges.
    3. If a person comes to you with a minor challenge in a pastoral care situation, listen to them, ask them what they feel their options are, and don’t try to tell them what to do. If they come to you with a crisis, then advice-giving may be warranted.
    4. If you try to be forgiving of others, they will generally reciprocate and be lenient when you make a mistake.
    5. Even if you believe in a soul, that is not a good reason to devalue the body, especially when ideologies that devalue the body have been used to commit all kinds of atrocities against marginalized people.

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  • Linda

    Be kind.

  • Kylie Watson

    I have learned that everything happens for a reason and to just enjoy everything life has to offer! Be grateful and happy.

  • Hermann-Josef

    stay calm and peaceful. We will see what happens. Take your time

  • Diane
    My maternal grandmother lived with us and helped raise me. Without words, my sweet little Italian "nana" taught me more about unconditional love than anyone in my life. My brother is 3 years younger than me, but I consider him an elder...indeed he is an elder in his church. He taught me to "stay in my own lane" and to "let Go and let God".....both of these setiments have been a source of healing for me. And then there are the elders in my life who I have never met. Too many to name but one s...

    My maternal grandmother lived with us and helped raise me. Without words, my sweet little Italian “nana” taught me more about unconditional love than anyone in my life. My brother is 3 years younger than me, but I consider him an elder…indeed he is an elder in his church. He taught me to “stay in my own lane” and to “let Go and let God”…..both of these setiments have been a source of healing for me. And then there are the elders in my life who I have never met. Too many to name but one stands out. Henri Nouwen taught me that I am the Beloved. And that knowing has made all the difference.
    Have a blessed day everyone ♥

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  • dragonfly

    Kindness is the solution to many challenges, very few material goods are needed to be happy and time is precious, use it wisely.

  • alara

    I don’t know what’s in their hearts and minds. I know that I want to stay curious, appreciative and having experiences of pure gratitude.

  • Dusty Su

    It’s a long game. Pace yourself.
    On the other hand, especially from the dying. Don’t waste time on the trivial problems, the small hurts, love is what matters most.

  • Carol
    "It doesn't matter how the Jack Ass got in the ditch. You just have to find a way to get him out." "Tears are not always sadness. Many times they are anger." "April showers bring May flowers." "A penny for your thoughts." "The opposite of fear isn't courage. It's love." "Keep it simple, Stupid!" "You can't live on What Ifs" "What is IS." "Don't turn a situation into a problem." "Go with the flow." "There is a part of you that has never been afraid. Call it forth." "Be the Peace you se...

    “It doesn’t matter how the Jack Ass got in the ditch. You just have to find a way to get him out.”
    “Tears are not always sadness. Many times they are anger.”
    “April showers bring May flowers.”
    “A penny for your thoughts.”
    “The opposite of fear isn’t courage. It’s love.”
    “Keep it simple, Stupid!”
    “You can’t live on What Ifs”
    “What is IS.”
    “Don’t turn a situation into a problem.”
    “Go with the flow.”
    “There is a part of you that has never been afraid. Call it forth.”
    “Be the Peace you seek.”
    “What do you know for sure, anyway?”

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    • pkr

      Carol, thank you for all this wisdom. Love them All. Have a joy filled day.❤️🌼🌸

    • Mica

      Thank you, Carol – ‘jackass’ pulled me in! My mother was fond of Keep it simple, Stupid, but I thought she should omit the Stupid part, because she suffered so from negative feelings already! Fear – love = another great one 🙂 and Situation – problem 🙂 and, the final one reminds us that we can’t foretell the future. Warm wishes to you –

  • carol

    a difficult one– greet harm, cruelty, theft, etc with forgiveness
    welcome everyone into your home
    be thoughtful of the well being of others
    be wary of institutionalisation
    help when you can

  • Laura

    I heard, “This too shall pass,” frequently from my mom whenever I railed about difficult circumstances.
    I also like, “The best things in life aren’t things.” Saw that on a wise and elder bumper sticker several years ago. 😉

  • Pilgrim
    Since I would be considered an elder at this point, I have a long backward glance at the wisdom that has been passed on to me. One I remember hearing a lot is "waste not, want not," passed along from the Grandmothers and then Mom & Dad. I also learned that there is a song for everything ... in my musical families, someone was always busting out in song for any occasion. A simple word brings a memory, and then someone is singing and others join in if they are around. Still happens. From my...

    Since I would be considered an elder at this point, I have a long backward glance at the wisdom that has been passed on to me. One I remember hearing a lot is “waste not, want not,” passed along from the Grandmothers and then Mom & Dad.
    I also learned that there is a song for everything … in my musical families, someone was always busting out in song for any occasion. A simple word brings a memory, and then someone is singing and others join in if they are around. Still happens.
    From my grandmother, a can of tomato soup can go a long way and be used for many things. And leave some room in the garden to grow flowers and not just vegetables. Her Zinnias were extraordinary.
    Importantly, be kind, listen well and fully, love much. We only get one life.

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    • pkr

      Thank you Pilgrim for all this wisdom you are sharing today and have shared on this site. I appreciate you & your wise words & thoughts. Thank you kindly. Many blessings to you on this beautiful spring day.🙏❤️🌸🌷🙏

      • Pilgrim

        Thank you so much for your kind words, pkr. It has been a beautiful spring day here, as well. Glorious! I had an unexpected walk between loads of laundry that made such a difference in my day.

    • Diane

      Dear friend….as always, your words are wisdom to me. Thank you for sharing all these years.
      “Be kind” reminds me of the infinetly wise elder the Dalai Lama who said “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindess”.
      ~Blessings ♥

      • Pilgrim

        The deep wisdom, my Friend, from those who have prepared the path and invited us in. How blessed are we?!

        I see the green leaves of bulbs coming up all over my new back yard now. I can’t wait to see which flowers they belong to. It is a blessing to see these signs of spring … it was a long winter here!
        Blessings to you and your family.

    • Mica

      Thanks, Pilgrim – then there’s also “Things need Things,” which my husband was fond of quoting from his grandmother.

    • Carol

      Music, Music, Music…the universal language!

  • EJP

    Live simply. Give more. Expect less and enjoy every moment.

  • Christine

    That life lessons are more valuable than gold.
    You reap what you sow.

  • Carla

    I’ve been taught “to listen more and talk less;” “God’s Grace and Love is always there;” and “the Wisdom of Sophia IS your intuition.”

  • Kevin
    "Becoming a minister is both a blessing and a burden." Jim Toothaker, Friend and early mentor. From Penelope, a 93 year old Quaker elder many years ago: “You get to a certain point in life and it’s snip, stitch, patch, and go!” From a pastor and therapist who worked with addicts and former inmates: “It doesn’t matter what color you paint your God, just get one.” “Have thy tools ready. God will find thee work.” - Reverend Charles Kingsley, England, 1834. And speaking ...

    “Becoming a minister is both a blessing and a burden.” Jim Toothaker, Friend and early mentor.

    From Penelope, a 93 year old Quaker elder many years ago: “You get to a certain point in life and it’s snip, stitch, patch, and go!”

    From a pastor and therapist who worked with addicts and former inmates: “It doesn’t matter what color you paint your God, just get one.”

    “Have thy tools ready. God will find thee work.” – Reverend Charles Kingsley, England, 1834.

    And speaking of God, today’s Word For the Day by Avis Crow, is one of my favorite quotes of all time. However, while I understand why Gratefulness altered the quote for the purposes and mission of this site, they omitted the two most important words, “Dear God,” which in my view anchor the entire passage. The full quote is:
    “ Dear God, help me to be less fearful of the measure of time, and more fully alive in the time that simply is. Help me to live time, not just to simply use it; to breathe it in, and return it in acts of love and presence.”

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    • Mica

      Thanks, Kevin, for giving the full quote for today. I appreciate gratefulness’s quote, which welcomes a larger audience. [What about Dear Goddess, for example? 🙂 ]

      • Kevin

        “Dear Goddess” works too! I’ve always read that particular quote as a petition of sorts, which in my mind at least needed an anchor, so the reader would know to whom the request is being made.

        • Mica

          Thanks – I see your point – the quote was new to me, but indeed it is a petition and needs to be addressed to someone 🙂

    • Pilgrim

      Thank you, Kevin, for opening up the full quote by Avis Crow and offering the other words of wisdom.

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