Toward what person can I open my heart, and make a needed difference for both of us?

One of the most difficult aspects especially in relation with men I carried with me was the tendency either to grasp at the ones I felt close to or I behaved like a hedgehog, setting all inside ready to sting when being approached, which was probably even written on my face when being approached too close…

For a long time I was not aware of it, only through dear people whom I trusted and who were reflecting this to me, it became very clear. I feel deeply grateful towards them for their courage, faith and patience to stay with me, mirroring this and wanting to help me in this despite my possible inner aggressive tendency, which could all of a sudden appear and really could hurt.

Through their undeserved friendship, it became clearer what would be my behavioral part of why closer inner contact with men in general was so difficult. Both traits had the same source, which was unresolved pain, disappointment, reactive grudge and fixed resentment towards my father, rooted in my childhood. Since short, I can see the red thread and what made it so imperative for me to behave either/or, and both ways fixed and often highly inadequate.

It is about forgiving, of letting go of pain, disappointment and grudge towards him. Can I open my heart towards him? Yes, I can open up. It is work in progress now. With deep gratitude to you, dear Gratefulness-team, for this question.