It wasn’t the words but the look I received and still receive. My neighbor and friend has an autistic son, older than high school age. I have gotten to know him a little through helping in my work’s basketball program. Last year I walked over to chat while he was shooting baskets at his house. He stopped walked over and gave me a hug. His mom was in shock, he rarely hugs anyone. The look of gratitude in her eyes for seeing his hug was so powerful. He hugs me almost every time he sees me, which is such a gift to me but my words of thanks doesn’t match the thanks in his mom’s smile.
My children for sure and recently my daughter wrote me a beautiful note of thanks. I am also known for helping friends and family with Health insurance Benefits and 401K and they are always thankful. Also, I have helped many co-workers into a different career paths and growth. It is very rewarding in itself to me. No official thanks needed, just to witness their growth for me is awesome!
I am sure that there are many, but the one that immediately comes to mind I pass multiple times every day – it hangs on the wall outside the bathroom. It is a plaque with the Reinhold Niebuhr Serenity prayer, “Lord, give me the courage to accept the things I can change, the serenity to accept the things I can’t and the wisdom to know the difference.” It was given by a friend whom I sponsored for membership into the Episcopal Church.
The other that stands out was the occasion of the NYC Transit (think subways and busses) Christmas party. (My husband worked for them.) I met up with a former student from CUNY. where I had taught, who had ended up as head of the control center where all the computers that run the subways are located. He said, “Thank you, Professor. You got me started in computers.”
I was a student advisor in a college engineering program. Most of our students were male, and I learned a lot from them. One time a student said he needed to talk with me. He was an older student and struggling with some of the difficult coursework. He came into my office, sat down, and started crying. He never said anything at all, he just wept. I sat with him and let him release all of the feelings. After about half an hour, he got up and left. I know how hard that was for him, and I felt honored that he came to me. When he left, his eyes reflected his thanks. We never spoke a word but communicated in the most important way–through feelings.
A beautiful story, Linda. If more men could learn to cry, they would be better off and the world a better place.
I used to listen to a very wise psychologist name of Armand deMille who said: “If men could cry we would have no wars” and “tears are the sweat of the heart.”
This is a good exercise. I tend to
remember all the thankless things.
I have received thanks from former
employees. This really means a lot to
me, as I sacrificed (and was rewarded)
for so many years.
One employee in particular, who
stepped up when I really needed it.
His actions were so selfless and such
an act of thanks. There’s nothing quite
like an act being returned in kind.
About 10 years ago, during a difficult time in my workplace, I wrote a thank-you note to our leader who was doing a fabulous job leading us through a difficult transition. The next day I received an email from them saying that while we don’t usually “write a thank-you note for a thank you”, they felt compelled to respond because that thank-you message and recognition of their hard work came at the end of a very very difficult day when they were particularly down about their work and the acknowledgement made them feel so much better. I’ve carried that with me as a reminder of the importance of expressing our gratitude to those doing really difficult leadership work that can go unrecognized and unsupported.
Each of my daughters has thanked me in their own way over the years as they have become adults. Recently my younger daughter recorded a wonderful message of gratitude for the way I raised her and how she hears herself passing on things she learned from me to friends who didn’t get those insights from their parents. I listened to it more than once and may listen to it again today.
This question reminded me of another expression of thanks from someone who asked for my advice on being a woman professional in our mostly male agency. She wanted to know if she could be her full self and succeed. Some of her behaviors she described weren’t working for her and I shared my reactions and some practices for her to consider. I was honest about some of the challenges she faced when she framed things as confrontations that didn’t have to be. It was an emotional conversation; she was in a lot of pain. She ended up deciding to take a position elsewhere. I saw her recently at an event and she absolutely gushed about what a difference I had made in her career. I hadn’t only told her the easy things; I had said the hard things too. I took away the reminder that it’s kind to be clear.
Straight information is not always easy to swallow but is so desperately needed and it is very different from criticism. I’m sure that young woman has sent loving and thankful energy your many times since the day you shared your experience with her.
In the early 1970’s I was a volunteer entertainer with the New Orleans Recreation Department and we put on shows in mental hospitals, rest homes, and assisted living facilities. After the show at one mental health facility, a young woman approached me with tears streaming down her face. She said, “My counselor has been telling me for weeks that I need to cry but I have not been able to cry until now, until you sang to us this evening.” Then she smiled through her tears and said, “Thank you.” I can still see her face and feel her sincerity. At another performance in a rest home, an elderly woman approached me after the show and with a deep and pronounced southern accent, she said, “Your voice is lovely but I appreciate your ‘figure’ the most!” Well that figure is long gone but the compliment lives on! Also, I must say, I have received many memorable expressions of thanks and messages of support from our Daily Question community. For all of you and your willingness to be vulnerable, I am most grateful. You are some of my most valued teachers.
Thank you Carol for your beautiful and inspiring post every day. I look forward to learning from you and all the people that so generously share on this site. I am grateful!
I have been in the education field all my life. At present, I tutor dyslexic students. I have received many expressions of “thank you” throughout the years. The ones I carry with me is when they still stay in contact and tell me their progress. I am so thankful I have given that person a new lease on life and opened their world to the impossible and thus I carry in a special way.
YRAM, Your work is a special work, I have a child and a grandchild who are dyslexic. There challenges are many. Thank you for being there for these youngsters.
Being married to Ngoc Nguyen for almost 4 years is an expression of thanks I carry. Not every man with autism or any forms of mental illnesses can say the same. It’s even harder for the traditional asian ones like me to have that in today’s society.
I don’t have a specific expression, but I hold onto the feeling I get when I receive one. This inspires me to continue spreading kindness. Whether it’s an email, a smile from someone, a text message, or spoken words, the feeling of receiving these expressions is always beautiful.
That’s an interesting question. Last Friday, I received a voicemail from a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. She had bumped into a former client of mine now who is in his late 80s. He thanked me, profusely, for my years as his yoga instructor. He let her know in detail how much he appreciated my time and professionalism, and that he carried the techniques with him to this day. I saved the voicemail on my answering machine and I’ve listened to it a few times. It really made my day.
I can’t recall a specific example, but I know there have been times that I have appreciated deeply the thanks given to me. Maybe I have trouble remembering because I am more likely to minimize thanks from someone, telling myself that I was just being a friend or just doing my job. I am trying to spot that sort of thinking sooner rather than later. Expose it to the light, so to speak, and let the light dry it up.
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It wasn’t the words but the look I received and still receive. My neighbor and friend has an autistic son, older than high school age. I have gotten to know him a little through helping in my work’s basketball program. Last year I walked over to chat while he was shooting baskets at his house. He stopped walked over and gave me a hug. His mom was in shock, he rarely hugs anyone. The look of gratitude in her eyes for seeing his hug was so powerful. He hugs me almost every time he sees me, which is such a gift to me but my words of thanks doesn’t match the thanks in his mom’s smile.
My children for sure and recently my daughter wrote me a beautiful note of thanks. I am also known for helping friends and family with Health insurance Benefits and 401K and they are always thankful. Also, I have helped many co-workers into a different career paths and growth. It is very rewarding in itself to me. No official thanks needed, just to witness their growth for me is awesome!
I am sure that there are many, but the one that immediately comes to mind I pass multiple times every day – it hangs on the wall outside the bathroom. It is a plaque with the Reinhold Niebuhr Serenity prayer, “Lord, give me the courage to accept the things I can change, the serenity to accept the things I can’t and the wisdom to know the difference.” It was given by a friend whom I sponsored for membership into the Episcopal Church.
The other that stands out was the occasion of the NYC Transit (think subways and busses) Christmas party. (My husband worked for them.) I met up with a former student from CUNY. where I had taught, who had ended up as head of the control center where all the computers that run the subways are located. He said, “Thank you, Professor. You got me started in computers.”
I was a student advisor in a college engineering program. Most of our students were male, and I learned a lot from them. One time a student said he needed to talk with me. He was an older student and struggling with some of the difficult coursework. He came into my office, sat down, and started crying. He never said anything at all, he just wept. I sat with him and let him release all of the feelings. After about half an hour, he got up and left. I know how hard that was for him, and I felt honored that he came to me. When he left, his eyes reflected his thanks. We never spoke a word but communicated in the most important way–through feelings.
A beautiful story, Linda. If more men could learn to cry, they would be better off and the world a better place.
I used to listen to a very wise psychologist name of Armand deMille who said: “If men could cry we would have no wars” and “tears are the sweat of the heart.”
This is a good exercise. I tend to
remember all the thankless things.
I have received thanks from former
employees. This really means a lot to
me, as I sacrificed (and was rewarded)
for so many years.
One employee in particular, who
stepped up when I really needed it.
His actions were so selfless and such
an act of thanks. There’s nothing quite
like an act being returned in kind.
About 10 years ago, during a difficult time in my workplace, I wrote a thank-you note to our leader who was doing a fabulous job leading us through a difficult transition. The next day I received an email from them saying that while we don’t usually “write a thank-you note for a thank you”, they felt compelled to respond because that thank-you message and recognition of their hard work came at the end of a very very difficult day when they were particularly down about their work and the acknowledgement made them feel so much better. I’ve carried that with me as a reminder of the importance of expressing our gratitude to those doing really difficult leadership work that can go unrecognized and unsupported.
So true.
Beautiful
Each of my daughters has thanked me in their own way over the years as they have become adults. Recently my younger daughter recorded a wonderful message of gratitude for the way I raised her and how she hears herself passing on things she learned from me to friends who didn’t get those insights from their parents. I listened to it more than once and may listen to it again today.
This question reminded me of another expression of thanks from someone who asked for my advice on being a woman professional in our mostly male agency. She wanted to know if she could be her full self and succeed. Some of her behaviors she described weren’t working for her and I shared my reactions and some practices for her to consider. I was honest about some of the challenges she faced when she framed things as confrontations that didn’t have to be. It was an emotional conversation; she was in a lot of pain. She ended up deciding to take a position elsewhere. I saw her recently at an event and she absolutely gushed about what a difference I had made in her career. I hadn’t only told her the easy things; I had said the hard things too. I took away the reminder that it’s kind to be clear.
Straight information is not always easy to swallow but is so desperately needed and it is very different from criticism. I’m sure that young woman has sent loving and thankful energy your many times since the day you shared your experience with her.
“Thank you for being kind and nice to me Daddy.” from my daughter when she was 4yrs old. She’s now 6 going on 16 🙂
A kind Daddy is very important in a daughter’s life.
In the early 1970’s I was a volunteer entertainer with the New Orleans Recreation Department and we put on shows in mental hospitals, rest homes, and assisted living facilities. After the show at one mental health facility, a young woman approached me with tears streaming down her face. She said, “My counselor has been telling me for weeks that I need to cry but I have not been able to cry until now, until you sang to us this evening.” Then she smiled through her tears and said, “Thank you.” I can still see her face and feel her sincerity. At another performance in a rest home, an elderly woman approached me after the show and with a deep and pronounced southern accent, she said, “Your voice is lovely but I appreciate your ‘figure’ the most!” Well that figure is long gone but the compliment lives on! Also, I must say, I have received many memorable expressions of thanks and messages of support from our Daily Question community. For all of you and your willingness to be vulnerable, I am most grateful. You are some of my most valued teachers.
Thank you dear Carol.
How special, thank you for sharing!
Thank you Carol for your beautiful and inspiring post every day. I look forward to learning from you and all the people that so generously share on this site. I am grateful!
This is beautiful, and it warms my heart. Thank you for sharing, Carol.
I have been in the education field all my life. At present, I tutor dyslexic students. I have received many expressions of “thank you” throughout the years. The ones I carry with me is when they still stay in contact and tell me their progress. I am so thankful I have given that person a new lease on life and opened their world to the impossible and thus I carry in a special way.
YRAM, Your work is a special work, I have a child and a grandchild who are dyslexic. There challenges are many. Thank you for being there for these youngsters.
Being married to Ngoc Nguyen for almost 4 years is an expression of thanks I carry. Not every man with autism or any forms of mental illnesses can say the same. It’s even harder for the traditional asian ones like me to have that in today’s society.
I’m enjoying seeing the relationship between the two of you here, Loc. You’re lucky to have each other.
I don’t have a specific expression, but I hold onto the feeling I get when I receive one. This inspires me to continue spreading kindness. Whether it’s an email, a smile from someone, a text message, or spoken words, the feeling of receiving these expressions is always beautiful.
That’s an interesting question. Last Friday, I received a voicemail from a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. She had bumped into a former client of mine now who is in his late 80s. He thanked me, profusely, for my years as his yoga instructor. He let her know in detail how much he appreciated my time and professionalism, and that he carried the techniques with him to this day. I saved the voicemail on my answering machine and I’ve listened to it a few times. It really made my day.
My 3 kids – not everyone can have children and I am thankful I have mine.
I can’t recall a specific example, but I know there have been times that I have appreciated deeply the thanks given to me. Maybe I have trouble remembering because I am more likely to minimize thanks from someone, telling myself that I was just being a friend or just doing my job. I am trying to spot that sort of thinking sooner rather than later. Expose it to the light, so to speak, and let the light dry it up.