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Daily Question, May 13

If I take full responsibility for my part in any difficulties, how might this change my experience of the day?

  • Mary Anne

    It is my job to be active, not to choose waiting, especially when others are waiting for me! It is easier when I consider that is what is asked of me, to engage here, and then next, and next . . . .

  • Randy Shinn

    It shows me that I cannot blame others for the difficulties….which makes me accept them and push on through them gratefully

  • Ginny in Vermont
    The book "Difficult Conversations" encourages everyone to reflect on their contribution to a any given conflict or difficult situation. I have found this to be a challenging practice, but, as with most practices, one that gets easier over time. Yesterday I was part of a minor conflict among friends which presented more between two other friends. I realized that my perpetual "niceness" was actually a contributing factor to their anger with one another -- but only "a" factor, we can't let our egos...

    The book “Difficult Conversations” encourages everyone to reflect on their contribution to a any given conflict or difficult situation. I have found this to be a challenging practice, but, as with most practices, one that gets easier over time. Yesterday I was part of a minor conflict among friends which presented more between two other friends. I realized that my perpetual “niceness” was actually a contributing factor to their anger with one another — but only “a” factor, we can’t let our egos get away with taking all the credit, even if it is something negative! Anyway, this realization did help me be more compassionate with each of them, and helped me help them understand the other’s point of view better.

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  • Ose
    If I am honest, I must say that despite the caring nature, which I feel is true, there was also resentment towards people, Deep inside a i kind of refusal to really become engaged with others. An antagonism, and a kind of underlying resentment to love, which led to much difficulty and decisions that cut me off from being connected. I can only acknowledge it, and it is my heart´s longing to apologize towards the ones concerned, who jumped into the gap I left and to be deeply grateful that they d...

    If I am honest, I must say that despite the caring nature, which I feel is true, there was also resentment towards people, Deep inside a i kind of refusal to really become engaged with others. An antagonism, and a kind of underlying resentment to love, which led to much difficulty and decisions that cut me off from being connected. I can only acknowledge it, and it is my heart´s longing to apologize towards the ones concerned, who jumped into the gap I left and to be deeply grateful that they did, in order to let things go on properly when I refused to take full responsibility due to an unripe, ego-centered state of mind and emotions. And I can only say that I hope to do better concerning taking my responsibility in the future.
    I have no idea if and how this could change my day, but this is what I feel I need to reply to this question, for which I am grateful also. Thank you all.

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  • Jo McD
    If I can take responsibility for my part, then I am not defending myself and can look to bring a solution rather than a blame focus to a problem. If I accept that I make mistakes or am lacking in an area, then I can look for how to rectify or improve in an area. It also allows others to take responsibility for their part too, but the fear is that they will accept our admission rather than offer one of theirs. But we still “win” for ourselves, because we have been true with ourselves and c...

    If I can take responsibility for my part, then I am not defending myself and can look to bring a solution rather than a blame focus to a problem. If I accept that I make mistakes or am lacking in an area, then I can look for how to rectify or improve in an area. It also allows others to take responsibility for their part too, but the fear is that they will accept our admission rather than offer one of theirs. But we still “win” for ourselves, because we have been true with ourselves and can leave the other person’s conscience to take its own journey. We are not responsible for their journey.

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  • Bob V

    What a fascinating question. By difficulties I mean anything I (being the king of my domain) deign difficult, whether its a task, and illness, a troubling situation. I can say that they are ‘real’, but they are all ‘made up’, by me, by my definition. If I see myself as the master of the definition (which I am), I can choose to see things differently! Perhaps as a learning experience, etc. Sadly, I often forget to do that! To err is human, to forgive is divine!

  • Hot Sauce

    Sometimes, I do create difficulties for myself, but I take full responsibility, not to blame myself, but to thank myself. I often have trouble with deep existential questions that can put me in difficult places, but this is who I am, and I simply know that I need to work with my questions little steps at a time and know that I am the one who has chosen to wrestle with them, and that is okay. It is now up to me to continue seeking and finish what I started.

  • Elizabeth M Jones

    I will forgive myself and I will take responsibility for the situation.

  • GCharlotte

    If I take full responsibilites in any of my part in difficulties the outcome of the day I would have a higher self esteem , a boost in morale, a sense of self achievement and gratitude for God within me.

  • Jeana

    Taking responsibility means owning your power. Deciding that ‘problems’ are caused by other people or circumstances makes us victims. How successful are we at controlling others? How much real influence do we have over circumstances? Owning your part is where you can make changes, and fix things for the better. Yay!

  • Francine Marie Tolf

    It will absolutely make my day better! I will stand up taller, I will laugh more, I will be more thankful that I can see my own shortcomings.
    I honestly find that at the bottom of any anger toward a situation or person……is almost invariably anger at myself! – for not speaking up as I should, for being lazy, for taking the easy way out.
    It’s humbling how often and how easily I blame others. I’ll try to catch myself doing it today (but I’ll probably forget).

  • Sunny

    It allows me to examine any resentment, fear, anger, jealousy, pity and any other feeling and emotion which in turn gets me out of the negative / closed state and maybe into one that is more open, loving and joyful.

  • Carla

    Being responsible for ‘me’ and all my actions has led me to stay on my side of the street & have better boundaries. In addition to that it’s led me to clean up ‘my’ side of the street in a more timely manner. I do not do this perfectly at all but I’ve made progress towards it over the years.

  • Wiltrud

    It’s a change of perspective which opens the heart and gives a lesson in humility….when I can focus and not brabble(right word?)with others
    about the difficulties on and on.

  • Michele

    It acknowledges honesty and character. One can move on knowing you did your best.

  • Sarah

    Taking responsibility for my part in difficulties as they arise results in spiritual growth and release from resentments. The only person I can change is me.

  • Christina

    I’m having troubles with a dear friend. I attributed qualities to her she doesn’t have. This was my part. My part now is to set appropriate boundaries, internal and external (if I can.) This is the hard part. But the other just hurts too much.

    • Butterfly

      Hi Christina
      You make a very good point. Sometimes we just expect more from someone than they can live up to and we are left hurt and confused. I hope you can find a way through this and find a place of peace again. With love x

  • Kevin

    It means that we bring whatever difficulties arise to their full and honest conclusion. (Isn’t that a nice, tidy statement? I like it, and I sure as heck don’t always get there!)

    • Jeana

      Right Kevin. When we are honest with ourselves (taking responsibility) then we can be honest with others – and whatever goes down after that, will (theoretically) have an ‘outcome’ . This is better than having dysfunctional issues drag on for years, without change . Conclusions may not be tidy, but with the ending of illusions, a space is created for something new. It takes courage to do this. Many choose to stay stuck.

    • Sarah

      Exactly! Honesty is the core!

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