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Daily Question, March 6

How might I approach life with fewer assumptions or expectations?

  • GCharlotte

    I might take life as I do by the moment without assumptions about expectations for the days even months and years.

  • Present Moment

    Practice, practice, practice bringing myself back to present moment. It is the only place I live and neither assumptions or expectations make any sense there.

  • Tahsin Tabassum

    I can’t

  • Malag

    This is the hardest practice of all for me and is central to anything that may make me anxious and how I may relate to it. “Fewer expectations” for me comes down to not expecting things to be other than they are. A frequent expectation for me is that things should be as I want them to be. May I and anyone else who experiences this be able to bridge that gap to acceptance.

  • Palm

    Good question for me at the moment. Thank you, your answers are helpful. They point me towards curiosity and letting go.
    Assumptions: is what I’m thinking really true?
    Expectations: Angel Kyodo Williams says that love is spaciousness, or to let others be who they are. To recognise that behind people’s behaviours there may be suffering, if we trust in the human heart. I can start from this point of view, to accept differences. I will need practice on this one.

    • Thank you Palm, because your words are like a balm, in a moment of a great challenge with my choir group. I will need practice and I am so happy to walk with you.

      • Palm

        Oh Anna, your words are a balm too at the moment, thank you from my heart for walking with me

  • Javier Visionquest

    Expectations are an integral part of the process of manifestation, assumptions are an inherent aspect of the human condition challenging us to further awaken to a clearer understanding. Rather than allowing them to upset our ego-backed sense of correctness perhaps it’s a matter of learning to use our expectations and assumptions to these ends rather than being used by them, all the while staying present and open for a surprise resolution!

  • Ose

    I suppose this might be a matter of balance. To stay centered, allowing joy and gratitude to be with me right where I am, leaving space for what is meant to be.

  • Cailinrua
    This is a tough one. Thanks for the posts below which help me begin to think about it. My life at the moment, in retirement, is a lot different and a lot harder than what I had imagined it would be. I am changing though as I learn to accept it, but there is always that feeling of "what happened here.?" Why did I let it go so wrong? Some of it was stuff I could control (if I had been emotionally up to the task) --it wasn't a natural disaster--so I'm being forced inside to re-evaluate. It'...

    This is a tough one. Thanks for the posts below which help me begin to think about it. My life at the moment, in retirement, is a lot different and a lot harder than what I had imagined it would be. I am changing though as I learn to accept it, but there is always that feeling of “what happened here.?” Why did I let it go so wrong?
    Some of it was stuff I could control (if I had been emotionally up to the task) –it wasn’t a natural disaster–so I’m being forced inside to re-evaluate. It’s a struggle every day.

    Read More
  • reality

    Living closer to nature would help most with that; i.m.h.o.. 🙂 reality

  • Dawn Noel

    With humility and by believing in myself & my connectedness to the great mystery, that enfolds us. Also by abandoning myself to a sense of wonder and gratitude, trusting in them to carry me through with grace.

  • TeriB

    Being more present, living in the moment rather than the past or future might help me approach life with fewer assumptions or expectations. It seems I am always striving for or counting on something that will happen in the future or reliving the best parts of my past. I need to focus on the journey and begin to appreciate every step on my way and by doing this so much more may open up to me.

  • BabaYaga

    Replacing my habitual pessimism with a wait-and-see attitude. How do I know how things will turn out? I just might be surprised!

  • Katrina
    I thank you all for your help with this one. It is the bane of my existence. As I retired I had great expectations for travel and exploration, only to discover many ways these would or could not be realized the way I had imagined. I have been sorely disappointed and depressed. I have now tried to realign my assumptions and expectations about everything - relationships, finances, my own health as well as that of others, and even our current national and world condition, so that I can find joy in ...

    I thank you all for your help with this one. It is the bane of my existence. As I retired I had great expectations for travel and exploration, only to discover many ways these would or could not be realized the way I had imagined. I have been sorely disappointed and depressed. I have now tried to realign my assumptions and expectations about everything – relationships, finances, my own health as well as that of others, and even our current national and world condition, so that I can find joy in where I am, without being too disappointed about not realizing some life-long dreams. It is a work in progress, with the help of prayer, this community, other meditations and trying to find new hobbies and interests. Thank you all for your constant faithfulness.

    Read More
    • Gypsy

      yes, new interests – what else will you explore as you painfully shed your expectations [OUCH] Tell us some things that you are going to delve into, and why.
      [If it helps, I am a shut-in with a giant and thrilling world at my fingertips – heh – and brilliant sunlight outside my window, so it CAN be done!!]

  • Hunter

    I might start by not checking the “news” compulsively! I certainly do NOT know what will happen next, and that has always been the case. And as people have been saying, there is so much that is simply out of our control, which is. . . a good thing!

  • Carla

    By continuing to trust & grow in the ability to say I AM in the right place at the right time. Emphasis is on the “am”, whether it’s my location in a driving intersection or who surrounds me in the grocery store. Letting go of my need to control my external locations & actions has allowed me to “be” more in the moments of life.

  • Cathy
    I find my approach to life much more smooth when I can look at things with a sense of curiosity instead of judgment. I am working to change my thought patterns from: “This is bad.” to “I wonder why I feel like this is wrong? Why do I get that sense of bad from it?” or even “Oh wow, this is so good!” to ” I wonder why I feel so excited about this thing?” I find the sense of expectation fades into the background as I take the time and energy to look at something from all side...

    I find my approach to life much more smooth when I can look at things with a sense of curiosity instead of judgment.

    I am working to change my thought patterns from: “This is bad.” to “I wonder why I feel like this is wrong? Why do I get that sense of bad from it?”

    or even “Oh wow, this is so good!” to ” I wonder why I feel so excited about this thing?”

    I find the sense of expectation fades into the background as I take the time and energy to look at something from all sides.

    Read More
  • Trish

    Prayer, meditation & remaining open to God’s plan are the healthiest tools for me to use for a happy life. I’ve tried to control my environment, to include people & it leads to tension and disappointment. When I find myself controlling I remind myself of the mysteries of life. It’s all gonna work out in the end…..

  • Michele

    I might approach life with fewer assumptions or expectations by not having any or lower them. Having high expectations only leaves you with disappointment for the most part I found.

    • Katrina

      That is what I don’t want to do, Michele. There are things I want to do now that I am retired and I don’t want to lower my expectations. That would be leaving me with disappointment and maybe regret as well.

      • Michele

        Good for you! I was referring mostly to people, not things you want to do.

  • devy
    By not letting the actions of others define my mood. By trying to focus on the present, especially when my mind wanders into « what if » mode which often brings negative thoughts forward which n turn brings anxiety’s ugly head to the surface. When it does come me up I remind myself that I cant control everything in my life and as the title in an old Dorisg Day song « que sera, sera »::what ever will be will be comes to me.. we can’t assume what the future is.. often if I assume it wi...

    By not letting the actions of others define my mood. By trying to focus on the present, especially when my mind wanders into « what if » mode which often brings negative thoughts forward which n turn brings anxiety’s ugly head to the surface. When it does come me up I remind myself that I cant control everything in my life and as the title in an old Dorisg Day song « que sera, sera »::what ever will be will be comes to me.. we can’t assume what the future is.. often if I assume it will make an ass out of me..it never happens..no need for unwanted negative energy

    Read More
  • Kevin

    How might I approach life with fewer assumptions or expectations? For me, this one is easy: By stopping approaching life with unreasonable assumptions and unachievable expectations.

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