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Daily Question, December 26

How does listening to others create possibility?

  • Ed Schulte
    No better source for this to be described then the ancient wisdom Cast Hexagram: 61 - Sixty-One Chung Fu / Inner Truth SITUATION ANALYSIS: The subject of this hexagram discovers a key to Tranquility by first gaining insight into his own nature, then turning that vision outward. By resolving inner conflicts and being at peace with himself, he learns to gain insight into others. In effect, he enters another, sees with the other's eyes, listens with the other's ears, feels with the ot...

    No better source for this to be described then the ancient wisdom

    Cast Hexagram:
    61 – Sixty-One
    Chung Fu / Inner Truth

    SITUATION ANALYSIS:

    The subject of this hexagram discovers a key to Tranquility by first gaining insight into his own nature, then turning that vision outward.
    By resolving inner conflicts and being at peace with himself, he learns to gain insight into others.
    In effect, he enters another, sees with the other’s eyes, listens with the other’s ears, feels with the other’s heart.
    He then returns to his own center, with new perspective and understanding.

    Read More
  • Cheryle

    When I have a quiet mind and I am focussing on truly listening it creates the possibility for me to be fully there interacting with reality instead of the preconceived fanciful narratives that can be at the same time ambushing what is actually transpiring!

  • Ose
    When being allowed to listening to the other deeply and with an open heart, we may become aware of possible deep seated hurt or fear that things may painfully be repeated, which may have caused withdrawal or closure, or reactions out of pain which may have caused pain in return. New possibilities may arise from the pain and hurt being in the light of awareness and its recognition, and in the light of the heart that it is as it is. The point zero, from which transformation may occur, forgiveness ...

    When being allowed to listening to the other deeply and with an open heart, we may become aware of possible deep seated hurt or fear that things may painfully be repeated, which may have caused withdrawal or closure, or reactions out of pain which may have caused pain in return. New possibilities may arise from the pain and hurt being in the light of awareness and its recognition, and in the light of the heart that it is as it is. The point zero, from which transformation may occur, forgiveness and peace, if it is meant to be. This cannot be done, only humbly laid in His hands.

    Read More
  • Melinda Rose

    I think listening is one of the greatest gifts we can gift another human being. It helps us understand their experience better and validates that what they have to say is important to us. I think it helps create meaningful connection when we can listen to someone with curiosity and a desire to understand their experience.

  • Melissa

    Listening to another is one of the best ways one can help each other. We all just need to have someone listen . Not solve problems but just hear them out. A gift and a blessing everyone is so grateful for. It adds calm to their day.

  • Lauryn
    It allows for some prospective. New ideas, thoughts, understanding, connections. You typically think of listening as in-person conversation. But it also applied to reading the thoughts of others (such as on this site) - since so many of us are in self-isolation these days, it’s important to find other non- traditional means of listening, otherwise it becomes too easy for our connections with others to slip away. Sometimes I’m not sure how to start conversation...maybe it’s more about invi...

    It allows for some prospective. New ideas, thoughts, understanding, connections. You typically think of listening as in-person conversation. But it also applied to reading the thoughts of others (such as on this site) – since so many of us are in self-isolation these days, it’s important to find other non- traditional means of listening, otherwise it becomes too easy for our connections with others to slip away. Sometimes I’m not sure how to start conversation…maybe it’s more about inviting another to share and going from there, listening with an open mind.

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  • Linda

    A different perspective is sometimes all you need to solve a problem in life.

  • Pollyanna Gladwell
    During the initial coronavirus lockdown from March to July/August, I carefully observed all of the restrictions and the recommended personal safety precautions (which, inexplicably, did not include the wearing of masks), other than the one that said not to go outside if you’re over 70. When I had to go into shops for groceries, I wore disposable gloves. I was in a social bubble with just one person visiting/being visited. I didn’t find it onerous but put myself on a total news fast and used ...

    During the initial coronavirus lockdown from March to July/August, I carefully observed all of the restrictions and the recommended personal safety precautions (which, inexplicably, did not include the wearing of masks), other than the one that said not to go outside if you’re over 70. When I had to go into shops for groceries, I wore disposable gloves. I was in a social bubble with just one person visiting/being visited. I didn’t find it onerous but put myself on a total news fast and used the time for painting, reading, writing and the deepening of spiritual practices. I did a lot of proofreading and researched and wrote legal papers to help a friend. I was busy!. I knew no-one who got the virus, and didn’t even know anyone who knew anyone who got it.

    Fast-forward to the outbreak of the second wave, which resulted in a re-implementation of a partial lockdown in October. The incidence rate in Ireland became the lowest in Europe, with the majority of cases occurring in cities and the counties bordering Northern Ireland, which, being part of the UK, had a different and much laxer set of rules. Without a hard border, the two-way flow of people is significant.These restrictions were lifted at the beginning of December, and, predictably, another surge of cases took place and, as a result between Christmas Eve and December 31st, new and even stricter rules are in place or are about to be. But until 31st, no outright ban on visiting others is in place, although recommendations as to the number of people present, and the number of households mixing were given. I had a couple of socially distanced meet ups with a few people individually in the last couple of weeks, but on two occasions I was shocked that I was hugged. Being polite, I accepted them without a fuss but with a quiet comment only. On Christmas Eve I was invited to a ‘family’ dinner by friends who knew I was on my own. I was hugged on arrival by the wife, and, to my surprise others from their extended family showed up. It transpired that a few of them had been shopping in the city in the last few days. They didn’t ask me whom I had been in contact with and I didn’t ask them. Still being polite.

    I had a lovely Christmas Day dinner with a friend who assured me we would be distanced – which we were until I was leaving, when he gave me a hug. In the evening I spent a lot of time with my ‘bubble-mate’, but didn’t ask where the people he had visited had been or with whom because, like me, he would have been too polite to ask. Today I had planned a visit to my friend Ian in a town on the coast where I would have walked on the beach and then be treated to a beautiful meal in a house so exquisite that it has frequently been featured in decorating magazines. His brother and family in the same town have Covid, although he hasn’t been in direct contact with them, but he did spend 10 hours in a hospital a few days ago in preparation for major surgery that is so specialised and dangerous that it might have to be done in Germany. I was so looking forward to seeing him (possibly for the last time) and another good friend who was coming too with her daughter, a teacher in Dublin, who is home for the holidays. So nice – so normal – to see them all at this time of year.

    And then a thought struck me. It’s not what I and those in my circle and they and their circles are doing today that will keep us all virus-free, it’s what we all did in the last 2 weeks. And there is no possible way of knowing that. I have been too lax and too polite to challenge others, and so have they.

    So I called Ian and explained why I wasn’t coming. He began to guilt me out. The table – which is always a work of art for even non- Christmas meals – was set, he had been up very early to prepare the food etc.

    And I stopped being polite.

    I explained again why I wasn’t coming and, thankfully, he finally understood what I was saying – that I know that I have a responsibility to keep us all safe. So I have messaged everyone to tell them that I will meet for walks, but otherwise I am self-isolating for the foreseeable future.

    Please forgive me. This has been a bit of a rambling post before I get to answering today’s question, but I needed to write to reflect and get clarity.

    By listening to others – the scientists in particular – I create the possibility (and probability) of remaining healthy.

    I have loved the year 2020 with all its challenges, which resulted in an increase in self-knowledge, peace, love, joy and gratefulness. A change of year won’t bring anything better than that, but with my thinking, feeling and actions all congruent in fully human mode, further expansion can and will take place. I wish the same for you all.

    Blessings on us all. xx

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    • Michele

      Thank you so much for your reflection Pollyanna. As an American, and Floridian, I am embarrassed by our country’s lack of unity when it comes to Covid. Don’t get me started on our Governor. You are very wise and a perfect example of what we all should be doing. Virtual hug to you:)

    • Malag

      Great summary of the new normal Pollyanna. The hugging resonates. I think it should become an Olympic sport how to dodge them. Certainly not easy and particularly in Ireland where it can get pretty tactile.

    • Holly in Ohio
      Pollyanna, as always, your comments are refreshing. I admire your courage in reflecting so honestly, and I learn from you. It is, indeed, a struggle. I also try listening carefully to the health authorities and the science, and even their views are changing as we learn more about how this virus spreads. This Christmas I could see outdoors, but not hug, my son and daughter. My friends and I ask what each other is eating and drool over the descriptions rather than share the meal. I had neig...

      Pollyanna, as always, your comments are refreshing. I admire your courage in reflecting so honestly, and I learn from you.

      It is, indeed, a struggle. I also try listening carefully to the health authorities and the science, and even their views are changing as we learn more about how this virus spreads. This Christmas I could see outdoors, but not hug, my son and daughter. My friends and I ask what each other is eating and drool over the descriptions rather than share the meal. I had neighbors come round yesterday to drop off a gift, but one of them seemed upset when I likewise put a gift on their front step, but explained she could not let it freeze (it is snowy here and very cold now and I was afraid the jam and marinara sauce would freeze and expand and shatter the glass jars)… I don’t know but maybe she felt obliged to bring something into her house without a “time out” so I had inadvertently upset her (the canning process sterilizes the foods, so I knew the foods would be safe from contamination and the outside of jars can be wiped). The point I’m trying to make is we are all doing our best, but we often have slightly different views about what is safe, and that is one of the difficult parts of this year.

      I applaud you for saying no to dinner. Hopefully your friend fully understands you said no out of love even more than out of self preservation!

      And you are so right… this challenging year, this big shake-up, has many gifts as well. Everyone has needed to re-evaluate what is important, and to look at a bigger picture, as well as the increase in self-knowledge, peace, love, joy, and gratefulness. All this and Brexit, too!!! What a mess! 😀

      Read More
      • Pollyanna Gladwell

        Thanks for making it all the way through my post, Holly! I had’t realised just how long it was until I had posted it!

        I would like to share your view that we are all doing our best… not been my experience so far, but I hope to be wrong!

        And as to Brex**it! I haven’t yet found an adjective to describe that mess that wouldn’t be classed as swearing ! I’ll work on it! Tanxxx!

  • Papilio

    I think that listening to others opens endless possibilities of friendship and learning from each other. When I say to others “Tell me more” from my curiosity, I always see sparkles in their eyes. After listening to their stories, I recognize the Light within them.

  • Patricia

    Anytime I open my ears, eyes and heart to others – whether those “others” be human or some creature or thing in God’s natural world – new possibilities open. There’s a whole reality out there that I can get a glimpse into – and that just might change my reality, too.

    • Cheryle

      What a lovely response to today’s question! You have inspired me 🙏♥️

  • Trish

    There are incredible opportunities in this world; things I’ve never dreamed of or thought possible. I learn from creative thinkers: how to lean into life’s treasures, when to forge ahead & when to rest, where to go to find peace & solace, who offers great wisdom. We all carry so many great nuggets with us & when we stop to learn from one another the whole world opens up.

  • Holly in Ohio

    If I had a dollar for every time I thought I understood someone before I listened, and then discovered by listening that I hadn’t understood…. I’d be a wealthy woman.

    If all I did was listen, and didn’t receive a dollar…I’d still be a wealthy woman because I would be hearing them. 😉

  • Michele

    Listening to others creates the possibility of learning something by being present. Fully engaging, active listening shows you care. So many distractions – cell phones, tv, etc. Pay attention. Period.

  • 333USA
    In order to listen to those around us attentively, we have to stop what it is we're doing at the moment. Most often that is some action focused on ourselves. When our first thought is turned toward others and not ourselves, we take the first step in surrendering our ego and also the first step toward being the blessing God has intended all of us to be to one another. However, listening is ot the only intention from which we can benefit. For it is how we choose to respond that brings about possi...

    In order to listen to those around us attentively, we have to stop what it is we’re doing at the moment. Most often that is some action focused on ourselves. When our first thought is turned toward others and not ourselves, we take the first step in surrendering our ego and also the first step toward being the blessing God has intended all of us to be to one another. However, listening is ot the only intention from which we can benefit. For it is how we choose to respond that brings about possibility. I am learning that sometimes it is as simple as telling the person that you understand how they feel. Other times it gives us an opportunity for charity or some way that we can be of aid to them. It is our reactionby which God rest possibility in our hands.

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  • EJP

    Listening to other’s wisdom and knowledge creates hope, freedom and peace…endless possibilities.

  • Malag

    Being deaf to others limits my thinking, ideas and my world. If I’m only listening to myself I’m in a constant feedback loop going nowhere. The best of what has happened in my life has involved using my two ears.

  • Howie Geib
    The currency of thoughts, and the sense that exchanging them with others increases and enhances their value, has been, in my experience, invaluable. And I say thoughts NOT words. Talking at each other is different, and of questionable value. Reading your entries each day is a great example. For not until after I have bestowed my view on the matter of the day do I read yours, and it is always a revelation of a series of new facets to each question! Creating all kinds of possibilities not to menti...

    The currency of thoughts, and the sense that exchanging them with others increases and enhances their value, has been, in my experience, invaluable. And I say thoughts NOT words. Talking at each other is different, and of questionable value. Reading your entries each day is a great example. For not until after I have bestowed my view on the matter of the day do I read yours, and it is always a revelation of a series of new facets to each question! Creating all kinds of possibilities not to mention community.

    Read More
    • Pollyanna Gladwell

      I too love the ‘revelation of a series of new facets to each question’ that are the result of these daily reflections.

      Learning about the inner and outer landscapes (and weather!) around the members of this community is such a privilege. Thank you all.

  • sunnypatti

    Listening can offer me a new perspective, create bonds and compassion, and allow me to learn something new.

  • Antoinette
    Listening to others creates possibilities because we are all similar in that we want to be loved and we want to be happy. By listening we are offering an olive branch of loving kindness and compassion. We are being generous in that we offer a space for others to be seen and heard. Sometimes what may be said isn’t easy to hear but it’s a start to healing. If we can remember that just because something is said does not make it true. We often worry about critical attacks etc but when we lis...

    Listening to others creates possibilities because we are all similar in that we want to be loved and we want to be happy. By listening we are offering an olive branch of loving kindness and compassion. We are being generous in that we offer a space for others to be seen and heard.
    Sometimes what may be said isn’t easy to hear but it’s a start to healing. If we can remember that just because something is said does not make it true.
    We often worry about critical attacks etc but when we listen we can try our best to allow whatever the person is feeling to not be an attack on us. People sometimes have a lot of pain and when they speak this can come out .
    What helps me is to think – is this criticism true? If so then so be it and how can I work on it? If it isn’t then – let it go. Negativity is like glue and positivity can be like Teflon so if we can remember that the mind tends towards a negative biased we can focus to make sure that we are clearly seeing the truth. This helps create more positive effects for us and people around us.
    Ultimately, listening is an act of peace. And isn’t peace what we want to see more of? Happy peaceful 2022 ! 🕊

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    • Pollyanna Gladwell

      Are you skipping 2021, Antoinette?!!!

      I love how you characterise negativity and positivity… glue and Teflon! Perfect! xx

    • Holly in Ohio

      Several profound insights there I wish to hold.

      The “need to be seen and heard” is so important, particularly some of our depressed or angry youth.
      “Whatever the person is feeling is not an attack on us.” …another brilliant statement.

      thank you for this. You’ve given much to think about.

  • Kevin

    Listening to others creates the possibility of communication, learning, insight and friendship.

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