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Daily Question, February 12

How can I make a positive difference for someone who is suffering?

  • Malag

    I can send a message of support finding out how she is

  • reality

    The oppurtunity must be perceived by me, then “striking while the iron’s hot”, Van Gogh; and then only as I can- for my goodness can never diminish or defeat me. reality

  • Tahsin Tabassum

    Let them know they are not alone, we are all going through some journey

  • Dusty Su

    Start by showing up with empty hands (leaving expectation, expertise, projected outcomes aside), and an open heart. Be a calm, non-judgemental presence. Listen, truly listen, never take over, exhibit trust in their abilities. Support them as they need to be supported. Look for practical things you can help with too.

  • BabaYaga

    Prayer.
    Don’t ask me whether or how it works. I just offer it.
    At breakfast each morning my husband and I silently recite our lists that include people by name (my friend’s sister with ocular cancer, those who are recently widowed and lonely, the non-smoker who was diagnosed with lung cancer…) and people we don’t know (the people of Gaza, the people of Syria, those crossing the Mediterranean, the Rohingya, men in Guantanamo…).

  • Elizabeth M Jones

    Be there for them. support them by listening, contacting them and encouraging them.

  • Katrina

    Listen, listen, listen…

  • Eva
    First, seeing the person, not the problem or suffering they are experiencing. Then, if I'm allowed, I need to understand the suffering, so listen to who is suffering. I think it depends on a nature of suffering what I would do next or what I could do if at all to do anything to make any difference. If there is something practical in my power to be able to take action, that's what I would do. If nothing else, least I can is to try understanding and really listen. I can be supportive that way...

    First, seeing the person, not the problem or suffering they are experiencing. Then, if I’m allowed, I need to understand the suffering, so listen to who is suffering. I think it depends on a nature of suffering what I would do next or what I could do if at all to do anything to make any difference. If there is something practical in my power to be able to take action, that’s what I would do. If nothing else, least I can is to try understanding and really listen. I can be supportive that way, and hopefully that would help a bit.

    Read More
  • Mica

    Heaven only knows! The ‘someone’ is suffering greatly and blaming me, among other things. I just made a tiny positive difference by agreeing to share storage with them, but it is just a drop in the bucket of suffering.

    • you did a good job Mica, be sure – no acht of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted (Aesop) ?

  • Linda

    My husband lives with chronic shoulder and back pain. I do my best to keep things calm and tranquil around the house so he can rest into his daily activities. He never complains which truly amazes me. He is unfailingly kind to me and everyone else.

  • Skeeter

    By listening and acknowledging the pain. Or simply by greeting every person I meet with a soft look in the eyes and a nod to recognize we are all one. And we all suffer at some times in our lives. Honor were that person is physically and spiritually without perpetuating the suffering.

  • Ed Schulte

    Emanate ( primarily non-verbally but in certain cases when one knows the situation very well, then softly spoken ) this prayer……

    “This too shall pass, Amen”

    • Mica

      Thank’s, Ed [= contraction of ‘Thank Us’?? ;-] ] I like the Eckhart Tolle quote – indeed, challenges never end, and they can lead us onto new paths that have value.

      There was no ‘reply’ option after your latest reply to me, but I see I can still Reply up here ;-]

      • Ed Schulte
        I do that "post above" method all the time. Yes BUT the down side of a TOLLE like advice is that the mis-guided will think "OK so I will take on more and reach so-called "nirvana" faster!. No need to list the countless Religious examples of that mistake! As synchronicity would have it ...the better advice showed up at noon news. Here is living proof that the approach "Few things matter much, and most things don't matter at all." simply works best .......It is in the form of ..currently th...

        I do that “post above” method all the time.

        Yes BUT the down side of a TOLLE like advice is that the mis-guided will think “OK so I will take on more and reach so-called “nirvana” faster!. No need to list the countless Religious examples of that mistake!

        As synchronicity would have it …the better advice showed up at noon news.
        Here is living proof that the approach “Few things matter much, and most things don’t matter at all.” simply works best …….It is in the form of ..currently the …Longest living Human Being

        And his answer to non-suffering is “never get angry and keep a smile on your face” BINGO!

        www.msn.com/en-ca/news/world/the-worlds-oldest-living-man-is-112-his-secret-is-to-just-keep-smiling-and-never-get-angry/ar-BBZVSIP?li=AAggNb9

        Read More
        • Mica

          Wow – thank’s! An amazing old man. When I first heard, “No pain, no gain” I figured – good. I don’t need Gain. But the Pain comes, regardless, and it’s the Gain that is often optional.

    • Mica

      This too shall pass. Amen! Thank you Ed! That’s a good mantra for me at this point.

      • Ed Schulte

        “THANK US! and Amen”

        • Mica

          Thank us for the reminder, Ed – maybe I’ll learn some day!

          • Ed Schulte
            Hi again You are doing fine, the worst thing EVER is for a advisor ..be they in Religions ( aka "repent" ) or New Age ( aka "self pity is very sympathetic" ) NOT that I am imply you are in anyway on either of those paths.... But that reminds me of an E. Tolle ( Power of Now) VERY VALID comment which is applicable to to-days subject. I haven't seen this principle mentioned here yet so.....here it is..... "challenges are here to waken you and even if you are awakening, ( even then!)...

            Hi again

            You are doing fine, the worst thing EVER is for a advisor ..be they in Religions ( aka “repent” ) or New Age ( aka “self pity is very sympathetic” )

            NOT that I am imply you are in anyway on either of those paths….

            But that reminds me of an E. Tolle ( Power of Now) VERY VALID comment which is applicable to to-days subject. I haven’t seen this principle mentioned here yet so…..here it is…..

            “challenges are here to waken you and even if you are awakening, ( even then!) life continuously gives you challenges and then the awakening accelerates and deepens”

            ECKHART TOLLE

            Read More
  • Debra

    Allowing them to feel their truest connection to life beyond the pain and the suffering without denying them the immense struggle. Love them for all that they are in their very being. Help them strive for moments of peace and perhaps even joy by devoting your time and attention solely to them. Tell them over and over again how much you love them. Kiss them. A kiss with love lasts forever.

  • GCharlotte

    I am suffering! I can make a positive difference for myself by going for walks, going to Chapel Service, walking to a favorite restaurant for a meal and reading the Books. I may also keep in touch with my family especially my daughter&parents.

  • Chester

    Listen while reinforcing the strengths of the someone, being careful to not invalidate the suffering.

    • Mica

      reinforcing the strengths of someone – thank you, Chester.

    • Ed Schulte

      I appreciate you submitting this Chester

      “careful to not invalidate the suffering”……

      So True …..unless one knows the situation completely ( the cause could be due to an imbalance during previous incarnations) …the so-called suffering could possibly be a very powerful ‘opening’ lesson occurring ……invalidating ….could therefore be interfering / exasperating / the purpose of the lesson.

      WE are all here in earthly form to get our lessons.

      Be Well Be Present

      EdS

  • Cato

    This indeed is the question that I would like to answer. I believe that it is important to put people first and to actively listen to them. How else can I? I think that I need to live outside myself more. I get so concerned about my well being that I forget to assure that others are feeling the love that they deserve. I really want to make sure that I am working to uplift others when I can.

  • Sieger des Friedens

    a g r e e with what is – within mySELF and the OTHER.

    • Ed Schulte
      You are true to your signature ‘Winner of peace’. Since the question of the day does not give specifics about “suffering” …eg: a friend’s, a neighbours, ...or...someone half way around the globe who’s family is about to be blown apart by a well intended “peace keeping bomb” then one can only reply as you did.... ….”what IS” ultimately …is the ‘SELF’ which is not in anyway susceptible to suffering, not physical, not emotional, not mental.There can never be peace...

      You are true to your signature ‘Winner of peace’.

      Since the question of the day does not give specifics about “suffering” …eg: a friend’s, a neighbours, …or…someone half way around the globe who’s family is about to be blown apart by a well intended “peace keeping bomb” then one can only reply as you did….

      ….”what IS” ultimately …is the ‘SELF’ which is not in anyway susceptible to suffering, not physical, not emotional, not mental.There can never be peace without that applied and LIVED recognition.

      Be Well Be Present

      EdS

      Read More
  • SaVaLoS

    But we all suffer dear asker.

    Some worse than others though can’t argue but everyone has some.

    I guess helping others is helping yourself but like someone said avoid helper’s syndrome!!

    Leave the stuff you can’t help with to the Care Bears!

  • Deb

    Be present. Re-member.

  • SaVaLoS

    Just acknowledge it with as much understanding as I can and offer compassionate aid if I am able to and it is appropriate to do so.

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