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Daily Question, October 13

How can I make a positive difference for someone who is suffering?

  • Malag

    I’ll keep a watchful eye to see where the suffering is. The rest will follow.

  • Mary Pat

    Just by listening and not trying to fix whatever it is. Just being there for the person is a gift, without preaching, advising, or anything…just listen….

  • Hot Sauce

    Honestly, I don’t know anyone who is suffering who I haven’t reached out to yet, but if I do encounter someone, I can always give them a message of hope or, if nothing else, the gift of love and presence.

  • TofuLove
    For me, recently it has been occurring to me, first determine if you have any basis of trying to help them. How can I give anyone advice on say, doing this or that action, when I can't even do it myself consistently? The wisest person I knew was someone who just offered care and compassion, you are hungry, here's food, you are scared, here's comfort ... everything else they left up to the person to figure out and I think that is about as much positive impact as any person can make until they tru...

    For me, recently it has been occurring to me, first determine if you have any basis of trying to help them. How can I give anyone advice on say, doing this or that action, when I can’t even do it myself consistently? The wisest person I knew was someone who just offered care and compassion, you are hungry, here’s food, you are scared, here’s comfort … everything else they left up to the person to figure out and I think that is about as much positive impact as any person can make until they truly master whatever the circumstances are that the other is going through and often when it comes to the bigger stuff, most of us I think are pretty clueless.

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  • Blossom
    Sometimes what you think helps, actually hinders. My suffering needed to be worked out internally. What helped me the most during my darkest hour was watching my mentor live her life, what a delight and treat of a human being she was. She didn’t advise me or let me go on. What she did was live a good life, through all her many losses, trials and difficulties. She recently transitioned to another place, even her transition, was done with such dignity and grace. Her example carries me to t...

    Sometimes what you think helps, actually hinders. My suffering needed to be worked out internally. What helped me the most during my darkest hour was watching my mentor live her life, what a delight and treat of a human being she was.

    She didn’t advise me or let me go on. What she did was live a good life, through all her many losses, trials and difficulties. She recently transitioned to another place, even her transition, was done with such dignity and grace. Her example carries me to this day.

    Read More
  • Antoinette

    I try to send messages to someone I know who’s suffering deeply. He doesn’t seem to answer the phone or even read my messages all the time . I have tried during this whole pandemic to keep him from being depressed. I know it’s not my responsibility, but I pray he makes it out of this alive and well.

  • Don Jones

    Depending on the circumstance, give. Give my presence, my time, food, whatever the situation asks for.

  • Elaine

    Besides the suffering they are living with, I bring up other stuff – the subjects we normally talk about. And introduce levity whenever appropriate – laughter is the best thing!

  • Marnie Jackson

    I can direct them to a space that will start the journey to healing and learning.

  • Melissa
    I found that each person that I know who is suffering has different ways of receiving what they need. Some need just listening, others need help with food, cleaning, comfort gifts , driving to the doctors etc. I found it helps to stay in touch and feel out what someone might need. A hug, smile or even a paid for therapy session to get them started with a good therapist . A gift of a paid massage too is so helpful for stressed folks and is well received. It does take courage to step forward to h...

    I found that each person that I know who is suffering has different ways of receiving what they need. Some need just listening, others need help with food, cleaning, comfort gifts , driving to the doctors etc. I found it helps to stay in touch and feel out what someone might need. A hug, smile or even a paid for therapy session to get them started with a good therapist . A gift of a paid massage too is so helpful for stressed folks and is well received. It does take courage to step forward to help. Please do something, just take three deep breaths it works for me to feel courage to act.

    Read More
  • Cintia

    I’m educator and therapist and I hope my job make a positive difference.

  • Lauryn

    Be a good listener.

  • Linda

    I have applied to be a mentor to a newly arrived Afghani family. I helped another family from that country a few years ago and it was the most enriching experience of my life.

    • Holly in Ohio

      Bless you, bless you, bless you, LInda! It brings tears of joys to my eyes. 💐

      • Linda

        Thank you, Holly. I am really looking forward to it. I am still friends with the first Afghani family. There were 4 children; all have gone to college, 3 have married, two have children and the parents are doing well overall.

  • Chester

    The gift of time and consideration are most precious of all; notice the someone within the suffering and the strength of their endurance.

  • pkr

    Offering words of encouragement, either thru text, phone calls or sending a card. Prayer…sending prayers up, on their behalf. And listening….🙏

  • dcdeb

    Have a good long conversation on a regular basis. Check in on them regularly. Perhaps run some errands.

  • Matt Stewart

    Someone who is suffering needs nothing except my time and maybe my smile. Sometimes though a smile is too much and all that the suffering g person needs is a hand to hold or the awareness that I am there for them.

  • JayJacks

    In my situation specifically I can listen with empathy. By practicing this skill I listen to learn and I become more connected with my partner. I hear her pain and see it through her lense.

  • Nelson

    I learned sometimes saying nothing at all helps. Oftentimes, my friends would vent. I’d ask if they wanted feedback after they speak. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don’t. But for the most part, they just need to be heard. They just want to know they’re not alone or they just needed to vent to clear their heads.

    • Matt Stewart

      I understand that and do alot of work with young people in a sort of mentoring role, greatest gift I can give them is the space snd freedom to talk with my interference or judgement.
      Thank you.

  • Holly in Ohio

    Sometimes it is about putting up with grumpiness and responding with love instead of reacting. Listening to what they are saying, but also understanding they may not be expressing everything, so trying to be a safe harbor for them to express and connect.

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