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Daily Question, February 21

How can I gain perspective on how I am seen or experienced by others?

  • Patricia
    The question leads me here: Perspective is a term in art which helps things to fade realistically into the distance. So, I feel that as I've aged, I have also put these kinds of questions, concerns or worries at a distance. I cared more when I was younger (for whatever reason) what people thought. Now I care more about my own integrity and living my life faithfully. But do I want to be experienced positively or as inspiring to others somehow - being a model to my daughters, for example? ...

    The question leads me here: Perspective is a term in art which helps things to fade realistically into the distance. So, I feel that as I’ve aged, I have also put these kinds of questions, concerns or worries at a distance. I cared more when I was younger (for whatever reason) what people thought. Now I care more about my own integrity and living my life faithfully.

    But do I want to be experienced positively or as inspiring to others somehow – being a model to my daughters, for example? (Probably) But even that is finally something not really in my ultimate control – if it happens, it’s only a product of living with integrity and faithfully… and that’s what I should focus on. That is my work.

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  • Bee_kind35
    I used to be a people pleaser and cared quite a bit about how I was seen by others. When I sat and thought about it, I knew I was probably viewed as a doormat due to all my people pleasing ways. Now, while I am still very kind and willing to help, I am also in control of myself and able to say no. Being in control of my breath has helped immensely with being in control of my mind and controling my thoughts (not being so negative.) While I don't really care how others view me, I view myself as so...

    I used to be a people pleaser and cared quite a bit about how I was seen by others. When I sat and thought about it, I knew I was probably viewed as a doormat due to all my people pleasing ways. Now, while I am still very kind and willing to help, I am also in control of myself and able to say no. Being in control of my breath has helped immensely with being in control of my mind and controling my thoughts (not being so negative.) While I don’t really care how others view me, I view myself as someone who is strong, capable, and also calm in the face of pressure.

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    • Mica

      Thank you, Bee_kind35, for reminding me to do some breathing practices and for sharing how that has improved your life 🙂

  • Kevin

    Upon reading today’s question, first, I am more interested in knowing, for myself, what is behind this question, and the reasons for asking it. While we all want to be perceived by others as likeable, upstanding, and unique in nature, fretting over such things takes us away from being who we are, warts and all. I am far more interested in attending to, and being real to, myself, than how I am thought of by others.

  • devy

    I as well tend to be a person pleaser and often put my needs second. I’ve always had the need to be accepted and liked at no cost. I’m really attempting to love me and not care what others think or how I am seen even though I am compassionate to others and care about any personal problems they have. But I’m also realizing that I cannot rescue them and that not everyone accepts who I am.

  • sunnypatti

    While I tend to be a people-pleaser, I actually try not to worry about how others “see” me. I do want to be a good person and share light, but how someone receives me is up to them.

  • Michele

    I have read that what other’s think of me is none of my business, so how I am seen or experienced by others is their perspective, not mine. There are only a few who see ‘all of me’ as we put on different personas, work, home, meeting someone new etc.

    • Kevin

      Love this, Michele, “…what others think of me is none of my business.” That’s a great way of thinking about this topic.

      • Michele

        Thank you Kevin, it’s easier to write that then to really acknowledge that & truly not care what others think. That is why I started it with ” I have read” lol

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