Daily Question, June 20 How can I gain perspective on how I am seen or experienced by others? 35 Reflections Share Click here to cancel reply.Please log in or Create a Profile to post a comment. Notify me when someone replies to my comment via e-mail. Aline8 months agoAlineQuite simply, by better listening to others instead of focusing on my own opinions and perspectives… 0 Reply 8 months agoonly a qualified teacher, who we trust in, can be our mirror. all else is projection or at least mixed with projection. and without sustained trust we will not be courageous enough to look and see and accept 1 Reply Malag8 months agoMalagI think that's a life's work right there! My experience has been a slow gradual perception of what I mask or hide from myself, what I may perceive as the dark or negative, but what is just being human. For example what I sense is irritating in someone else is usually a reflection of something I don't want to see in myself. The Johari window is quite a good model for this. Another example of how I go about it is an honest conversation, noticing what I am holding back from revealing and letting it...I think that’s a life’s work right there! My experience has been a slow gradual perception of what I mask or hide from myself, what I may perceive as the dark or negative, but what is just being human. For example what I sense is irritating in someone else is usually a reflection of something I don’t want to see in myself. The Johari window is quite a good model for this. Another example of how I go about it is an honest conversation, noticing what I am holding back from revealing and letting it come through: obviously works in safe unpressured situations – haven’t yet field tested in a difficult one! Read More2 Reply Hot Sauce8 months agoHot SauceRight now, I am learning that, just because people perceive me as good, that does not mean I can't continue improving, and just because someone might perceive me as bad or refuse to forgive past mistakes, that doesn't make it true. Sometimes, people's refusal to let go of things is a reflection on them, not me. I am trying to remind myself that other people's perception doesn't define me and that I, like them, always have goodness within me, even if it gets clouded by ignorance and fear at times...Right now, I am learning that, just because people perceive me as good, that does not mean I can’t continue improving, and just because someone might perceive me as bad or refuse to forgive past mistakes, that doesn’t make it true. Sometimes, people’s refusal to let go of things is a reflection on them, not me. I am trying to remind myself that other people’s perception doesn’t define me and that I, like them, always have goodness within me, even if it gets clouded by ignorance and fear at times. Read More4 Reply Dusty Su8 months agoDusty SuThe only reason I’d need to be concerned about this is if my interactions or intentions towards others cause either good or bad fruit. If good, keep laying it on, if bad, maybe adjust if it’s possible. We see ourselves and are seen by others according to our innumerable biases which may filter correctly or incorrectly. BE LOVE and BE LOVED is a good starting point no matter what! At least try to be and let the rest go. IMHO! 3 Reply Linda8 months agoLindaThis doesn’t seem to matter to me so much anymore as it used to. I just do my best to be a good person. 3 Reply Mica8 months agoMicaBy being aware of the question and thinking about it after interactions, but not obsessively or excessively 3 Reply Howie Geib8 months agoHowie GeibIn my work I often get feedback. At first it was uncomfortable and threatening. But with practice I began to see how useful it was to avoid something coming out sideways by taking a bit more effort. Also, I began to see how much my attitude made a positive impact on being genuine and authentic. So by continually being open and seeking feedback and checking my outgoing energy and attitude is how I tend to function. 3 Reply Michele8 months agoMicheleI have found that peoples perspective can be totally wrong. Not hearing a full conversation, for example, may have one view to one person, but entirely different to the other. When it comes to it, you have to focus on yourself – you have to be happy with your values and beliefs. Surround yourself with positivity and where there’s negativity don’t partake in that mindset. peace, love, smile. 3 Reply Maeve8 months agoMaeveTheir response to me very often, whether it be body language or words. Ease or lack thereof between me and someone else. Asking them! And as we get to know and trust one another, there is more freedom to be honest and open. 4 Reply Katrina8 months agoKatrinaI do think it is important to access from time to time how I am experienced by others. Am I experienced as abrasive, a poor decision-maker, an antagonist, a bully, a weak link? Yes, I can do a lot of self-assessment on a regular basis and in good conscience and prayer hopefully be honest with myself. But I can never truly get outside myself to see and know how others see, hear or understand me. Or if they even do. How can I grow in my calling if I don't listen to the loving guidance of others?...I do think it is important to access from time to time how I am experienced by others. Am I experienced as abrasive, a poor decision-maker, an antagonist, a bully, a weak link? Yes, I can do a lot of self-assessment on a regular basis and in good conscience and prayer hopefully be honest with myself. But I can never truly get outside myself to see and know how others see, hear or understand me. Or if they even do. How can I grow in my calling if I don’t listen to the loving guidance of others? If they write me off as someone not worthy of listening to or following or partnering with, and I don’t know why, then I have not only failed myself, I have failed my calling. Read More3 Reply Present Moment8 months agoPresent MomentI cannot. I am judging with the same mind that asked the question. 3 Reply Skeeter8 months agoSkeeterAmor, Powerful and thoughtful. Thank you. The real challenge for me is how to arrive at the point of the question and remain non-attached to person, place or thing? We are social beings. as a dimension of this level of existence. Would like your thoughts on this one. Thanks 1 Reply Maeve8 months agoMaeveNot sure what this means. 1 Reply Ed Schulte8 months agoEd SchulteThe word of the Day ....by Robert Burns "Oh would some power the girt give us, to see ourselves as others see us" Is unfortunate in that it implies that humans can't have that "power" when in fact it is readily available to us ALL. It goes by the name "Introspection" When introspection is combined with the "power" of visualization and used to recall the past day's events ( best do just before going to sleep when the personalities ego-ism is at its weakist and won't fight back ) It w...The word of the Day ….by Robert Burns “Oh would some power the girt give us, to see ourselves as others see us” Is unfortunate in that it implies that humans can’t have that “power” when in fact it is readily available to us ALL. It goes by the name “Introspection” When introspection is combined with the “power” of visualization and used to recall the past day’s events ( best do just before going to sleep when the personalities ego-ism is at its weakist and won’t fight back ) It will indeed! allow one to “see yourself as others see us!”. Ancients recognized and used it because they knew this power as “The God Within”. aka “Spirit-Soul-Self”. This introspection exercise can be done using six simple ( BUT NOT NECESSARILY EASY ) questions, and “perspective of how others see one personality warts and all ” will definitely arise.. What did I think or feel that I should not have thought or felt? What did I not think or feel that I should have thought or felt? What did I say that I should not have said? What did I not say that I should have said? What did I do that I should not have done? What did I not do that I should have done? Read More5 Reply Pollyanna Gladwell8 months agoPollyanna GladwellThanks for this Ed and your comment on my reflection below. When I was looking up a translation of the poem today, I found one in which the first line of the verse was given as “O would some Power with vision teach us”. Although it is taking some liberties with Burns’ words, (O wad some Power the giftie gie us) it is a better match for scansion of the original. And it does describe the power of introspection combined with visualization that you and I both use. Thought you might like ...Thanks for this Ed and your comment on my reflection below. When I was looking up a translation of the poem today, I found one in which the first line of the verse was given as “O would some Power with vision teach us”. Although it is taking some liberties with Burns’ words, (O wad some Power the giftie gie us) it is a better match for scansion of the original. And it does describe the power of introspection combined with visualization that you and I both use. Thought you might like to know! In case you change your mind about memorising the poem, there are some good renditions of the original in the Scots language on YouTube. I think I would probably “Louse it up” too if I tried to recite it now because I have largely forgotten it – and life is too short to relearn it! Read More5 Reply Ed Schulte8 months agoEd SchulteThank You for this kind and informative reply Pollyanna. I somehow doubt Robby Burns would object to our own choice of visions with his flowing verse. I would even go so far as to say that he would love to join us and share it again along with a sip (or two) of Auchentoshan 3 Wood by a warm hearth! Beauty, in any form or method of deliver, ever dies. Be Well Be Present EdS 2 Reply Pollyanna Gladwell8 months agoPollyanna GladwellI am sure he would – or Wood! Cheers, Ed. 2 Reply devy8 months agodevyI try to focus on my self love knowing that I am awesome and a good person . I try not to second guess others perspectives. Yes some others may not like or appreciate me or it might be my own perceived opinion. Either way, I try to look after myself first and love me. Love flows from within outwards to others. a person cannot expect to find love from others as the only source of acceptance.. 2 Reply Pilgrim8 months agoPilgrimIt has been a long time since I thought or worried about this. 4 Reply Christina8 months agoChristinaHow lucky you are, Piligrim! 2 Reply Antoinette8 months agoAntoinetteI try to let go of wondering about how others see me. I try to to my best each day and be grateful that I am alive. 4 Reply Pollyanna Gladwell8 months agoPollyanna GladwellThe final verse of the poem (To a Louse) quoted in today’s Word for the Day that gave rise to this question, was written in 1786 by the Scottish poet Robert Burns. As a child at school in Scotland I learned to recite it in the original Scots language and until now, had never read a translation of it. Thanks to the Google Oracle I discovered that the full verse in this translation reads: Oh, would some Power give us the gift To see ourselves as others see us! It would from many a blunder...The final verse of the poem (To a Louse) quoted in today’s Word for the Day that gave rise to this question, was written in 1786 by the Scottish poet Robert Burns. As a child at school in Scotland I learned to recite it in the original Scots language and until now, had never read a translation of it. Thanks to the Google Oracle I discovered that the full verse in this translation reads: Oh, would some Power give us the gift To see ourselves as others see us! It would from many a blunder free us, And foolish notion: What airs in dress and gait would leave us, And even devotion! Burns wrote the poem after seeing a louse crawling over the hat of a fine lady in church and, not being of high birth himself, he was reflecting on how her (perceived by him) pretensions would be challenged if she had known about the louse that should have been more appropriately crawling on “some ragged boy’s pale undervest”. I believe that the sentiment of the final verse gave rise to the constant refrain of my childhood; “What will people think of you?” I didn’t care then and I don’t care now! I know I am kind and thoughtful and forgiving, but if someone doesn’t see me as I am, I bless them and move on – as I did from Scotland and the endless caring about how one wants to appear to others. But I do care about how I appear to myself, and a daily inventory of my positive and negative thoughts, feelings and actions shows me what corrections I need to make. I am still a work in progress! Read More9 Reply Christina8 months agoChristinaThanks! 3 Reply Carol8 months agoCarolThank You! 4 Reply Ed Schulte8 months agoEd SchulteWell if I had of read down the daily contributions till I saw your post here …….I would have attached my post here to echo your “But I do care about how I appear to myself….a daily inventory of my positive and negative thoughts”. gem.Thank you also for the background of the poem, in Canada I sometimes hear a few lines of it emanating from frustrated Engineers but never the complete poem. ……..And no I won’t try to memorize it …I will probably “Louse it up”! 5 Reply Maria8 months agoMariaThe inner critic, constantly comparing myself, analysing what I say and the dreaded “should” are with me daily !! Self compassion is something I struggle with. 3 Reply Cathy8 months agoCathyWhile I do want to know if my somewhat abrasive personality offends someone, it has been hard for me to learn to "do me." Most of my life, like so many others in my generation, was spent trying to live up to others' expectations. Always looking around and measuring myself against others. For me, and for most, that habitual comparing left me in a bad place that took years of practice to look outside myself. Long story short- if I understand the question correctly- as long as I am not harming othe...While I do want to know if my somewhat abrasive personality offends someone, it has been hard for me to learn to “do me.” Most of my life, like so many others in my generation, was spent trying to live up to others’ expectations. Always looking around and measuring myself against others. For me, and for most, that habitual comparing left me in a bad place that took years of practice to look outside myself. Long story short- if I understand the question correctly- as long as I am not harming others with my somewhat rough edges, I don’t want to know how I am seen or experienced by others. I wonder if the way I explained this makes sense? Read More3 Reply Christina8 months agoChristinaMakes BIG sense to me. Thank you for it! 2 Reply Present Moment8 months agoPresent MomentMakes sense to me… Do no harm 3 Reply Kevin8 months agoKevinThe first question I would ask myself is, “why am I concerned about this?” Answering that question first should lead me somewhere. 4 Reply Christina8 months agoChristinaThank you. 1 Reply 1 2 Next » My Private Gratitude Journal Write an entry in your private gratefulness journal Get Started This site is brought to you by A Network for Grateful Living, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit. All donations are fully tax deductible in the U.S.A. DONATE https://gratefulness.org/content/uploads/2015/03/GX-Gold-Participant-L.png Community Engagement Guidelines Privacy Policy [email protected] Connect with us on Social Media: © 2000 - 2021, A Network for Grateful Living Website by Briteweb
