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Daily Question, March 23

How can I be of service today?

  • Imo Greenwood
    this comes at such a funny time. i'm in the midst of collecting my experiences of sexual ass*ult and collating them all into written accounts. when i'm done, i want to publish them in their own site on the internet - to remind myself that none of them were my fault & i have nothing to be ashamed of in relation to them at all (even though sometimes it still feels that way) & to make others feel less alone in their experiences. i've always found speaking about these things makes myself &am...

    this comes at such a funny time. i’m in the midst of collecting my experiences of sexual ass*ult and collating them all into written accounts. when i’m done, i want to publish them in their own site on the internet – to remind myself that none of them were my fault & i have nothing to be ashamed of in relation to them at all (even though sometimes it still feels that way) & to make others feel less alone in their experiences. i’ve always found speaking about these things makes myself & others feel so much more empowered & in control of our narratives, stories & autonomies – especially when our autonomies were so viciously stripped from us before.

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  • Dusty Su

    I went to see an old friend of who has had a stroke and is dying. I helped those caring for him to begin to make hard choices, put safeguards in place, and feel seen for their care. Most of all, I loved him, thanked him and said goodbye. I’m going to miss him, but I am so glad I am in Thailand and could see him one last time.

  • Kevin
    Actually, my response to yesterday’s Daily Question works for today’s question also: “Have thy tools ready, God will find thee work.” (Reverend Charles Kingsley (1819-1875, England) I have met some people who approach “being of service” to others in a “must do,” frantic, almost desperate sort of way, so much so that the act of service is serving their own needs above all else. Sadly, and not surprisingly, these same folks frequently crash, burn out, or otherwise become disillu...

    Actually, my response to yesterday’s Daily Question works for today’s question also: “Have thy tools ready, God will find thee work.” (Reverend Charles Kingsley (1819-1875, England)

    I have met some people who approach “being of service” to others in a “must do,” frantic, almost desperate sort of way, so much so that the act of service is serving their own needs above all else. Sadly, and not surprisingly, these same folks frequently crash, burn out, or otherwise become disillusioned over time. Everyone’s tempo, style, and availability to be of service varies, and I get that. For myself, however, I don’t need to know where, how, or with whom, I will be of service to in any given day. I only need to be open, remain open, and remain listening and watching, and by doing so the need and opportunities for offering service find me.

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    • Carol

      Motivation is always key.

    • Laura

      I have also been on the receiving end of these “must do” people, Kevin. Nearly forcing me to accept their “kindness.” It is uncomfortable and far more about them adding another tally to their daily good deeds than about what I may actually need.
      Your post is a good reminder that it’s not service or even kindness if the intended recipient does not want our help. We have to listen and respect the other person.

      • Mica

        Yes, Laura and Kevin – such ‘must do’ ‘service’ can actually be a disservice to those receiving it!
        Or, at least, it is not always ideal. A sister-in-law took me to visit women prisoners one year, bringing them gifts. She was doing a useful ‘must do service,’ but I enjoyed just sitting in the circle of prisoners and talking with them, telling them how my brother had spent a night in prison one Christmas. Her service was greater than mine, but our combined service was even better.

    • Iamme
      Definitely there are people driven by there own needs in a people pleaser/co-dependent way. I think it’s important to know your own personal limits, no one can or should give of themselves without limits, that kind of service can be extremely detrimental to your own health. I’ve learnt how to say no when I know I don’t have the space or energy to be of service. I have also learnt to step back and say no if I feel I am becoming a crutch or just being used, sometimes too much help prevents p...

      Definitely there are people driven by there own needs in a people pleaser/co-dependent way. I think it’s important to know your own personal limits, no one can or should give of themselves without limits, that kind of service can be extremely detrimental to your own health. I’ve learnt how to say no when I know I don’t have the space or energy to be of service. I have also learnt to step back and say no if I feel I am becoming a crutch or just being used, sometimes too much help prevents people from helping themselves and is actually disabling. I don’t think being of service should be boundary-less, above all else we need to look after ourselves first and foremost, because if we fall through illness or mental or physical exhaustion we cannot be of service to anyone not even ourselves. It’s the familiar saying – if you are on a plane that’s going down, you put the life jacket and oxygen mask on yourself before helping others.

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    • Dusty Su

      Well said Kevin.

  • Iamme
    Every day I support my family. I support my adult son who has mental health problems that prevent him from living a full life, even prevent him from leaving the house. I also support my husband who works long hours in as much as I (I work for myself from home so that I am present for my son as much as possible) do the bulk of the housekeeping and always have a home cooked meal ready for us all at the end of the working day. I am available to my parents, my daughter and her partner, my friends...

    Every day I support my family. I support my adult son who has mental health problems that prevent him from living a full life, even prevent him from leaving the house. I also support my husband who works long hours in as much as I (I work for myself from home so that I am present for my son as much as possible) do the bulk of the housekeeping and always have a home cooked meal ready for us all at the end of the working day. I am available to my parents, my daughter and her partner, my friends and neighbours. I am also available to the wider community through the voluntary work I do running a monthly Repair Café and a monthly music event. I am always open to supporting and helping anyone who asks or who I can see needs help and support of one kind or another. Being of service is I think, a natural part of mine and many people’s lives, not really an action that has to be deliberately cultivated or thought about; I think it is natural human instinct and it is one of the ways we find meaning in our lives.

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  • Michele

    I can be of service today by watching for clues to see if I’m needed.

  • Christine

    It will present itself. No doubt. Every day certainly has a moment when I can mean something to someone else. It can be huge, it can be very small.

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