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Daily Question, April 8

How has a change in my attitude or perspective transformed a situation?

  • Malag

    To see the pandemic lockdown as an opportunity of time away from busyness to learn something new.

  • delilah
    every time i talk, my "attitude" is kinda my personality i don't like it tho, because i am the bubbly girl thats fun to be with and talk to at school but at home i feel like im not force to pretend im happy and i cant show that the same i do at school. i try too but its hard when you get yelled at for simply saying one thing thats showing an "attitude'' even tho ig my attitude is i really dont care, like about anything, thats the part i hate but i cant fix myself but i would never ask someone fo...

    every time i talk, my “attitude” is kinda my personality i don’t like it tho, because i am the bubbly girl thats fun to be with and talk to at school but at home i feel like im not force to pretend im happy and i cant show that the same i do at school. i try too but its hard when you get yelled at for simply saying one thing thats showing an “attitude” even tho ig my attitude is i really dont care, like about anything, thats the part i hate but i cant fix myself but i would never ask someone for help idk why tho. so the situation is my life. some days im really really happy then one little thing with my attitude changes because of the littlest thing i feel like i wanna die or not talk to anyone than i end up having a panic attack at midnight,fall asleep, than wake up and try the day i have planed out but some how because of my attitude it never works out and i try again the next day. for some reason i always say “ill do it tomorrow because its a new day and maybe tomorrow ill have a better mineset ( i really never do)” its a repeat but it keeps me going, thats my situation its just the days over and over again i just want a break from trying to please everyone and myself and just not care but i cant bring my self to do that because theres always a little situation that changes that attitude and i go back to the other mineset. ( this is very long i just really needed to let that out and ive been struggling with my mental health and this helps alot.)

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  • Ose
    This morning I nearly was in despair as the many current and chronic duties seemed to be overwhelming by now. Then for some reason I looked into the planner and saw that this morning, I will be off for the first 2 hours and all afternoon! It left me relieved. Lucky me! I was taking a deep breath, relaxed and came back to the moment, grateful for sitting comfortably present on my sofa with my first coffee in the morning. I will observe the sun rising and will listen consciously to the birds singi...

    This morning I nearly was in despair as the many current and chronic duties seemed to be overwhelming by now. Then for some reason I looked into the planner and saw that this morning, I will be off for the first 2 hours and all afternoon! It left me relieved. Lucky me! I was taking a deep breath, relaxed and came back to the moment, grateful for sitting comfortably present on my sofa with my first coffee in the morning. I will observe the sun rising and will listen consciously to the birds singing, announcing spring.

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  • Just be
    I think I’ve been changing my attitude and perspective in general, especially when it comes to blaming and being critical or to thinking about how things “could” have been or “should” have been and just accepting them. In January, my dad died of COVID. Without my new perspective, it would have been a lot harder. I just accepted everything for what it was, without blaming the facility he was living in or the family members who didn’t pay attention to me when I said I thought the facil...

    I think I’ve been changing my attitude and perspective in general, especially when it comes to blaming and being critical or to thinking about how things “could” have been or “should” have been and just accepting them. In January, my dad died of COVID. Without my new perspective, it would have been a lot harder. I just accepted everything for what it was, without blaming the facility he was living in or the family members who didn’t pay attention to me when I said I thought the facility seemed a little lax on COVID precautions.Instead, we made the decision to take him off oxygen. I went to visit him in the hospital the day before he passed. I talked to him and sang to him and prayed with him, even though he was not responsive.The following day, the hospital called to tell us he had passed. I was at peace. I accepted it for what it was and didn’t let myself think about how things could have been. Thinking about changing the past would have only made me anger and bitter. Instead, I felt enveloped in love and a deep sense of peacefulness.

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  • Kristi

    When my son was born at 23 weeks I cried and wondered ‘why me’. But then I reframed me thinking into ‘why not me, why anybody’ and started to think about things to be thankful. This thought switch kept me sane and positive (enough)!

  • Don Jones

    I think one of the biggest shifts for me was when I changed my attitude to death and dying. I feel since that change, daily life has become incredibly rich bathed in gratefulness.

  • Zenith

    I can’t really say a situation has changed as a result of a change in attitude. But changing my attitude helps to wake me up to the possibilities within the situation. The only way circumstances change is if it involves an increase in resources. But learning self compassion and thus compassion toward others can go a long way. When we give out positive energy it does tend to make our problems seem smaller.

  • Jenn

    My heart is softening in compassion for others, including myself. I’m a lot more aware of my need to practice forgiving myself rather than just focusing my energies on forgiving others. I’m catching myself more often when I’m being hard on myself and moving toward myself with compassionate action. It’s wonderful!

  • Linda

    After years of being hurt by a neglectful friend, I finally was able to detach from the situation (using the AA concept of detachment). It has brought me a lot of peace.

  • Cathie
    Years ago, a man in the same career position that I held told me what he was making and told me it was far more than what I was making. We had similar experience and performance. So, I found out it was true. So I was very angry, but had agreed to my salary and thought it was more than fair prior to this information. So I tried to mitigate my anger, vowing to myself that when yearly raise came around, I would negotiate for more. However I could not rid myself of the anger - I tried every tool I...

    Years ago, a man in the same career position that I held told me what he was making and told me it was far more than what I was making. We had similar experience and performance. So, I found out it was true. So I was very angry, but had agreed to my salary and thought it was more than fair prior to this information. So I tried to mitigate my anger, vowing to myself that when yearly raise came around, I would negotiate for more.
    However I could not rid myself of the anger – I tried every tool I knew.
    Well, it just so happened that I read or heard the story of the vineyard workers and how those who were hired toward the end of the day received the same as those hired early morning and the the foreman’s response.
    It was magical – my anger was lifted, I had a prosperous year and received the amount for which I asked at the next review.
    It was an amazing internal transformation that somehow I couldn’t get to on my own.

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    • Michele

      It is so wrong that there is still not equal pay for women. Maybe employment forms should not have M/F on them?

    • Zenith

      I confess that I do not understand the parable of the vineyard workers. I have a major attitude battle going on with that. My life is very prosperous, just not in the financial department. I am surrounded by gifts. Money isn’t one of them, yet.

  • AwesomelyHolly
    Right now I'm in a beautiful transition in my life at the age of 27. I would say I am in the liminal space. At first it was a lot of confusion, sadness, and most of all the urge to control almost every outcome. It still comes here and there, but I am a lot more self aware. I changed my perspective by making a conscious effort to surrender. This has led me to really try to figure out what makes me feel good in these moments without attaching my emotions to a person or an outcome. ITS HARD, but ...

    Right now I’m in a beautiful transition in my life at the age of 27. I would say I am in the liminal space. At first it was a lot of confusion, sadness, and most of all the urge to control almost every outcome. It still comes here and there, but I am a lot more self aware. I changed my perspective by making a conscious effort to surrender. This has led me to really try to figure out what makes me feel good in these moments without attaching my emotions to a person or an outcome. ITS HARD, but I know it’s worth it. I’m proud of myself!

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  • Toni
    I decided to face my fear and pray for courage instead of giving in to despair. That led me to action that I was able to make with the help of the support I now feel as I am heard by people who have ears. I was able to take my cat to the vet and give him his first dose of meds this morning. I was fearful I would not be able to do it without help. God helped me. I can rely on God. Sometimes people are not available and that makes me go to my knees and pray for courage. I did and it helped. I also...

    I decided to face my fear and pray for courage instead of giving in to despair. That led me to action that I was able to make with the help of the support I now feel as I am heard by people who have ears. I was able to take my cat to the vet and give him his first dose of meds this morning. I was fearful I would not be able to do it without help. God helped me. I can rely on God. Sometimes people are not available and that makes me go to my knees and pray for courage. I did and it helped. I also have a reiki session today free of charge by a practitioner who has a heart for animals. She offered without me asking. I am in good hands. My cat is doing better already. I’m so relieved. We were up all hours of the night but at least I know I can administer the next 3 days of meds by myself. I got through the first night and my cat is doing better. Fear is paralyzing I don’t have to give in to it.

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    • Lauryn

      I hope your cat is feeling better —- he will get used to the meds and it will get easier as I’m sure he trusts you <3

    • Carol

      I hear you. I often call on my ancestors and claim their strength. I find that quite helpful. Glad your cat will get a reiki treatment today.

  • Roy Howard

    I decided not to react to an aggressive “baiting” comment but rather responded with calm curiosity. They led to a better conversation.

  • SK
    When i started saying to my self "I get to do this" instead of "I have to do this." I had known a gentleman in the Optimist Club and then at TED Talks at our local community center. It always took him time to formulate his thoughts and say what he had to say. He was obviously hard of hearing as well. Then one day I actually heard his story- he had been a demolition expert in the war; lost many of his command in a situation; gradually lost his hearing. He decided during that attack on his compa...

    When i started saying to my self “I get to do this” instead of “I have to do this.” I had known a gentleman in the Optimist Club and then at TED Talks at our local community center. It always took him time to formulate his thoughts and say what he had to say. He was obviously hard of hearing as well. Then one day I actually heard his story- he had been a demolition expert in the war; lost many of his command in a situation; gradually lost his hearing. He decided during that attack on his company that if he lived he would dedicate his life to God and service. He did. he became a Stephen’s Minister. I was reminded that everyone has a “back story’ and to stop initial judgments and find that story. I now have an entirely new appreciation and respect for this man.

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  • DeVonna
    One summer morning I stood at the kitchen window sipping my coffee. I was sad at the view. A passing storm had struck down a giant tree limb. It's debris covered our small backyard. I thought of the hours of work that lay ahead...then my husband walked in the room. He joined me at the window and put his arm around my shoulder. "Look at all that firewood!" he was excited, joyful even! Where I had seen hours of backbreaking labor and clean up, he saw hours of crackling fire and sweet warmth in the...

    One summer morning I stood at the kitchen window sipping my coffee. I was sad at the view. A passing storm had struck down a giant tree limb. It’s debris covered our small backyard. I thought of the hours of work that lay ahead…then my husband walked in the room. He joined me at the window and put his arm around my shoulder. “Look at all that firewood!” he was excited, joyful even! Where I had seen hours of backbreaking labor and clean up, he saw hours of crackling fire and sweet warmth in the middle of our arctic Michigan winters.

    Bless the man! He changed my view. I made a big pot of chili and our son and son-in-law came over for the day and the three men worked hard and got the yard cleaned in just a day. That evening we enjoyed a meal with our sons and they talked and shared and laughed before heading home. That tree limb turned out to be a blessing…for years.

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    • Toni

      Wow, perspective changes everything!

    • Patricia

      As a person who also burns firewood for warming our main living area in the Wisconsin winters, I LOVE your story and will remember it. Thank you!

  • Trish
    I was at mile 20 in the marathon I was walking & I “hit a wall.” I had no idea how I was going to make it through another 6 miles & I kept stopping to sit & contemplate. Not the best time & place to contemplate.....A very kind police officer came up on his bike, asked if I was ok & gently told me if I didn’t get moving they would throw me in the paddy wagon (something like that). I was mortified!!! And, I switched gears, gathered up all the ooomph I could muster & s...

    I was at mile 20 in the marathon I was walking & I “hit a wall.” I had no idea how I was going to make it through another 6 miles & I kept stopping to sit & contemplate. Not the best time & place to contemplate…..A very kind police officer came up on his bike, asked if I was ok & gently told me if I didn’t get moving they would throw me in the paddy wagon (something like that). I was mortified!!! And, I switched gears, gathered up all the ooomph I could muster & slogged across the finish line. Ain’t no one gonna throw me in the paddy wagon!! It was a great day❤️

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  • Chester

    I recall many years ago when I changed my perspective on driving during times of low visibility. I realized and shifted my perspective to focusing on what I COULD see, rather than what I could NOT – focusing on the areas of light rather than darkness. Near instantly my concerns with driving under such conditions changed – this was an early concrete lesson on the importance of perspective.

  • Carol

    Responsibility was a weighted word for me. I grew up thinking it was a burden until I read somewhere a definition of it that changed my perspective. “Responsibility is the ability to respond.” When presented with a challenging situation, I began asking myself, “How do I respond instead of react to what is happening?” Responsibility was no longer a burden. It was a choice to act instead of react.

  • Howie Geib
    My entire public life was transformed when I was able to shift out of my self-centeredness. This was a transition that was rather sudden, and came about primarily as a result of two things happening simultaneously. One was that I was forced in the public eye over and over so it was like a sink or swim situation. I had been awarded a job as a Tour Director, in front of groups for weeks at a time, like an actor on a stage, and unable to hide. I was paralyzed in the beginning by an ungrounded sense...

    My entire public life was transformed when I was able to shift out of my self-centeredness. This was a transition that was rather sudden, and came about primarily as a result of two things happening simultaneously. One was that I was forced in the public eye over and over so it was like a sink or swim situation. I had been awarded a job as a Tour Director, in front of groups for weeks at a time, like an actor on a stage, and unable to hide. I was paralyzed in the beginning by an ungrounded sense of inadequacy. I literally had to keep at it until I got through it. The second was the amount of work I had done previously to even allow the concept of my perspective being off to be possible: The reading I had done, the spiritual work, the fears faced, and a lot of progress in the area of developing a fairly good competence in accurate self appraisal. Stress on the word accurate there. As a result I broke out of it. Suddenly, one day, the mechanism seemed to become unwired and simply fell away. I was able to simply do my job, and actually end up to where I now value all feedback as valuable and not threatening. If any of you have ever seen the movie “Miracle” about the 1980 US Olympic Hockey team, it was an experience not dissimilar to the scene in the movie after the games in Norway when coach Herb Brooks (Kurt Russel’s character) makes the team do drills after the game for hours…. Forcing a break-though.

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  • devy
    I’ve learned to finally look at others and my parents at the time when I was growing up. My father passed away two years ago and my mother about 35 years prior. As a child, both were not there physically and emotionally. For the longest period of time, it affected me. As an adult, I had to force myself to go through grieving process. First sadness, then anger and a year after dads death I’ve come to acceptance. Same as with The kids who used to tease me. I now look at the situations and indi...

    I’ve learned to finally look at others and my parents at the time when I was growing up. My father passed away two years ago and my mother about 35 years prior. As a child, both were not there physically and emotionally. For the longest period of time, it affected me. As an adult, I had to force myself to go through grieving process. First sadness, then anger and a year after dads death I’ve come to acceptance. Same as with The kids who used to tease me. I now look at the situations and individuals, look at their upbringings and think. Wow what terrible childhoods they had! What a difficult situation my parents went through at the same time as looking after my brother and I. I’ve finally learned to forgive them and continue working on me rather than putting blame on others. A much healthier attitude both mentally and physically

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