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Daily Question, October 1

Can I open my heart to someone to whom I have had it closed? How can I let them know?

  • Arleen

    Reach out and start a conversation. They may or may not know I have closed my heart to them. Especially now during COVID, I don’t often get in touch with people on the fringes of my life. It’s easy to disconnect from people you don’t see on a regular basis or in the habit of speaking to.

  • Hot Sauce

    Right now, I’m working on being in a deeper relationship with my dad, with whom I’ve had a rough relationship with throughout my life. I’m also coming to a place, however, where I see how much trauma he went through as a child and how that probably impacted the way he has responded to things since. It’s just hard to know how to let him know because I struggle so much with insecure avoidant attachment, and so it’s hard to show him affection because of that.

    • devy
      I went through the same process throughout the last year and a half. The difference was the relationship changes occurred after his death almost two years ago. I had to learn to accept the fact that he did the best that he could as a parent considering his own life experiences. I accept that he was struggling with his own problems. At least I took the opportunity several years ago before he passed to sit down with my father and tell him how i felt about him and the things which i found upsetting...

      I went through the same process throughout the last year and a half. The difference was the relationship changes occurred after his death almost two years ago. I had to learn to accept the fact that he did the best that he could as a parent considering his own life experiences. I accept that he was struggling with his own problems. At least I took the opportunity several years ago before he passed to sit down with my father and tell him how i felt about him and the things which i found upsetting. His reaction was minimal. Now I do forgive him but i will not forget. I try to look at things as a life lesson which formed who I a,.

      Read More
    • Javier Visionquest

      I’m in a tough relationship with both my younger son and adult daughter. I let nothing go unsaid. It was awkward to express to my own father how much I love him, to which he responded, “I appreciate that”. . . . .WTF? I let nothing go unsaid, even if I sound like a fool

  • Dusty Su

    Amazingly, I began this process this very morning. A long-time co-worker and I had a misunderstanding. So, I initiated the gentle building of a bridge back into a good shared space through public appreciation of her. The next step will be a private more direct message as follow up. Wish me well please!

  • Don Jones

    I have been staring at the keyboard for a while. The living that I am in contact with, yes. The dead and the living I am not in contact with, I feel dealing with the residual karma is my only option. I can’t live in the past nor create a future anxiety, but I can positively address the past here in the present by dealing with the karma. Perhaps the true function of problems like these is to direct us to our Source.

  • Linda

    It is not always wise to open yourself to people who have done you harm in the past. Choose wisely.

  • Papilio

    This is a very hard question for me. A year ago I intentionally closed my heart to a person who talked non-stop assuming that I had the same opinion as hers although I made efforts to clarify the differences between us. I’d give her help if I’m asked in case of emergency. However, I also need to protect my sanity. So, my answer to today’s question is “Not now.”

  • Mica

    My heart is pretty much ok with the person – we had a friendly chat in passing, yesterday; but I don’t want to reopen my friendship with the person. We have a couple big things in common, but I don’t want to renew our friendship in terms of doing things together… Well, maybe my heart is not altogether open.. O(∩_∩)O

  • Lauryn
    That’s a very difficult thing for me - earlier this year a friend who I got into an argument with and who later told me never to contact him again reached out- this was about a year after he sought help for drug and alcohol addiction. I responded back to him and we chatted a bit, but he never acknowledged the past... or that he was sorry he hurt me. At the time I was open to reconciling if he took the tiniest step in that direction, but he didn’t, and it felt wrong, so communication fizzled ...

    That’s a very difficult thing for me – earlier this year a friend who I got into an argument with and who later told me never to contact him again reached out- this was about a year after he sought help for drug and alcohol addiction. I responded back to him and we chatted a bit, but he never acknowledged the past… or that he was sorry he hurt me. At the time I was open to reconciling if he took the tiniest step in that direction, but he didn’t, and it felt wrong, so communication fizzled off. I no longer want contact with this person, but I’m not upset and don’t wish Ill will on them. Is my heart open? Maybe… I’m just indifferent now. To address the second part of the question then, no, I don’t think it’s necessary to let them know.. or maybe my silence is it’s own way of signaling forgiveness.

    Read More
  • Etta

    Deep breathing and prayer help me open my heart when it is closed. I am not sure how to communicate this to a person I have had my heart closed to, but sometimes the situation seems to shift.

  • Zenith

    I have been doing this for the last couple years. I am slowly getting to know someone I don’t trust anymore. Being cordial takes work. I am very protective of my boundaries, as I should be.

  • Michele

    My heart is not closed. My heart is broken and has been healing for 4 years now. It’s been a very traumatizing, energy draining, long hard time. It’s difficult having both your brain and heart on the same page. One day at a time. Breathe. Smile. The best is yet to come:)

  • Javier Visionquest
    Many in the industry don’t realize that the genuine work of retail is a labor of love, even the days we don’t want to be there, even the days when we hate our jobs and don’t have the energy to deal with a public facing position, much less our own needs. Fortunately, I’m with the sort of business where I don’t come across as too weird when I remind my coworkers that their menial position is actually an opportunity to simply love, serve, and remember. Love these people when they’re act...

    Many in the industry don’t realize that the genuine work of retail is a labor of love, even the days we don’t want to be there, even the days when we hate our jobs and don’t have the energy to deal with a public facing position, much less our own needs. Fortunately, I’m with the sort of business where I don’t come across as too weird when I remind my coworkers that their menial position is actually an opportunity to simply love, serve, and remember. Love these people when they’re acting rude, who’s only super power sometimes is a hefty bank account, serve these people as they spend their days in the deep trance state of ego-identification and consumerism for the fulfillment of their ego-backed desires and wishes is what supports us, too, and remember that they are also slumbering angels unaware of who they truly are.

    Read More
  • Trish

    What a gift I can give to myself & everyone when I open my heart. I’ve closed my heart to only a few people & it’s not closed all the way. There are little glimmers of hope….I can show people I’m open to them by extending my presence & offering peace.

  • devy
    Sometimes I need to close my heart to be able to pull away and contemplate the reasons why I have. A hurt, a deceit, a behaviour that I find repulsive? It only takes time for me to gather my thoughts, perhaps question the reason why the other person is acting this way looking at their point of view or reason. It’s learning to forgive and accepting them as also being part of the big picture. I’ve reached out several times to those who I have shutout or who have shut me out but realize it’s ...

    Sometimes I need to close my heart to be able to pull away and contemplate the reasons why I have. A hurt, a deceit, a behaviour that I find repulsive? It only takes time for me to gather my thoughts, perhaps question the reason why the other person is acting this way looking at their point of view or reason. It’s learning to forgive and accepting them as also being part of the big picture. I’ve reached out several times to those who I have shutout or who have shut me out but realize it’s also up to them to reciprocate back..and if they don’t well I’ve tried.

    Read More
  • Kevin
    I can, and I have, opened my heart to someone to whom I have had it closed. I shared with this person, after my ministerial and professional practice had been publicly maligned, and after four years had gone by, that I forgave this person. Doing so released me from a kind of emotional prison, too. Forgiving this person, within hours later, also resulted in this person apologizing to me, and, most importantly to me, fully retracting her/his previous injurious and baseless public statements. And w...

    I can, and I have, opened my heart to someone to whom I have had it closed. I shared with this person, after my ministerial and professional practice had been publicly maligned, and after four years had gone by, that I forgave this person. Doing so released me from a kind of emotional prison, too. Forgiving this person, within hours later, also resulted in this person apologizing to me, and, most importantly to me, fully retracting her/his previous injurious and baseless public statements. And while the “retraction” to me was private and not made publicly, I figured that the most important thing was to put this behind us, and that my reputation, which had been injured to a degree, would take care of itself over time, which it did.

    Read More
  • Howie Geib
    This is a difficult question for me in the sense that I experience it as a need to be open always. On the occasion that I have a sense of having closed my heart to anyone, I immediately shift into the reconciliation mode. Now the second part of the question is trickier. I have a few touchy scars from rejections in my past that have never really been resolved. Where I have been rejected, and while I would love to have closure on a few of them, I will not initiate the communication. We have all ...

    This is a difficult question for me in the sense that I experience it as a need to be open always. On the occasion that I have a sense of having closed my heart to anyone, I immediately shift into the reconciliation mode. Now the second part of the question is trickier. I have a few touchy scars from rejections in my past that have never really been resolved. Where I have been rejected, and while I would love to have closure on a few of them, I will not initiate the communication. We have all ‘moved on’ so to speak. It saddens me in the sense that I dislike it when someone may be walking around with a negative thought about me, and yet it is none of my business. Let me be clear that I do not owe them amends or money or something. So they are in my heart, just not all tied up with a bow and sorted.

    Read More
  • Gregoire

    Forgiveness is something that I am generally pretty good at. I can’t think of anyone have not opened my heart to. However, there is a group of people I have strong disagreements with both in thier spoken words and actions. By opening my mind and taking the time to listen to them maybe I can be more loving and compassionate towards them

  • Antoinette
    This is very confronting! Thank you gratefulness team for making me step out of my comfort zone again. I have the person in mind now and I believe I can show him by being mindful of my speech, thoughts and actions related to him. I feel his energy or at least I think I do and it usually literally drains the life out of me. So maybe if I take a step back from all of my projections, thoughts, history, ideas, and notions about him I could let go more? Maybe I could open my heart safely by letti...

    This is very confronting! Thank you gratefulness team for making me step out of my comfort zone again.
    I have the person in mind now and I believe I can show him by being mindful of my speech, thoughts and actions related to him. I feel his energy or at least I think I do and it usually literally drains the life out of me.
    So maybe if I take a step back from all of my projections, thoughts, history, ideas, and notions about him I could let go more? Maybe I could open my heart safely by letting go of my fixated views about him?
    It’s amazing how deeply we hold things in our bodies ! How our pain and suffering can become locked into our bones, muscles, and our whole body without even noticing we actually have the opportunity to be in charge!
    Loving kindness and compassion to myself is needed for me to open up my heart to him otherwise I feel very fearful and vulnerable to him. There is a deep wound within me. I would so very much love to have it healed.

    Read More

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