Deepening Your Sense of Belonging

To which part of this vastness do you feel closest? You may think of another person, living or dead, but don’t restrict yourself to human relationships if someone else comes to mind: a woodpecker who visits your bird feeder every morning; a tulip poplar who lets you lean against its trunk when you’re lonely; a stone you carry with you everywhere. “The world is charged with the grandeur of God,” writes Gerard Manley Hopkins, and you can find friendship in the most unlikely places. You may even feel closest to an all-pervading Presence that goes by many names and yet again is beyond naming.

Write down the name (or, if a name isn’t appropriate, a reminder) of the one you’ve chosen. Now let all the goodness of this relationship flood into your heart. What have you received from this friend, for which you’re grateful? What have you given? Your ability to give is, of course, part of the continuum of gratitude as well. Gifts flow to you and also through you to others. As you enter into this give-and-take, you enter a universe grace-filled and fully alive.

Clearly name the gifts you receive through your friendship. Once you have done so, go one step further and ponder the gift your friend is, in and of himself or herself.

You may feel joyful while doing this exercise, but it’s also okay to feel sad: for instance, if the person closest to you has passed on. Just bear in mind that the sadness is directly related to the extent of your love. No matter what, you can hold on to the gift of love between you and another. Love is an indestructible power. Allow yourself to feel that power of love for a little while, before going on.