Well one way is puppets. I act out situations that have happened with puppets. It allows me time to work out from various angles what happened and I explore various ways to respond. I actually look for puppets that look like various archetypes that I encounter daily, I might look for a puppet that is a snake to fill in for more antisocial types and then I can work out whatever it is with the snake puppet.

I love it as it helps keep me from getting nervous or working anyone up into being this big scary monster as the puppet allows me to humanize them and the experience … by communicating with the puppet them, working for solutions and going for some humor … it keeps me from becoming fearful which I view as something negative for my overall health. I think you can be self protective while also not being fearful of others or the world. I think the darkness is hate and fear, so I tend to avoid those things.

One thing I notice is I really aim for inclusivity and a worldview that opens and is open to life and everyone around me. I think solutions are possible that take into account your needs and the other person’s tendencies that are peaceful, joyful and positive.

Shoots so I’ve tried this like a few times and all with mixed results, answering this … I’ll post than delete. But I guess if I were to actually put into words what it is … it’s that I’m happy because of everyone else. That sounds like some lame stuff but that realization has been seriously hitting me like a ton of bricks — the source of my happiness is everyone else. I don’t even think I’m a people person anymore than anyone else … I just actually think most of anyone’s happiness is built off the fact we are a we.

It’s easy, open my eyes and look around. Everything is reliant on others, from the electricity running through the lamp to making of the lamp itself … everyone around me is necessary for my survival to some extent. Everyone around me is necessary to some extent to my life and happiness, if that’s the case than yeah … there’s a lot to be grateful for. Maybe that’s a bit selfish but that’s how I view it.

It’s like all these rich people living in mansions who treat others badly off that idea they have money so don’t need others, well … who built that mansion, who keeps the roads going, who brings in your groceries, who grows and transports your food, who made the clothes you wear, who buys the products you’ve sold … most humans lack the capacity to really understand, they need others so they live in a kind of psychological bubble. But I actually know that I am very, very reliant on others.

We all move forward or we move back together. That’s the thing, people don’t think this is a team sport, life, they think this is all individual races being run … and it’s not, it’s a team effort.

I think I’m a fairly loving person, even if the result isn’t always the most optimal … I definitely try very hard to be mindful of other people’s needs and circumstances. I have my limits and I work to push past where those currently are to be a more understanding person, that’s something I struggle with.

I think a lot of that is self care, I make sure to have a healthy diet, exercise daily, adequate sleep and proper hydration — these are the bedrock and I make those priorities. I don’t drink, do any drugs (including pot) and mostly stay away from a lot of media. I feel fortunate to have those as options for my life. I also take a few vitamin supplements which I’ve found works for me, everyone is different but I think a prebiotic and probiotic supplement can be beneficial for most.

The other thing is I don’t easily back down from challenges or fears, if something scares me I tend to just push myself to overcome the fear … it may not be the most graceful but I’m gonna show up and push myself past the fear. I think that’s a big aspect in loving others, a person needs courage and a kind of confidence or you spend your life afraid of the messiness of life and others.

I’d say courage and compassion are defining characteristics of my life and the choices I make so I think I love well. I could love better though. 😀

For me, it’s mostly been about developing confidence, by having more confidence to go out and “seize the day” I’m able to integrate the love that was there into my larger theme and patterns. It’s when I dwell and lose confidence that I tend to have difficulty letting go. Letting go seems to be related to capacity to flex and change. There’s something about openness and continually growing that helps me with those feelings of clinging. It’s when I hold onto the past that I have trouble letting go. New experiences, new challenges, new ways of knowing myself all seem to help in letting go.

From base to upper layers:

Exercise (gotta get in 45-1hr a day, it’s a priority,) healthy diet, getting adequate sleep, proper hydration — those are the base levels.

Working out my feelings, finding solutions that are peaceful, seeking understanding of others create the next layers.

Getting out in nature, meditation, playing (whether that’s making jokes or laughing about silly things,) various hobbies that help mindfulness are the next layers though they kind of intermingle with the above layer.

And all throughout is helping others but I’m not effective at helping anyone (nor even want to) when my layers aren’t running smoothly.

When things are balanced I tend to be pretty positive and find delight in a lot … when one of the layers, especially a base layer is out of whack I tend to have difficulty finding delight in small things.

I can really only speak for my own experience but I find crisis exceptional at inspiring compassion. When things are going smoothly along it can be easy to sort of become forgetful that a lot of people have it rough. When crisis hits you sort of are confronted with the reality that a lot of people don’t have things so easy. Crisis is for me an opportunity to explore what other people live daily and develop deeper compassion and greater dedication to alleviating others suffering or at the very least developing patience with human foibles. The person who cut me off in traffic may be sleep deprived from working two jobs supporting a child with cancer, crisis opens up the reality that most people are just trying to survive the circumstances they are in and to give leeway for a lot.

I guess as I’ve had setbacks it’s changed my optimism levels, when you are young you sort of feel you can do anything … I still mostly have that tendency, always a sense that I can accomplish anything but especially given the recent situation of heartbreak romantically, where the guy I’d had a crush on for years is totally in love and even wants to propose to her … I’m adjusting, in a transitional period of lowered confidence haha. So in some ways where I’d interpret things much more positive or harmless before, I’ve become more negative at times.

I think there are aspects of my experience that if others have lived through something similar from my same culture would in those areas have relatable emotional experiences, like grief, as someone who was adopted, I lost my biological parents than as someone who lost my adoptive parents, there just has been a theme of grief and loss in my life. So I think people who understand grief and what it is to have fears related to loss, likely can understand my perspective on certain issues. But likely not on tons of other things. I feel anyone who feels a sense of others being relatable whoever they are is likely similar in ways to myself as that is pretty big part of the drumbeat, I feel a sense of casualness and connectedness with other people … not sure if that is some kind of boundaries issues as I just feel comfortable and accepting of others very quickly.

Man that blows. Glad you figured that out early. I too have dealt with scammers and one of the greatest gifts I received out of that is true empathy for the people who marry conmen and that goes on for years, now that is some PTSD inducing stuff. Before that I’d sometimes as bad as it sounds think, oh well, we all choose our partners and they must have known … no brah, these people are mind game ninjas, throwing nunchucks and throwing stars at every weak point, whapppaaaaw. Mind game ninjas. You gotta break out the ninjitsu Bruce Lee skills with those fist of fury, whachaaawww block your attacks! 😛

Anyway, with scammer types I try and imagine that we are both ninjas and we are fighting it out. And I’m like oh your crouched rooster meets my drunken monkey oooh-ooh-aah-ah. Yeah, you like my drunken monkey moves! haha. They don’t know I’m thinking that but it at least makes me laugh.