I’m here to turn sorrow to joy and to relinquish my attempts at controlling everything..
When I remind myself that my marriage is not “me and this person who can be frustrating” but instead a partnership, I feel kinder, more hopeful, more generous, and less apt to find fault.
My family, my dad who is in the hospital. But the biggest challenge right now is this PUPPY! I didn’t ask for her, my husband brought her home and manages to be gone all the time so I have to train her. I’ve always taken in older dogs and, ok, I did say once that it would be nice to have a dog that wasn’t traumatized by the time we got it. I have a goal, literally a picture in my head that my boss showed me once of his dog, which had “I LOVE YOU!” in her eyes. Th...
My family, my dad who is in the hospital. But the biggest challenge right now is this PUPPY! I didn’t ask for her, my husband brought her home and manages to be gone all the time so I have to train her. I’ve always taken in older dogs and, ok, I did say once that it would be nice to have a dog that wasn’t traumatized by the time we got it. I have a goal, literally a picture in my head that my boss showed me once of his dog, which had “I LOVE YOU!” in her eyes. They were so sparkly and full of joy at seeing her master. I want to see that in this puppy’s eyes and instead I have to keep telling her don’t nip, don’t bite, don’t chase the cat, no, no, no, no, DON’T POOP IN THE HOUSE! I do try to stop sometimes and say you’re a good dog, such a pretty dog, and I love you. I need to say it more.
I’m probably wrong about myself, but too scared to do more than whatever it is I’m doing now.
I draw strength from God, from my fellow seekers, from my family, and even from my late daughter since she was a very practical person who would expect me to remain the parent that made her proud of being my daughter.
I could try a breathing exercise. I also have a new essential oil to try.
While in an abusive relationship I moved to Dallas, where I had the opportunity to host an international student, and 10 years later she invited me to visit her in England, and while in England I met the man I’ve been married to for the past ten years, and he is good and kind.
My own lack of power and control. Oh that I could be a Time Lord and rewrite history!
That there are a multitude of stories and realities. That everyone has their own truth. You cannot know what informs my thoughts, and I cannot hope to understand what informs yours.
My entire body chemistry changes. My attitude changes. The vibrations around me change. The people around me are impacted. The universe is impacted.
I can thank the people who have tolerated my bad behavior in the past, my children who love me for just being their mom, my husband who overlooks my irritability. I thank myself for seeing depression for what it is and choosing to live another day, so that today I can see the beauty all around me.
Love is the God particle that binds all things together. We are knit together, all of us with this universe. What happens to one of us happens to all. Where there is more love, we are stronger. Where there is less love, we ache. Let us therefore lean towards love.
I want to leave things better than they were. I want the world to be kinder.
By letting go of stress and worry, by letting go of my desire for control. I will exist within the What Is and make myself a positive part of it.
This moment offers the opportunity to choose gratitude instead of self-pity, joy instead of anger, peace instead of sorrow.
Cooking a special dish like corn pudding or yam casserole on Thanksgiving Day. Now matter what financial challenges we have at the time, we can come up with something that evokes old memories and creates new ones.
To begin again.
Years ago, I felt led to follow a poor child and give $100 to her family. I thought they would be grateful but when I was asked to wait I could see a hospital bed in the living room, the mother dying from cancer. On the walls were photos of this giant family and clippings about the 25 children these folks had adopted. My “great” contribution was a tiny drop in a thirsty bucket. The ripple effect in that moment was that I felt so humbled, and so grateful for these parents.
I would love to hear your thoughts on how to love my puppy better.
As often as I wish I had never met the first man, I can’t help but be grateful for the lifelong consequence of meeting my “daughter” and subsequently my husband. All things can truly be made beautiful in time.
It’s amazing how beautiful a story about manure can be!
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