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Gratefulness
Looking at the rose plant I took from my mums flat when we had to clear it out following her passing in April. She was always moaning how it never really budded or flowered, even though she spoke to it every day. Since I brought it to my home it has flourished and it has 8 buds waiting to burst into a beauty of flowers, the colour of pink is just seeping through and I love it. My mum would probably be astonished it has done so well, with me as I am not green fingered but I think the place tha...
Looking at the rose plant I took from my mums flat when we had to clear it out following her passing in April. She was always moaning how it never really budded or flowered, even though she spoke to it every day. Since I brought it to my home it has flourished and it has 8 buds waiting to burst into a beauty of flowers, the colour of pink is just seeping through and I love it. My mum would probably be astonished it has done so well, with me as I am not green fingered but I think the place that I live is special and that her words are in the plants roots and because of that mix the plant is happy.
My family, those who are here and those who have passed on, forever in my heart.
By making it an honest path and one that others can believe in, when I am here and when I am gone.
The beauty and peace and life in such a space that can be so unique.
By getting back into my routine, which involves getting out into my surroundings. I live in one of the most beautiful areas of the UK and i am always taken aback by its beauty when I am in it. I look forward to making more time for it, which means more time for me and my mind.
That I don’t have to live to others expectations and that it is ok to live to my own. The truth for me is that my own expectations are totally fine.
To trust life is to trust myself and believe in myself as I should also believe in life. I do know know why life exists but if I can trust that there is a reason we are here, and a reason we leave, it calms my heart and soul a little.
Until I moved to where I live now I have never really been in a community, but now I very much am and I am glad for it. It allows me to meet and interact with people, to be helpful where I can. It can be hard at times with the community commitments I have, but at the same time those commitments help distract me from the negatives in my world. Community is spirit.
So many people right now. It was my mums funeral on Friday and so many people have been supportive during this difficult time, i am very grateful for the kindness of others, even those I don’t know.
As a child i had a wonderful imagination. I could do with that now, in this moment. I feel hurt and anger and i am torn and i really could do with being in an imaginary world to escape, just for a while.
With my nieces, they do their best bring out less serious side of me.
Right now, I am passionate about getting things right for my mum’s funeral and getting it right for those involved, other than me. It seems daft but it is how I cope, though I don’t know if it is coping or distracting?
Receiving thanks from my mum on Sunday for her mothers day gift, hearing her so alert and happy, before she passed today.
A smile, a hello, a listening ear where needed. There is always enough time in the day for others.
honesty, patience and belief.
To stop thinking of worst case scenarios, for which I have got better but still need to improve upon.
My own life story inspires me to treasure life. I know how life can be taken away far too quickly. I try to make my life story focus on life and the treasures within it on a daily basis. Treasuring life is a way of life in a way.
Where we share and act equally.
I have been able to say ‘no’, which may sound like a harsh thing, but it was in my best interest and made no difference to the person i was saying it too as my presence was unexpected anyway and they would have managed if I wasn’t there. I always try to please others but quite often it is to my own detriment. After attending some wellness classes it was obvious I learnt something and it was of benefit.
I find peace at different times of the day depending on my situation, but the time that i know that will offer me peace is the night. Looking up at the night sky and loosing myself to the vast array of stars really does calm me. I recall when i lived alone that i used to sit outside in a rug and look up at the sky for hours. I have not done that for many years and only occasionally glance up. Maybe I should take up this quiet enjoyment again. I will be on my own at home next week so can take ...
I find peace at different times of the day depending on my situation, but the time that i know that will offer me peace is the night. Looking up at the night sky and loosing myself to the vast array of stars really does calm me. I recall when i lived alone that i used to sit outside in a rug and look up at the sky for hours. I have not done that for many years and only occasionally glance up. Maybe I should take up this quiet enjoyment again. I will be on my own at home next week so can take advantage of that. I do not know why I find it difficult to share this experience, maybe because it was my own space before and that is why? Either way, I find peace and comfort in the stars.
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