I love this question. Thank you. I am waiting for that connection in my heart that says, ‘yes, this is what you are to do next.” I want something that I can focus on wholeheartedly and that will engage my energy, give me a purpose beyond myself that helps me use my time well. And I’d love for it to be something creative. In the past I have had that energy and heart commitment to survival, healing, raising children and writing but now, at age 70, even though I have things that keep me busy and much gratitude for my life, I feel underused. I do what I need to do but I feel like there’s more….something else that I am to embrace and be engaged with. Something that engages my heart, wholeheartedly. I wonder if perhaps that is now past? I hope not!

As I reflect on how I can make myself more available to the possibilities that may be calling me, the word silence comes to mind. Be in the silence and listen. Stop talking so much, sharing so much, offering so much and listen. Be curious. What is wanted of me at this time? With the precious time I have left, what shall I pay attention to? What direction will I go in? Contain energy and listen. Be still. Be awake and still. No need to rush…….Let the sand settle and the water be clear before you begin to make choices about time. Be in silence and listen……

Pausing for stillness I am aware that my right shoulder is tight. I am aware that I hold tension in my neck and shoulders often. Pausing for stillness I am aware that as I stay and breathe my shoulder relaxes and I am reminded to come back to this moment and just breathe. I am reminded there is no place to go, nothing to do, just to stop and be here right this moment………Pausing for stillness I am aware that the sun has come up and the day has started…….I am aware of the quiet.

The peak experience I am remembering now is when my granddaughter came to spend the night. She came into my room in the early morning. She fell back asleep and I laid there with her, my dog and the day breaking…..as I looked out the window, I could see the leaves on one of my trees just beginning to turn. Her sweet breathing along with the dogs, as I laid there looking out the window was the moment that I remembered as a peak experience. What I saw clearly was the beauty of the present moment. Here it is. This. This moment is it. This precious moment fully embraced….more than enough. I felt my heart full and a deep contentment.

My life is working in these ways…..
1.I’m healthy. I can move, walk, eat, sleep, breathe…..huge gratitude for my health.
2.I have love in my life….my children, grandchildren, sisters, brother, friends, neighbors…….I love and feel loved.
3.I have a home that nurtures me and my soul…gives me a place to live and invite others in.
4.I have work to do that I love and that allows me to use my gifts, skills and talents.
5. I have the internet and it allows me to connect with others and learn on line.
6. I have a dog, Gracie, that is my pal and sweet friend.
7. I have books to read that I enjoy and learn from.
8. I have safe, open places to take walks each day and mountains close by to hike up.
9. I have enough money to buy the food I need.
10. I have a morning practice that brings me joy, peace and connection. It allows me to come home to myself and remember.

I believe in do overs. I just found out that I missed the earlier emails that have been sent out and so I am going through them now as I had looked forward to these practices. I believe that it is never too late to do our best.
I believe in love. And it’s amazing power.
I believe that when people see clearly they behave impeccably for the good of all.
I believe in trust. Trust of one’s Self, others and life.
I believe in beauty and it’s ability to inspire and awaken our hearts and help us to remember what is true.

This morning I had to get up early to attend an International Coaching Conference. I was doing it because I need to get some continuing education credits to renew my professional certification. The word ‘need’ reflects my perspective at the start……I was doing it because I was obligated to do it in order not to lose something. And yet, on the call I realized how interesting, insightful, engaging this work was. I realized how much I love it and rather than an obligation that feels heavy and is filled with ‘to do’s’, I realized it’s a privilege. The opportunity to learn with others in this way, at this time, is unique and I felt grateful and appreciative for the opportunity to just be in the room. It was freeing to turn attention away from those inner voices of complaining to, ‘wow, this is amazing. I love being here’. Tomorrow I have a call even earlier and having had this experience has shifted already the way I am looking at getting up for this next call. I even have a call later in the week that starts at 2:00 am and even that one feels doable now 🙂