Good morning, dear friends! Today my day starts with joy and deep gratitude. Yesterday, medical investigations have shown no major problems, and I am so grateful that all is o,k. Before I went, I was considering “worst case” and was willing to accept any disease and to deal with the consequences which could arise. Then, it was such a relief to receive the results. So many people day by day have to face such a situation, and I bow even more to them. May courage and faith, and healing be with all of those who suffer. For this I pray.

Good morning, dear friends here in the Lounge. Yesterday, something broke open, which was hermetic since I can remember. Some invisible barrier around me literally blasted. It feels raw in a way, may be comparable with a second birth, where you land up somewhere naked and vulnerable. I feel deeply grateful towards all of you here, as the process through sharing, reflecting your posts, and staying away for a while, your comments and loving care helped enormously to change what made me suffer since I can remember. Without you here, I am sure this could not have happened, I tried so many ways and therapies which could not open this core prison I was in mentally – and social-wise.
Now work to develop what has been left out begins, I am breathing and looking forward to unfold and do what is needed to become fully present. I humbly would like to express my gratitude towards each and everyone joining here, and I am deeply grateful to all of you sharing here for being together in this honest and pure way and I hope I can be the same for you. Thank you for sharing and thank you so much for being here with me 🙏 It is my deep wish that healing may be possible for everyone who suffers. For this I pray. May you all be blessed, you all who share and visit here, and all beyond.. Greetings from my heart, Ose

Dear friends sharing here, first I would like to thank you all for your kind patience and compassion which you have expressed when I needed to stop sharing here. I was so touched. I did not expect it. Thank you dearly, dear friends for this. It gives me some faith to share more of myself, which I feel is quite difficult for me due to my reserved nature and avoidance to show up vulnerable.

I would kindly ask your support to find ways to be more present, not only to be present in silence, which I love, but purely being here with you. Somehow I don´t know how to go on, what to do.

I feel there is something really underdeveloped in me, which is that I don´t know how to share of myself, seems so. Sounds a bit odd… Caring for others I feel is grace and an honor, and giving to others I feel is pure joy. But to open the door to me as a person … I was somewhere stuck in a kind of idea of … if I don´t feel connected, if I avoid this, I cannot be left or sent away.

Today I met (again) a kind of existential panic which I can only attribute to a kind of uncontrolled basal emotional reaction, an early-childhood-like fear of being left and then completely lost, projected on friends I feel close to or loved ones. Old theme, repeated fixed reaction of complete despair, and I can only hope that others involved may have enough emotional distance to not take any of it personal, as it is not personal related at all. In these situations, Once triggered, it just escalates. Then I feel helpless, confused and lost.
At least, I was able today to ask for help, which has been granted and for which I am so grateful. Pilgrim, and Anna, especially you were there today, but others also, and I can only say that I will give my best to find ways to change this. If something comes up like you mentioned today, dear Anna, I would be really grateful to hear about, as it helps me a lot to understand better what you might have missed.

One is to open up more towards you here, if you don´t mind. Another is to take care of myself better, and I will keep your suggestions in mind, dear Pilgrim.

So thank you all dearly who read until here and for listening. Thank you for being here with me. I am grateful, and gratefully yours, Ose

Dear friends in the lounge, as I wrote already in the daily questions area, I feel I need to have an interruption of communication for some time. You who share here will be in my heart and I will accompany you, reading and following your posts, but for some time, I need to restrain from sharing. May His light and love shine in and around you, guiding you through the ups and downs of life´s opportunities and challenges. In my heart, I am with you. Hope to be able to be back in a while. I am deeply grateful for all your care and for the possibility this sanctuary offers to share our hearts. A big thank you to each of you, dear friends. With much love, Ose

It is now, a needed time-out to have a break. If I don´t take care, I feel I could fall ill. Work is extremely busy these days and I am cooking on several fireplaces, so to say. For some time, it might be necessary to focus on healing, centering my activities and so restrain from communicating here and in the Gratitude lounge for a while. I am deeply grateful for all your love and support you offered here so abundantly, which has helped such a lot. All the best for those who visit share here regularly and as well for all you dear people out there. May you be blessed, dear ones. I hope to be free to share here again in some future time, God willing. Ose

Thank you dear HelenH for the big hugs! I am happy that you share the joy. But the honor goes to all of you rather than me. Sometimes, it was nearly impossible to restrain to give up, and more often than not, dear friends who have been confronted with the deep sadness and my reserved dealing with it helped me to find ways, engage in therapies, and they encouraged me, accompanied me with their love. Only that I had met true friends helped me survive an inner situation which many years ago was nearly unbearable, for me and for others accompanying me in this, too. I learned to bear it, and my friends also. But it was quite a disaster underneath. My gratitude goes to all of you, and to all of you, I deeply bow.