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Gratefulness
I don’t always seek joy. What is more important to me than joy is openness and beauty. What is beautiful is not always joyful. But when I stay open and ready to receive whatever the moment has to offer, I am often surprised by some glint of beauty within all that seems broken.
Waking to the scent of coffee brewing, of mixing the sugar and milk and slowly savoring the first sip. Spotting the first skunk cabbage, hepatica, twin leaf in the still barren, brown and cold winter woods, witnessing signs of the coming warmth while bundled in my winter coat and scarf. Late afternoon light in the woods. The way the air shifts and changes on a walk, warm in the open meadow and like a smooth cold stone on my cheek in the shade by a stream. Knowing whe...
Waking to the scent of coffee brewing, of mixing the sugar and milk and slowly savoring the first sip. Spotting the first skunk cabbage, hepatica, twin leaf in the still barren, brown and cold winter woods, witnessing signs of the coming warmth while bundled in my winter coat and scarf. Late afternoon light in the woods. The way the air shifts and changes on a walk, warm in the open meadow and like a smooth cold stone on my cheek in the shade by a stream. Knowing when and where to expect the moon, following its phases. Molly, my dog, her innocence, her purity, her joy in just being, her renewed excitement over the same things again and again, dancing in circles in anticipation of the same meal that she eats every single day. Sinking into a book when I know I am reading just the right thing at just the right time. Noticing what seems to be insignificant – a tiny mushroom growing from a fallen branch, the odd ice formations on the bank of a creek, the delicate little bloom peeking from the leaf litter or amongst the refuse of the ditch. Witnessing the sparsely abundant growth of spring, when the once delicate and unsure little seedlings just begin to burst with the confidence of survival. The first bite of cold watermelon on a sultry summer day.
Some weeds remind me not to neglect the beauty of the commonplace and wonder in the ordinary. If a dandelion were rare, we would marvel at it. That bright yellow bloom and amazing seed pod. Children know this wonder. Some weeds remind me to retain the wonder of childhood when my heart leapt up at the sight of a dandelion and I was drawn to them and chased after their delicate seeds dancing on the wind, when I held buttercups under my chin and collected clover blooms and tied them into brace...
Some weeds remind me not to neglect the beauty of the commonplace and wonder in the ordinary. If a dandelion were rare, we would marvel at it. That bright yellow bloom and amazing seed pod. Children know this wonder. Some weeds remind me to retain the wonder of childhood when my heart leapt up at the sight of a dandelion and I was drawn to them and chased after their delicate seeds dancing on the wind, when I held buttercups under my chin and collected clover blooms and tied them into bracelets and crowns. They weren’t “weeds” to me then. They were marvels and mediums for creation, imagination, exploration. George Eliot said that we never could have loved the earth so well if we had no childhood in it. And I believe that’s true. The key is to somehow keep that connection alive as we grow older.
Some weeds also remind me to always look for the flower in the ditch, as it were. Flowers like chicory, mullein, and fleabanes that grow in the dry, dim, and dismal places, where it seems that nothing else would grow. There is beauty even there.
Everything expands.
To share one of my own small experiences in this regard, in 2017 I started hiking regularly. It’s something I had always loved to do but rarely got the chance and suddenly I had the opportunity to do it more frequently. One April day, I decided to take a break and have my lunch by a stream just a few feet off the trail. I took off my back pack and was about to set it down when my eyes caught a flash of yellow. I looked closer and when I got down on my han...
To share one of my own small experiences in this regard, in 2017 I started hiking regularly. It’s something I had always loved to do but rarely got the chance and suddenly I had the opportunity to do it more frequently. One April day, I decided to take a break and have my lunch by a stream just a few feet off the trail. I took off my back pack and was about to set it down when my eyes caught a flash of yellow. I looked closer and when I got down on my hands and knees I realized that yellow speck was a tiny but very unusual flower (what I now know is a trout lily – erythronium americanum). I could not believe that something was already growing – and blooming! – in the otherwise brown, barren expanse of woods. Suddenly I started to look around, except now I was looking down instead of up, and I found that there were actually flowers EVERYWHERE. Tiny white, pale pink, and purple blooms peeking through the leaf litter. Though I had been out hiking all day, I hadn’t seen them. But that one little yellow bloom shifted my focus. Instead of looking out over the expanse of woods or waiting for the grand views, my attention was now on the forest floor, where unbeknownst to me before there was so much life and color. Spring beauty, hepatica, anemones – the spring ephemerals. I didn’t know any of their names at the time, but after that experience I became determined to name and know as many local, native wildflowers that I could. I suddenly saw what I thought was just an expanse of bare trees and dead leaves in a whole new light.
The first part of my day is devoted to obligations and chores, but as I move through them I reflect on the benefits of having them done. For the past three days I’ve spent afternoons/evenings on my hands and knees working in my garden. Today rain. Now it is time to watch and wait to see what will happen, what will thrive and what will need to be re-thought. Now that my yard labor is done (for the moment), this afternoon I will walk. Though it might be a soggy one, I look forward to o...
The first part of my day is devoted to obligations and chores, but as I move through them I reflect on the benefits of having them done. For the past three days I’ve spent afternoons/evenings on my hands and knees working in my garden. Today rain. Now it is time to watch and wait to see what will happen, what will thrive and what will need to be re-thought. Now that my yard labor is done (for the moment), this afternoon I will walk. Though it might be a soggy one, I look forward to observing the wet woods, maybe looking for some fungi to photograph.
In a strange juxtaposition, I’ve found that some of the most painful times of my life have brought with them a heightened sense of beauty. It wasn’t something that I actively or consciously sought, but along with the despair, all of my senses became elevated, like I acquired a hyper-sensitivity to the beauty of a single moment. I can’t adequately explain it, and it didn’t last, except in memory. It’s just a sense and depth of beauty that I’ve never expe...
In a strange juxtaposition, I’ve found that some of the most painful times of my life have brought with them a heightened sense of beauty. It wasn’t something that I actively or consciously sought, but along with the despair, all of my senses became elevated, like I acquired a hyper-sensitivity to the beauty of a single moment. I can’t adequately explain it, and it didn’t last, except in memory. It’s just a sense and depth of beauty that I’ve never experienced in times of ease.
Good morning all. I just thought I’d share another earth altar that I made while at the beach last week. I’ve really been enjoying interacting with nature in this way to create something, while impermanent, to share with others. Hope everyone has a great week.
I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better, Holly. And I hope you enjoy getting back into your garden. About a week ago I harvested the first strawberry of the season from the plant that I put in last year and it gave me such joy.
Such simple words, but so much depth in them. Thank you for this.
It’s funny and delightful that you should share this. As I sit looking out my kitchen window this morning, there are weedy patches of buttercups speckled all over the yard. I always mow around them. 🙂
Good morning Holly, Mom has specific things that she habitually likes to plant so per her request I got two flats of the brightest color New Guinea impatiens and eight red geraniums. I suppose I’m kind’ve a creature of habit too and as I always do I got blue lobelia and pink petunias for my porch planters. And I always plant two things in honor of my late grandmothers, zinnias for one, and flossflower for the other.
I am also very affected by the moon and often don’...
I am also very affected by the moon and often don’t sleep well during a full moon, at least in part because of the way the light comes in through the vaulted ceiling, it’s like a flood light is shining over our house. 🙂 In any case, it is good to take a day of rest and I hope you feel refreshed after yours. Have a beautiful day.
I’m well today, Holly, thank you for asking. 🙂 I spent the morning flower shopping at a local nursery for my mother. It’s something we usually do together, but she had surgery last month and is recovering well, but it’s been hit or miss with going out. Still, it was lovely to be outdoors in the sunshine and amongst all the vibrant flowers. I hope that you had a lovely day too and that all your projects are going along well.
Holly, your trees look great and your gardening & projects sound delightful! All the best.
What a really beautiful thought. I think about that sometimes when I see a sunset – it happens everyday, but it has never before happened in quite the same way as it did on this day. The same flowers may come up in the same woods and fields year after year, but they never come up in the exact same way as before. Everything that we see before us on this day – no matter what we are looking at is in some sense “fresh and new,” as you say.
Peace and blessings to you Mary. I hope your recovery continues to progress well.
This resonates with me. It gives me a sense of peace to observe the phases of the moon, or the progression of the spring ephemerals, but for a long time I couldn’t really explain why. Terry Tempest Williams put it well and succinctly, I think, when she said, “Peace is the perspective found in patterns.” I’ve felt that to be true.
Thank you, Mary. I’m wishing you a successful surgery and recovery. Peace and blessings to you.
Thank you again, Holly, for your kind and encouraging words. I can’t wait to see your earth altar too when you are able to create one. Now that I’m back from vacation I have a number of house and garden projects to undertake as well, but at some point I hope to construct an altar for summer. Yes, I am familiar with Andy Goldsworthy and admire his work. Years ago I did a project with preschoolers inspired by his “Midsummer Snowballs.”
Thanks so much Holly! That beadwork is cool – good inspiration pieces. 🙂 I’ve found the earth altars to be a really fun and rewarding way to get creative.
Thank you Mica! Yes, all the objects were found on the beach. That stretch of the shoreline is rich with all different types of shells, stones, sea glass, and fossils. All the best to you too. 🙂
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