My wife’s smile. I know because I feel myself smiling back!
I’ll go about my day quietly and pay attention.
Plain old gravity has helped many times. Doing nothing leaves open the possibility of tomorrow.
This moment has more weariness than I can shape into meaning. I shall go back to bed.
Put up another bird feeder…oh, wait, I have enough to do that now!
A little bit of attention, both personal and professional.
Well, things are changing and I’m not sure how they’ll rearrange themselves. With age my body has less resilience, so I must respond with more resilience of spirit.
That’s easy to say! We’ll see what it’s like to do.
The true facts of life can appear swirling, confusing, complex and unreconcilable. I sincerely give up!
Then out of the fog a moment comes when I find a simple, honest, manageable restatement of things, pointing to a way forward I can follow.
“Sweep the floor and put away the tools.”
“Just say thank you and shut up.”
Way is opening again.
I am most alive when I choose just this, now, what is.
It hurts to open my eyes to the darkness In me, more-so when I suddenly become aware of self-serving blindness I’ve lived with and brought forward all my life. If I open my eyes to look into the eyes of someone who is here, now, with me, not “in front of me” but, if I will let us both be present, is really just with me, I can feel the possibility of moving forward and trying to do better.
Thank you for this question.
I can begin by recognizing this is the purpose of the rest of my life.
I don’t need to make a big deal of this, just remember to be open as I go through each day.
It is a blessing to have something to reach for! (I know what it’s like to not have anything to reach for.)
When I wake up and my wife is beside me.
When our neighbors walk by my window, on their way to school or adventure.
When I learn what Greta Thunberg is doing today.
The one certain thing is that now is all I have left to live!
I see the same things, but differently.
This whole day is mine to use!
In the midst of a serious disagreement with my wife I can pause to notice the large body of evidence that we are in fact committed to our marriage. I can read our marriage certificate, framed on the wall, look at our signatures and go back to that moment, her signature so clear, my hand trembling as I signed. I can feel how, in facing our differences together we are growing into a deeper relationship. That’s something to be grateful for, isn’t it?
The fading hope of improving my character before it’s too late!
Last week I gave up a professional “status” position I’ve held for 12 years. Today I just worked in the here and now, just as before. I’m glad to get back.
Learning to love has made a big difference for me!
Thank you, Kevin. Your reply means a lot to me.
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