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Gratefulness
I am most free when I fully release my heart to love with its deepest wisdom, doing its best to discern what love can do. Not a guarantee of success, or that I won’t hurt others and myself through clumsiness and ignorance, but it is my best hope to make a good difference for myself and those I meet on my way in life.
All of my learning failures. My lost opportunities. My disturbed family of origin…of which I was only one person, not responsible for the whole mess! The things about my youth that I may never understand.There is a lingering sadness about my first life. I do my best to recognize that there were also many good things upon which I was able to build a new life as I gradually learned to nurture myself and be open to the love, caring and nurturing that is here and now for me.
By seeing this day as the first and last, and now only day of my life I enter into deeper connection with all, and creation arises again. Five inches of snow last night! The birds outside my window digging through the snow! My eyes are open wide with surprise, and I smile and smile.
All of my life I’ve had a charismatic relationship with sound. Three days a week I am a home service piano technician. I love making musical instruments sound and play better, and it makes people very happy. Because I love my work with all my heart, I work magic on pianos. So much can be done beyond just tuning, to make a piano beautiful and responsive to touch. Yesterday I spent 45 minutes working under a grand piano with a 4 year old volunteer helper. I get paid for this! I reme...
All of my life I’ve had a charismatic relationship with sound. Three days a week I am a home service piano technician. I love making musical instruments sound and play better, and it makes people very happy. Because I love my work with all my heart, I work magic on pianos. So much can be done beyond just tuning, to make a piano beautiful and responsive to touch. Yesterday I spent 45 minutes working under a grand piano with a 4 year old volunteer helper. I get paid for this! I remember some of the first times I made and understood musical sound, so I love wondering what a child (or adult) may experience on a piano I have tuned and voiced, knowing that sometimes these learning experiences will bring wonder and joy for a lifetime that continues long after I’m gone. I am blessed to have good work, and I love passing it on.
I’d like to believe that’s true…my small hope that I’m not here for nothing. I have put up a few dozen bird houses in the woods. Maybe someone was hatched in them and is singing today.
Simple sharing.
I’ll try to be present and not deny that there is suffering. Sometimes there is nothing we can do but recognize and honor that there is suffering.
Be mindful of my attitudes, to not injure what I love, and ask forgiveness when I’m clumsy.
Today I smile with gratitude, remembering years ago when Lou, a rough-spoken fellow, interrupted me with stern compassion: “Ed, broken hearts can heal. Broken hearts can heal.” That was the first time I became aware that there was healing in life. Knowing this, remembering moments of healing since then, I feel my life is a big healing arch. I smile, with a bit of trembling, imagining the healing yet to come. I want to die completely healed.Today I smile with gratitude, r...
Today I smile with gratitude, remembering years ago when Lou, a rough-spoken fellow, interrupted me with stern compassion: “Ed, broken hearts can heal. Broken hearts can heal.” That was the first time I became aware that there was healing in life. Knowing this, remembering moments of healing since then, I feel my life is a big healing arch. I smile, with a bit of trembling, imagining the healing yet to come. I want to die completely healed.Today I smile with gratitude, remembering years ago when Lou, a rough-spoken fellow, interrupted me with stern compassion: “Ed, broken hearts can heal. Broken hearts can heal.” That was the first time I became aware that there was healing in life. Knowing this, remembering moments of healing since then, I feel my life is a big healing arch. I smile, with a bit of trembling, imagining the healing yet to come. I want to die completely healed.
It’s never too late to learn!
Remembering to pause, appreciate, enjoy, be thankful…just a bit more, today…and every day.
So many ways, every day. I experience all feelings in my body…where else? But this morning, practicing Mary Chapin Carpenter’s “Thanksgiving Song,” memories of being forgiven came to me and I cried tears of gratitude. Forgiveness from others taught me to be forgiving, too. Without forgiveness I would be very lonely.
Now. (And a smiling “Thank You” to Brother David for the Good Day meditation. Fullness is always here.)
Deb’s message….
Beautiful! That’s the whole story in one line. Every day.
Me, too! 🙂
Yeah, Deb, I guess it’s never too late to relearn, too. I’ll keep trying….
Deb-Live forward as you can. Twenty years ago my father committed suicide. I carried on my life as best I could, automatically. I remember the moment, several weeks later, talking with my editor about an article, the surprise of realizing my heart was in the conversation, I was actually interested in something. I’d forgotten what that was like! I think after deep shock, our heart needs quiet time alone to feel safe and recover. I pray that your heart may have a most wonderful, sof...
Deb-Live forward as you can. Twenty years ago my father committed suicide. I carried on my life as best I could, automatically. I remember the moment, several weeks later, talking with my editor about an article, the surprise of realizing my heart was in the conversation, I was actually interested in something. I’d forgotten what that was like! I think after deep shock, our heart needs quiet time alone to feel safe and recover. I pray that your heart may have a most wonderful, soft, protecting blanket for as long as you need.
Good morning, Deb. I bow deeply to you.
Deb, we’re here, we’re listening, we know you’re there.
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