An ode to green. that color that fills the palate of spring and accompanies the sultry sun in summer. A verdancy that is lowly, below us, under our feet. Liturgically it is ordinary and encompasses much. Envy tried to steal its stealth, but the domain of green remains the kingdom of life.

Catherine McAuley, Dorothy Day, Francis DeSales, my wife.

Well, I suppose God and that presence of God wants to come through me into the world, as it does each of his creatures and all creation? I’m no prophet or mystic; I’ve no direct commune or channel with God, but I suspect that God wants to shine forth in each of us through the spirit and talents, gifts and desires he’s/she’s patched together in our very fiber.

I honor this when I do – and when I be – as I ought.

People of integrity have inspired me to live my most authentic life. Perhaps also a dash of interpersonal compassion accompanied by belief in their integrity: Nanny and Pappa, Joe Hesse, Dave Wallner, Sr Carol Rose Buirds, Sr. Sue Sanders, Sr. Joy Clough, my folks, my wife and my kids. Kids are great at integrity because they lack yeah of practiced hypocrisy.

Tough questions lately. Many days I feel near powerless in just about every direction; can what I do make any affect (on my well-being, for my house/family, for my community or country)? It seems the only power I have regularly is the power to corrode or destroy but not the power to maintain or to build-up.

Recently, my family embarked on probably the nicest family vacation we will be taking for a very long while. When we showed up to our hotel, we were informed that our room was being refurbished so we were assigned another room, a significant upgrade for free. It was quite nice.

A few times on public transit this week the folks who smile or offer to wait so I or someone else can deboard first is also a nice gift; a gift I also return in kind.

I seem to have an abundance of family blessings that enrich my days.

What if, I’m just really bad at my current job, and I have no idea what my vocation is? That perspective is existential and stress-inducing and it seems to be my current experience.

Not what but who. And the who is God. God’s Spirit tugs at my heart in the regular moments I operate under fear and move with alacrity not understanding.

I like to think I should tend to what is sacred to me, rather than preserve it. The church as a garden more than a museum. I rather see myself preparing the soil, planting, pruning, watering, maybe harvesting that which is sacred. But like gardening fruit I could can it and literally make preservatives out of it.

I suppose the space that gratefulness occupies displaces the space that ill-will, rancor, and resentment occupy. Hard to heal when you hold on to anger and resentment. As such if anger and resentment are displaced by gratefulness it seems there is an opening for healing where there wasn’t one before.

“…From this moment forward,” seems like a big ask. I fledgling and flail, of course I fail too, most of the time. As such a commitment to not taking something for granted seems daunting.

I suppose I can commit to not taking for granted support-network that of course is, and extends beyond my immediate family, into friends, colleagues, and others to whom advice, mentorship, or encouragement has been given.

That they haven’t abandoned hope in me!

Relent on my default posture of defensiveness, and also to pivot mentally from an outlook of worst-case-scenario to one where I believe there is grace from God, and enough of it to sustain me. At least in this manner I feel that I will have more reverence in the day and will act differently so as to be reverent to those around me.

A seat at the table with a welcoming gesture, both given and received, is a great fullness for my life.

Finding the “common denominator” helps ensure that the “objects in the mirror are closer than they appear”.

Love.