I tend to focus more on the ‘what’ (as in, this is what I am grateful for or what gift is this?) and the ‘why’ (amateur philosophy and sophomoric curiosity, ‘why am I so lucky,’ or why did God bless me with X?) than the how.

Though I, and all that I think and don’t think, do and don’t do, say and don’t say will in equal measures pass away with me, I still feel there’s the gift of contribution that continues after me. Might as well know where I stand, stand there and be grateful for that.

In the morning, as I leave for work, I tell my six year old, “What are we going to do today?” And thanks to wrote memorization she responds, “Listen, learn lots, and do good great.”

At bed time, I ask her, “Now, did we listen; did we learn lots; what did we do that was great?”

It’s not explicit, but usually there’s an act or a story recounted that was predicated on gratefulness or conversely an act or a story where listening, learning, or doing good great didn’t happen and one can draw the conclusion that those instances lacked gratitude.

Additionally, the first question at our call-and-response bed time prayers with my daughter is this, “Did you have a good day?”

If she responds, “yes,” I then say, “what do you say to God?” She responds, “Thank you.”

If she responds, “no,” I then say, “what do you say to God?” She responds, “Thank you.”

Some days a terrible awful and no good in whole or in part but at the end of each day as I pray with my daughter we together remind ourselves to be grateful for each day regardless of it’s joys or sorrows mingled.

It’s been beat into my brain: God is Love (Deus Caritas est). And I’m not going to disagree. However… flailing Catholic that I am, God may well be love, but God is relationship vis-a-vis the Trinity, too. As such, I have loved well when love is animated by or works together with trust. Trust — be it hope or faith — is outside of my control. When I speak or write an email and I say, “I trust you are well,” it’s the same thing as saying “I hope you are well.” Likewise, when I say, “I believe you can do this,” it’s the same as, “I have faith in you.”

Love may be a priori of/for God but for me, love is best when it’s not alone but with trust: trust that love or my expression of love matters, is of value, is communicated well, and received, is helpful, is good regardless of how it’s received.

All that to say: I love best when I trust and trust is just as vulnerable as love.

There’s your word salad for the morning.

As someone who seeks abundance (both in a spiritual sense, but yes also in the more problematic capitalistic sense) sufficiency is hard to identify because when you’re seeking abundance, most everything measures up to insufficient.

I tell my daughter when she’s pouring out ranch dressing, “that’s sufficient.” It has become somewhat of an inside joke because I say it so often. “Dad said sufficient!” And then her little brother chimes in, “Sufficient, sufficient!”

So, beyond a sufficient supply of ranch dressings, I would say my family is sufficient as is their love, humor, and compassion.

Well worded, succinct questions; right now that question is: What do I owe others? Believing I am my brother’s keeper, believing that humans are communitarian, social, group-bound creatures, I need to take stock, or “look directly at my life as it is,” and realize what I have, how it is supported, and what of it I can share.

Also my children by nature of their innocence (and questions) unknowingly support me in looking at my life as it is: blessed though defect filled.

While I’ve improved in my acknowledgement and understanding that life is change, in flux, evolving, growing, et cetera, I have not improved in my knee-jerk and fearful reaction that follows the acknowledgement that I do not know what will happen. I want to plan and to have a process and timeline in place. There it is, “I” and “want” rather than “it” and “is”.

When I can chip away at the fear, and stubbornness, perhaps I’ll see the possibilities.