The quietude and slower pace of life through this pandemic has been an unexpected blessing.

I had a traumatizing dream (premonition, maybe?) of my death and it made me re-evaluate my life and how I spend my energy and time. It also made me mindful of my life purpose and whether I’m doing all that I can to live my life fully rather than just existing in some sort of repetitive mundane existence. In that way, the dream was a gift, albeit still an unsettling experience. Unlike a traditional NDE, I didn’t glimpse the Other Side, just the death itself.

To seek “more, better or different” implies that I already have what I need, but it still doesn’t feel like enough. It comes from a feeling of scarcity and lack, rather than abundance. For me, giving up the search for more means shifting my focus from accumulation to appreciation and gratitude.

Knowing that what I know (knowledge-facts/figures) is so very limited. There’s an infinite universal consciousness that is tapped by going within, inward. Using intuition and meditation to deepen my understanding. Testing knowledge intuitively based on whether it resonates as truth.

Understanding that life’s purpose is to teach my soul lessons that bring me closer to God. An ending represents a completion of a level (mastery) and a beginning represents the newly ascended level (new lesson). I celebrate those times I’ve learned what needed to be learned.

This is a difficult time of strong delusions, big lies and polarized views, but there’s great comfort in staying on a positive course, looking inward for the truth and remaining grounded.

Knowing that tomorrow is not promised. Embracing today.

To figure out who you are and love yourself. To be your most authentic self, meaning not putting on facades or projecting yourself as a different, “more likable” version of who you think you should be. Understanding that you have a place in this world and you belong just as you are. Trying to fit in and hide parts of yourself is a form of self-betrayal.

“Today you are You,
that is truer than true.
There is no one alive
who is Youer than You.”– Dr. Seuss

By choosing to do the right thing, which is the accumulation of daily choices.

I live in a different town than the one where I was born and raised. It’s forced me to become aware of my fear of being alone, break codependent patterns and learn how to live by faith. I’ve done the most growing here in these unfamiliar grounds.

The opportunity is for us all to heal ourselves in order to contribute to the greater good. Focusing on self; we can influence and inspire, but cannot force real change in another.

These are difficult times to live through, but it’s very apparent that our world is transforming right before our eyes. I feel more self-aware and cognizant of my trauma and my responsibility to heal it, regardless of how it got there.

Setting boundaries with a loved one who really hurt me by their behavior. I’m having to take a step back and make emotional space for myself, downsize the connection there. In the past, I would have fought – them to change, myself to accept – the harmful behaviors in order to keep the connection the same. I’ve earned to let go and have faith more recently. The silver lining is that this is progress in my self-love journey.

I used to think the kindest people I knew were the people pleasers, until I realized a lot of that acquiescing behavior was a trauma response. Now, I believe the kindest people I know are the ones who have the courage to be honest with themselves and others, and stand up for what they believe.

Kindness without honesty is manipulation.
Honesty without kindness is brutality.

I surrender to God. I couldn’t say that before.

In the back of my mind, the words “be careful what you wish for” would play as if what I asked for or needed would be distorted into something difficult and painful (my childhood was rough). My perspective has changed since.

Not feeling like the world is on my shoulders. Feeling into connectedness, giving others the opportunity to be helpful, building trust.

Myself. Pandemic stress has been affecting my sleep and body in bad ways. In the past, I’d take out my frustrations on myself, which just increased my suffering. So, I’ve been exercising some softness and self-kindness.

I tried crochetting with raffia. It wasn’t a success, but I’ll try again.

That their actions are really about them and not you. Hurting people hurt people. Healed people help heal people.