How perfect is it that this is a repeat from day one. I don’t know if that was intended… But I do know that as the day changed so did the relevance of entitlement.
Yesterday was the first thanksgiving that I have ever had without family. Due to the lost of parents, births and even adoptions. Instead… We went to a friends house to celebrate the day. Everyone brought something and the food was delicious and we were touched to be invited. My kids (20 and 17) made it very obvious they didn’t want to be there. Although we went to bed with full bellies, I was filled with sadness and frustration wishing my kids would have cooperated, smiled, chatted, or even helped. At the very least not create resistance. I woke with the same heavy heart and reluctantly opened my email knowing I would most likely have to give up the story that I created that was fueling my anger. Grrrrr
entitlement…again…and then a call to deepen…as I let it deepen the tears started as a mirror appears showing me my role in the day. And how my inability to let things just happen naturally stole some of the joy out of the air.
I watched as my kids felt out of place and over dressed for a feast that is usually more casual and filled with laughter. I chose to critique their dress and their manners which now in hindsight… Just feels icky and out of touch with the meaning of the holiday. I watched they they too were sad to be at a table without their grandparents and cousins.
Story changed anger replaced with tears…mrrrr