On the side of a road, unseen by passing traffic, is a bush with amazing seed pods. In the spring they erupt into plump seed casings that adorn the tree like jeweled earrings. They pop like tiny balloons if pinched. As spring passes into summer, heat from sun and earth dry the skin and by fall, the casings begin to shrivel and are brittle. They hang loosely from the branch. They no longer pop when pinched but split open to reveal seeds that are spread by wind and birds. Eventually they crumble into dust. On the side of the road, unseen by passing traffic, the cycle of life is seen to those who look and see.

I am on leave from work to care for and be with my husband who had a massive heart attack in January and survived. He is on the mend, for which I am very grateful. But now… I am wondering if I should return to work or retire. The questions in today’s reflection hit the heart of the dilemma: Does my daily ritual/work nourish me in the ways it once did? Has a ritual/ work somehow become disconnected from its intended purpose? Am I ready to release/retire in order to create space for something new? To retire is to let go of a professional identity, colleagues, pride in what I do, a social standing and so much more. What is waiting for me on the other side of “the door”? These questions I will continue to wrestle with. Please pray for me to have clarity in this decision. ☯️

Church traditions have been the strongest ongoing source of ritual in my life and marked the passages in my life. Births, marriage, children, deaths and so on. In the last few years though, church has been more a symbol of oppression then growth, so I haven’t engaged in those rituals. Finding this site and participating in the community is one way of finding the spiritual in my life. But for current traditions… it’s family celebrations that mark my life journey. And as adult children find partners and grandchildren arrive and grow… the subtle changes to those family celebrations mark my own growth and aging.