I’d have less apologizing to do. Depending on what the other person said, my response can be immediate. Although a response may be ‘true’, it isn’t necessarily kind. The Dali Lama says we always have the option to be kind. A pause creates space where kindness can enter. My dad also told me: ‘some things don’t need saying’.

Listening is an art when practiced well, involves total focus, specific communication techniques, and attention to non-verbal cues. We don’t always meet this standard for many reasons including time constraints. When I listen like this, besides understanding the person better, it deepens the relationship. We grow closer.

Two kinds of waiting as I see it. Little waits: (i.e. at the DMV) – plan for this with distraction: check e-mail/read a book, etc. Big waits: recovering from illness, pursuing a long-range plan- require patience, pacing, & perserverance. Being mindful is the key – staying in the ‘now’ – where everything actually happens.

Beaches of Maui – Redwood Forests of California. Rocky Mountains. Oceans, forests, or mountains. Nature.

I’m taking one tonight. Fall down 7 times get up 8.

Human ‘wants’ are endless; a bottomless pit. Focusing on wants we will feel empty. Needs are different. Freud said we need 3 things to be happy: 1. someone or something to love. 2. meaningful work. 3. something to look forward to. A lack in one of these 3 can create psychic pain, which will propel us to find solutions.

Thanks Kevin for bringing up the other side of listening. The Ying and Yang of life.

thanks Mica!

When we are under pressure, we need to connect with our coping strategies, and sometimes that involves fast food. Sometimes having to cook a meal is just one more thing on the to-do list and we need to be as expedient with it as possible. It’s O.K.!

Dear Kevin, A lack of clarity? This is a quandary. Perhaps another way to think about this is that you probably possess a beginners’ mind. To be open to whatever is next. If one is totally certain about all things, then where is the space to learn anything new? One is full up. So to have an unexplained longing, may mean you are ready for a new adventure? Just a thought …

Dear Samuel, It sounds like you’ve suffered a major loss. Grief, as you said, cannot be ignored. Moving ahead after a drastic unwanted change, is one of the hardest life-tests there is. We, your faith community have heard you; like others I pray for you. The depth of your grief is a reflection of how deeply you love. No words will fix this, it’s going to take time. Remember you are loved, and try to let others help.

Thank you Mica, such a balanced perspective. I will check out “the Shadow”. Although optimism can be unrealistic, even naive, I suppose I interpret optimism to be a state of hopefulness. I never expect life to turn out as I “want” it to, but I do hope for outcomes which I can cope with, and even better, which will raise the human condition.

Thank God for you Beata, those who share their faith with others on a daily basis bring light into the world. Thank you for this.

Yes Mica, I too need reminders to use this technique, I don’t use that frequently, but it really helps in a ‘crisis’ and with PTSD.

You are most welcome. Stay strong.

Beata, you must know your Bible really well … now I have to get out mine and read the fifth Gospel, so you’ve given me a little mission today. Thank you. Re-reading this I remember there are only 4 Gospels, ah well, it is after all 4:30 a.m. My day starts with humor!

Antoinette, nicely said – so many of our experiences are about ‘letting go’. I’m learning more and more about not trying to make things work. Often when things fall apart, all you can do is observe. It is what it is. Thanks for sharing.

Christina, sounds like you’ve been going through a tense time. Recognizing that you want to feel more calm is good. Staying connected to your support system (as you are doing by sharing your concerns) I believe will help. Knowing that others have been through the uncertainty that you are experiencing, helps you not feel alone in this. We are all on this journey together. Remember to breathe.