This is a good idea for me as these days I tend to consider myself essentially invisible in the moment to moment sense. I am not as aware as I might be of how I touch the world as I move through my day, and so it is a welcome reminder. Not that I think of myself as lacking in value or better put ‘potential’, as much as a laziness in not treating consciousness as necessarily participatory in and of itself. My thoughts and attitudes ripple out like sound waves doing their part quickening harmony or dissonance as they go, so it is more strategic if I do that creatively.

These qualities, playfulness and adventure, are attitudes really. They are a particular kind of filter through which I can see some aspects of my life. Adventure, that sense of curiosity mixed with the thrill of the unknown, can be seen around the edges of most of my days and hours. Playfulness is a bit less of a frequent visitor as it demands a lightheartedness that, while not impossible, these times seem to discourage. I appreciate today’s question reminding me to seek opportunities to bring it forth.

I always need to be very careful at the end of the month economically. I cut it real close with very little room for error. And yet, somehow, it always works out (even though the hull scrapes the bottom once in a while). It is a thing I am grateful about already, but in terms of a ‘gift’ I think it is knowing that I am not taking on more than needed. I am not ‘accumulating,’ which, for me, is a waste of resources and energy. Not putting too much in the metaphorical back pack…no checked baggage.

Receiving is not comfortable for me in general. It still takes effort on my part to be vulnerable enough (and humble enough) to actually feel good about receiving anything. I remember getting a gift from my father, it was touching and meaningful in the sense that he had chosen the gift after some thought, and yet, I still came away from the exchange feeling somehow incomplete, undeserving and some sense of shame. It is a sad thing that I am more comfortable, naturally content, in transactional exchanges when I can walk away and not feel obligated. It is a handicap I work at overcoming. In the end of the day I am faced with an irrational sense of inadequacy.

This is a long answer! And it is personally satisfying that as a senior person I can answer this much easier. Thirty years ago I would NOT have had as easy a time. I have a set of values based on the Benedictine Tradition infused with values of a rower (my sport).

STABILITY. …I used to hold this as a commitment to a physical place…now it has evolved to literally being grounded and balanced physically, mentally and emotionally. When I get knocked off balance (imagine a skier starting to lose control) recover as quickly as possible. This also transfers well in my rowing…as I have to keep from capsizing.

HOSPITALITY. …Welcoming everyone I cross in my day as being sent by God. There are no exceptions.

JUSTICE AND PEACE. …In Merton’s Seeds of Contemplation there is a great piece about how peace is not merely the absence of violence. It is the establishment of justice and addressing the needs of the victims of violence (including the deep injuries of the perpetrators). Hard work. Demands compassion that seems impossible much of the time. I cannot do it alone. The front lines against hatred, bigotry, cruelty, jealousy and envy are within myself.

OBEDIENCE. …Being on time. Keeping my promises. NOT over promising. Finding the teachers and mentors that are put in front of me and both asking for help and then committing to follow their advise. Mostly all of which pushes me beyond my self-imposed personal limits.

PRAYER. …Sending positive energy out in all directions all the time.

STEWARDSHIP. …I am a guest. Being a good guest I pitch in when possible, clean up after myself, and assume no property rights so-to-speak. None of this is MINE.

COMMUNITY…a sense of duty and obligation to a team, working towards a common objective, deferring personal gratification for the greater good of the whole.

First and foremost: Keeping my word. This is huge. Some people move through their day with total ignorance as to how their actions are not compatible with who they have told me they are. Breaking their word to themselves with a capriciousness that is head spinning. So I am left with a healthy suspicion that they really don’t care about their oaths and so likely will not follow through. Kids are especially keen on this. They can be brutal, sounding the alarm when I go way outside the lines I have set up. Recycling police and watching how I drive!

Eye contact, especially while they are speaking. Opening and closing my time with them…initiating connection and closure. When possible (which is most of the time) taking actions that take into account their needs.

I am being urged by the universe to accept progress in micro-stages. Incremental steps that are almost irrelevant in the moment and yet, over a bit of time, grow into real measurable progress. So I am being challenged to have patience and trust in the flow. For one thing, its slow pace is gentle, easy to endure for long periods of time, not demanding much rigor and effort. There is also the scenery to be enjoyed along the path. More of a river barge on the Garonne meandering along than a jet ski on the Atlantic hopping waves. So the habit is two-fold: acceptance and trust in the process.

Years ago, I discovered Benedictine Spirituality. I discovered its structure of work, study and prayer, incredibly powerful as a means of arranging my day. Not just like an agenda setting device. More in terms of set patterns that when followed, supported my having my priorities aligned with my intentions. This has allowed me to notice a profound difference between the days that I follow the pattern versus the days that I don’t. As a practical matter it appears that when I sense the pattern interrupting my day, my day is not in alignment with my intentions, and see it as a ‘divine interruption.’ All of this is to say that as my intention is to love the world and all who I come across during my pilgrimage on our planet, I am contributing to its fullness when I follow the pattern.

Sure Cathy! So in opening a conversation it is establishing contact…saying something as trivial as ‘How are you?’, or better something along the lines of ‘it’s good to see you!’…waiting for that to ‘land’…which means they somehow open a bit energetically, and listening, truly listening not just hearing, their reply…(you can test this with the front line workers in your life, your uber driver, the check out clerks at the grocery store, the homeless person with a cup on the sidewalk)…

Closure is saying something which acknowledges an end…”this has been great” or “ I’ve enjoyed hearing about (reference something you got from them in their sharing)…basically saying thanks. It is easier to show the opposite…stopping midstream to take a call on my mobile, immediately breaking eye contact and moving away…NOT closure. People act like they have given me permission to do this…but trust me…they don’t like it at all.