I am in the habit of hearing criticism and taking it too personally and not always the good comments i receive -to keep a balance would mean less thorns, more roses and greater confidence in my writing and in all i try to do.

I love the early moring as the darkness slips away and dawn breaks. The garden gradually becomes alive with birds and rabbits, the trees come out the shadows and show their full beauty. silence becomes birdsong and i feel as if i belong. Such a precious time that nurtures my deepest longings and losses and which colours my dreams. and makes sense of my tears.

I have to battle to let go of the nagging thought that if I only had more money i could make a difference …..every donation, every act of kindness however small is precious – i need to celebrate that and not dishonour what i have and what i can do even if it isn’t much.

I’m not sure i take anyone for granted but on reflection I almost certainly don’t let people around me know often enough how much i value their companionship and support. Thank you for the gentle reminder to be more generous and appreciative

By saying thank you. By honoring the gift of life. By sharing my resources with those who have less than i have and by not being ashamed to receive help when i am struggling.

Abundance

i would post out letters to those i love with seeds in for them to plant i would sit with my cat on my lap and look out to sea and try not to be afraid.-

it is the memories that make me both smile and cry – they catch me unawares almost as if they knew i needed them to find the strength to keep going – they are both the past and the next step – both silence and music – absence and presence and without them my soul would never soar.

When i ran the hottest ever London Marathon in 2018- runners were sharing water – the crowds were rushing into shops to buy us fruit and ice lollies and ice cold drinks – for those few hours London became a wonderful flowing river of compassion, generosity and kindness.

by letting go of fear and allowing the whisper to become music, then dance, then something beautiful in my life that helps me grow into the person i was made to be and to carry out my lifes work – one whisper at a time.

The film that had the most prfound affect on me was Schindlers List – i remember wandering around the streets after leaving the cinema lost in a terrible silence too deep for words. It still haunts me but challenges me too to support as best i can those who are persecuted and to celebrate and highlight the lives of those who make a difference.

When i stop trying to think or do and just let my heart, my tears and my longing guide me, the things that matter most seem more real, more precious and more urgent.

Sometimes my lack of confidence can define my thinking and ideas get squashed – if i could be more trusting that change doesn’t happen in our own strength i could better support and invest in my vision of a world where no child goes hungry ,no animal is abused and where all grow into the people they long to be.

I live in a small community at a retreat house so day by day the community’s generosity is there -through all the niggles and tears and all the beautiful moments of growth and joy

By living life to the full now, not just actively but inwardly so that as each day goes by and my energy begins to run out i might treasure the past and let it help me find grace in each phase of my journey however limited my cirucmstances become.

Planting trees in every place that was special to me – visiting everyone who has made my life the journey it has been and fundraise to leave behnd a living legacy to help the vulnerable people and animals in the world

There is something deeply moving about hearing another person tell their story-even if it is really different from your own and you don’t on the surface have much in common – when human heart meets human heart and we truly listen to one another respect begins to blossom and we are both changed

Runnig helps me to dig deep and overcome the negative voices in my head that tell me to stop or to give up. focussing on my reasons for wanting to go and carrying with me the inspirational stories of others who have overcome so much and shown courage that shows all things are possible.

As though it were a leaf falling from a tree- swirling swirling then still on the ground- its moment gone yet forever part of life

Thank you for your comment – it has taken me a long time to overcome lack of confidence and fear but now i cherish each day, each challenge and each whisper. xx