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Gratefulness
The practice of gratitude is essential to me. Even in the chemotherapy room with my husband, I found moments of love, beauty, and kindness.
Thank you for commenting and for contacting me on Twitter, Elizabeth. I’ve fallen in love with Monarch butterflies the last few years, watching the cycle of their life unfold and being part of the miraculous transformation. Somehow it’s never boring to watch caterpillars chomp on milkweed leaves. Sometimes waiting is the only choice in life, so it’s good to know that within that limitation we can choose to become quiet and in touch with the heart or we can go with impatient ...
Thank you for commenting and for contacting me on Twitter, Elizabeth. I’ve fallen in love with Monarch butterflies the last few years, watching the cycle of their life unfold and being part of the miraculous transformation. Somehow it’s never boring to watch caterpillars chomp on milkweed leaves. Sometimes waiting is the only choice in life, so it’s good to know that within that limitation we can choose to become quiet and in touch with the heart or we can go with impatient and frustration. For me, it’s a constant meditation practice to take the calm path.
You know more about waiting than I can imagine. When my husband was a cancer patient, I learned what it meant to be a patient, to care for a patient, the patience required in waiting rooms or waiting for help to arrive, in chemotherapy rooms or while waiting for another test result or a stem cell transplant. The only way I could get through a challenge such as yours would be to find those moments of wonder, thankfulness, kindness, beauty, and love in the midst of the difficulty.. In the groce...
You know more about waiting than I can imagine. When my husband was a cancer patient, I learned what it meant to be a patient, to care for a patient, the patience required in waiting rooms or waiting for help to arrive, in chemotherapy rooms or while waiting for another test result or a stem cell transplant. The only way I could get through a challenge such as yours would be to find those moments of wonder, thankfulness, kindness, beauty, and love in the midst of the difficulty.. In the grocery store today, I spoke with an old friend with a difficult symptoms about the need to keep searching for joy. Your words complete the circle by returning peace to me. Thank you for your kindness.
Thank you, Sparrow. It seems I’m always asked to stretch beyond what’s comfortable for me. By nature, I tend toward impatience and hurry. The beauty of the seasons and a few inspired teachers teach me so much about approaching our world and challenges with peace and tolerance. Wishing you well in all ways.
I also hope your little one made it to Mexico and my little tribe. I saw a Monarch on my trail here on Nov. 2. The thrill of beauty and color and joy rising out of the browned fields followed by the stab of acceptance that this one hatched too late in the field or was traveling south too late and doesn’t have a chance. There were no flowers for nectar and the wind was from the wrong direction. I couldn’t save it, but I could honor its beauty and accept. Monarchs = Joy for me. I li...
I also hope your little one made it to Mexico and my little tribe. I saw a Monarch on my trail here on Nov. 2. The thrill of beauty and color and joy rising out of the browned fields followed by the stab of acceptance that this one hatched too late in the field or was traveling south too late and doesn’t have a chance. There were no flowers for nectar and the wind was from the wrong direction. I couldn’t save it, but I could honor its beauty and accept. Monarchs = Joy for me. I like thinking of equanimity, too. We tend them and then surrender to what destiny has in store. Another reminder that our egos are not in charge. Thanks for reading my pieces here and on my website. Thanks for tending the butterfly world wherever you are.. Blessings.
We live in an international world, don’t we? You are in New Zealand. Your phone was dealt with by someone in the Philippines, and you’re interacting with me on line in the United States. I do not like those long waits, but it seems we can’t escape them now. A time to give thanks, a time to pray, or often a time to fume a little about modern life. I hope your phone works again.
Yes, the piece is more timely than I knew it would be. I love the way you’ve expressed the connections between waiting and many other virtues. Of course, any meditation or prayer practice involves a sense of waiting.
They are exquisite. I didn’t know how beautiful the chrysalis was until I raised them and watched the transformation. Once the wings show dark orange and the chrysalis darkens, it’s about to emerge as a fully grown butterfly. I’m sure you have equally beautiful butterflies in Switzerland. (You live in a beautiful country which has managed to avoid war for a long time.)
Dear Sheila, I wrote this before the Pittsburgh catastrophe, but there have been so many catastrophes. I also needed this especially today and especially as voting season gets going.. Raising Monarchs this past summer gave me hope. I follow the migration news (as well as the political news) and they’re arriving at their wintering grounds in the mountains of Mexico. Life is so painful, but I try to remember the beauty and miracles. Thank you, Elaine
Yes, we are fortunate if we can nourish hope and gratitude in small spaces so we have strength to face the larger world. Thank you, Miguelie.
Korakas, you must have those qualities growing within you wouldn’t know to watch for them. That self-awareness seems like the essential step. Thank you for your kind encouraging words and blessings. May we all be blessed.
Thank you, Allyson. That’s the question, isn’t it? Waiting is part of living. We can make our pause a mindful meditation or we can spend our time pumping up negativity and impatience. I try to remember I have a choice every minute.
Hands together over heart. Thank you, Kimberly.
It is so very hard, Mary. Wrenching and heart-breaking. It took me years to take in the deep transformation. My husband died in 2008 and for years I wept. I love what your husband’s obituary said. I hope you have people to be with and talk with about this. My friends who could grieve with me were the most help at all. Please hang on to those sunsets which I also watched with my husband. I still watch sunsets or pause to take in a beautiful flower when I’m sad. Nature’s beaut...
It is so very hard, Mary. Wrenching and heart-breaking. It took me years to take in the deep transformation. My husband died in 2008 and for years I wept. I love what your husband’s obituary said. I hope you have people to be with and talk with about this. My friends who could grieve with me were the most help at all. Please hang on to those sunsets which I also watched with my husband. I still watch sunsets or pause to take in a beautiful flower when I’m sad. Nature’s beauty kept me going. I walked many times a day, not for exercise, but for peace.
Drew, I hope you have plenty of support during this transition. I had friends and sons with my husband. Now with my elderly mother-in-law, I have hospice. Even in death and the deepest grief, we are not alone. In the days after the death of someone close when we feel close to the threshold, there are many opportunities to feel sacred connection to the one who died and to Life and Nature and people we love. Surrendering to grief rather than trying to block it was the way I could keep moving th...
Drew, I hope you have plenty of support during this transition. I had friends and sons with my husband. Now with my elderly mother-in-law, I have hospice. Even in death and the deepest grief, we are not alone. In the days after the death of someone close when we feel close to the threshold, there are many opportunities to feel sacred connection to the one who died and to Life and Nature and people we love. Surrendering to grief rather than trying to block it was the way I could keep moving through it. May you and your dying one be held in Love. .
Thank you, Sheila. This poem broke through when I felt alone and invisible. Your blessing is deeply appreciated. My husband died almost 10 years ago, but these experiences are close and still transforming me.
Dear Nancy, I hadn’t looked at comments for a while and find yours written a month ago. I apologize for not being on top of this. You know what it is to be with death and the many ways we can choose to help or resist. My husband’s mother is still alive and she’s 102. She’s a hospice patient now. I was so relieved when hospice support came in. Thank you for the important work you do. And thank you for your kind words.
Thank you, Iraida. I apologize that it took so long for me to find your comment. I’m grateful your parents had/have that kind of love and it’s wonderful you were raised surrounded by it. Blessings.
Sandy, it still helps me when I read something that reflects my feelings and other-world experiences following my husband’s death, so your comment makes me feel connected to you. It also makes me feel I’ve done my job as a writer. Thank you so much for taking time to comment. I’m so sorry your husband died and how hard it is to lose that primary relationship.. May the Love live on.
I knew I had the gift of a wonderful relationship (complete with kindness, honesty, everyday irritations when two egos rub against each other, and a shared spiritual path). Not everyone is half so fortunate. I also learned early on that Love stayed if I wasn’t afraid to feel the fierce grief. The grief softened in time, although it’s still there after 10 years. In some ways, the Love is stronger than ever. I think Grace is the perfect word. Transformed by grief and Grief transform...
I knew I had the gift of a wonderful relationship (complete with kindness, honesty, everyday irritations when two egos rub against each other, and a shared spiritual path). Not everyone is half so fortunate. I also learned early on that Love stayed if I wasn’t afraid to feel the fierce grief. The grief softened in time, although it’s still there after 10 years. In some ways, the Love is stronger than ever. I think Grace is the perfect word. Transformed by grief and Grief transformed.
Wow! I’m weeping as I read your message. My heart ached in the most physical way in the weeks and months after my husband’s death. You received an image of the “sacred heart” to last a lifetime. An unforgettable image of the power of Love. We feel ripped in two as though half of us or more is gone forever but in time we realize things were rearranged and now we hold them in the deepest and sweetest part of our heart. When we call on them, they are always there.
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