Begin and end my day with reflection and meditation concentrating on all that I have and how fortunate I am. Others around me may not be as joyous. Understand that we all have our own battles and that not everyone show gratitude. Be there for those who are troubled and don’t let their reactions destroy your own gratitude. Perhaps by showing that I am grateful and joyous that this will emanate from me and others will sense and pick up the positive feelings. If not, I will try to not them get me down.

I believe that one must be careful about assuming that everyone is good, that everyone is kind or loving. But at the same time I believe that everyone has some good in them. What we see, what we hear or read is not always a true indicator of a person. We don’t know their whole life story, what’s in their thoughts or minds or what they are presently going Through. Perhaps they have issues that they are dealing with themselves. Humans are born into this world as innocent. It is outside forces that shape them. We cannot always see the good things people do for others, their families or loved ones or what involvement they have contributed to their communities. If we assume that everyone has some good in them no matter what amount, then we stop judging them based solely on negativity. This stops our own feelings of hate, despair, anxiety or depression. We
Focus more on joy, acceptance of life realizing that we are human..no one is perfect

Letting go of anger brings peace to oneself. It wasn’t until after a year from my fathers death that I have come to peace with myself. He was an away dad who left an alcoholic mother alone to look after his kids. He never tried to show support for his wife and try to help. As for his kids he was very regimented, hardly showed affection, was demeaning at times and never gave praise. I understand now that my mother and father both had their problems when growing up. My father was a military man and I am positive that PTSD compounded his behaviour. My parents behaviour affected me, but I am on the path to not let it define who I am. I feel more compassion for my parents now that I understand the whole picture about them.

Myself. At times I’ve been critical of myself and my accomplishments. Sometimes the thoughts of I’m not good enough, why can I not be like this person or be this way have crept into my inner chatter. I realize now that this internalized thinking is my inner child and the belief by him. This thinking was created by my real or perceived thinking as a child as a reaction to my parents and others. I am finally seeing everything that I have accomplished, that I am an amazing human being and that I deserve credit and a pat on the back. When this negative feeling comes up, I look at why I feel this way, go back to the point where this feeling came up and talk to my inner child and let them know that they are loved and what that happened then has no bearing to what’s happening now.

I have doubt at times that the human race will persevere and survive considering how much we are destroying Mother Earth as well as killing ourselves. I can dream about what the perfect world would be like where we respect each other get along , stop warring and make positive strides to improve the environment. The reality is that this will probably never happen. This is putting more emphasis for me on what life is about, having faith about myself and what will greet me when my time is up. Because I believe that everything in the universe is connected, I will continue on through even if mankInd no longer exists. Other animals will rebound. Perhaps a new braver humankind will follow who treats everything with respect and love after realizing how the previous humans destroyed themselves. Perhaps love and compassion will overcome greed and hate.

I have many questions…Who do I appreciate? How am I fortunate? What material possessions am I thankful for? What abilities do I have that I’m grateful for? What experiences have I had that I am grateful for? What have others in my life done that I am thankful for? What am I taking for granted that, if I stop to think about it, I am grateful for? What relationships am I thankful for? What is there about the challenges/difficulties I have experienced (or am currently experiencing) that I can be thankful for? (e.g., What have I learned? How have I grown?). These are only a few but they all lead to gratitude. Gratitude has changed my outlook on how I feel about myself and what is going on around me in spite of the difficulties.

Being grateful for what I have or who is in my life brings me joy and peace. At the same time, I look around and see others who are having life difficulties, who are suffering with their health, who have less than what I have and are suffering because of it. I feel compassion for them because I do understand why they feel the way that they do. Perhaps if I reach out, smile, be supportive of them and show them my own gratitude it may transfer to them and help them see the way of gratitude as well.

Life is about coming to numerous ys in the road and having to make difficult decisions on which path to take. For me, stopping my drinking was my hardest decision. At the time drinking clouded my good judgement, was my way to console myself and reduce the anxiety and depression that I suffered from. It wasn’t until I was given an ultimatum that I realized that I was going to lose my relationship, my health and my lifestyle. Yes it was a difficult decision at the time but i can look back and see where I was and where I am now. I am much better off, have been healing myself and able to handle difficulty or a challenge much more easily.

I believe one has to take care of themselves first. The same as a person needs to love themselves first. Some people take care of others as the goal to feel better about themselves because They have poor self esteem and need reassurance. Yes, it is wonderful to think about others, to care and love but the question we need to ask is what is the purpose? If it is to be there for others, to show our love and compassion without expecting anything in return and to feel good about it, then the purpose is genuine. If one only feels good and it makes them feel more wanted and appreciated then they need more self love, compassion and acceptance.