My parents .. I grew up in a very dysfunctional household. Both my parents were not there for me at times and were emotionally abusive. My mother passed away years ago as an alcoholic. My father passed away a year and a half away at the ripe age of 98. Several years before his death I was able to sit down with him and told him how I felt in regards to his behaviour towards me and my mother. As for my mother, I was only able to tell her my feelings by a letter. For a period of time I felt anger and sadness. It took about a year after my fathers death that with some self soul searching and thought that I realized that they had their own issues. What tragic upbringings they had. My fathers probable PTSD as he fought in Korea and the Second World War as well as my mother’s experience growing up as a child in Hamburg Germany when the allied forces bombed that city relentlessly. They did the best that They could do. I can see now the good things they did and the positive things that were passed down to my personality. I am grateful for those things and the lessons learned from the experience. I’ve become a better person for my personal,changes.

I would like to accept more the eventual fact that I will die. Getting older and with my aches and pains, the medications that i take and the limitations that I have are things that i previously found difficult Having been an active, physical person, I found it hard to accept. I’ve finally accepted the fact of getting old, but the thoughts of aging have brought death as being the inevitable. I’ve questioned myself why? What am I fearful of? I am more afraid of what I will miss here. It’s taken me 60:years to finally accept myself, my love of life, the wonderful partner that is with me and that our relationship has grown and made us closer. I fear losing all these things. I do believe that there is more to existing than just being alive.there is some form of after life. But I’m afraid of the unknown.. it’s time for me to focus on what will follow and the positives..as with my other issues that I finally have control of , it’s a work in progress

It has really only within the past year that m’y interpretation of life’s experiences has changed. I used to be hurt, angry blame myself and or others for my bad experiences that often led to me to suffer with anxiety and or depression. My self worth was affected. I would compare, criticize and judge myself and others. Now I try to look at these negative times as lessons, something to grow. I realize that to expect to always have good times is unrealistic. Life is like riding a wave in the ocean. It will have it’s ups and downs but it still travels on. The skill is to accept this wave as an experience, to let it dissipate like the circles of waves after one throws a pebble in a pond.. to stop the self criticizing, holding anger against people. THese reactions are self destructive. Learning that we are responsible for our own emotions and stop the negativity. Move on, count our blessings,accept what is happening and our short comings. Accepting that we are all unique. THere was, there is and there will be only one of us. And we are AWESOME 👏

It would need a whole and complete effort made by everybody who lives on this bright blue ball. Is this possible? Is this viable? The question I pose is would EVERYONE change their behaviours, Being a realist, I believe that the answer is no. It is human nature to look after SELF preservation . Wars, destruction of the environment and other destructed actions have been around since humans existed. I’m not trying to be a pessimist, but that is a fact. Myself I try to prevent further environmental damage, try to promote peace for example but the behaviours of the majority would have to change. The ideals of greed and power would have to cease. Are we willing to give up our things such as our technical advances, our computers, cell phones, and such which are destructive to the earth? Are we all willing to revert back to a more simpler life, are we going to slowdown the population growth so that we no longer need to rape the forests and trees to clear for food production? Is this possible? Perhaps.. I can hope and pray. And if we destroy ourselves and life as we know it here are earth, it is most likely that over time, the earth and Mother Nature will heal, new life will emerge and she will continue on when humans are long gone. Life is a circle……Personally, I live each day, am grateful for what I have. Yes I have hope and dreams that humanity will pull through. The hopes and dreams are what drive me to deal with these issues..