When I saw today’s question, I thought that in some ways asking “What have I unlearned “might be more appropriate. My religious upbringing was filled with so many rules and regulations. I was taught that grace had to be earned, that God would not love me if I was not perfect, and on and on. Anxiety was my constant companion. I was so afraid of failure that I missed out on so many opportunities to be fully alive. So now, in the winter of my life, when many of my talents are limited by physical challenges, I am blessed with the realization that being kind to both my self and others is always a choice that can never be taken away or lost. We are all called to be the peace we seek, the love we crave, the light in the darkness that can shine even when the reaper rides. I have finally learned and accepted that: Life is process not product. I share a quote from spiritual teacher Jeff Foster that sums it up for me: “Spiritually-speaking, you do not heal “from” trauma, and nobody heals you either. You simply reconnect with that sacred place in yourself that was never traumatised, never broken, never damaged in the first place; your true Self, absolute and ever-present, innocent and free. It is not a destination, a “from”; it is You, alive and awake in the moment, right here” –

How have I experienced the transformative power of grateful living? For me, it all comes down to willingness. When I realized that my job is willingness and God’s/Life’s job is transformation, gratitude flowed in and through me. Willingness changes perspective. It opens both mind and heart. I’ve shared this poem before but there is always new visitors to this sight and so I share it again. It was written in the middle of the night in 1995 when I felt that there wasn’t even a single thread of life as I knew it available to me.
Wings of Willingness by Carol Ann Conner (1995)

You too can fly. But that cocoon must go! Anonymous

The Butterfly awakens inside the cocoon – TRAPPED.
Her wings embedded in her sides – CHAINED.
Her mind is reeling – AFRAID.

Every circumstance says she can’t move.
She bargains; she pleads. But at last, she lets go.
The power of surrender surges through her.

Little by little, the darkness begins to fade into light.
She’s learning to trust.
At last, she’s embracing true freedom.

Her prison begins to crumble.
Her wings begin to spread.
SHE FLIES!

Some of us build cocoons from the inside out,
And the only way to shed them is to let go.
No amount of digging, scratching, or pushing can remove them.

Only letting God send those who can comfort and guide,
Only letting God peel off one layer at a time will constitute real change.
Transformation is God’s business. Willingness is mine.

When I can truly let God be God,
My wings will spread and I will discover that
I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE TO FLY!

Antoinette, BIessings always and all ways. I share the quote I put in my own reply to this question because your words say the same thing to me: “Spiritually-speaking, you do not heal “from” trauma, and nobody heals you either. You simply reconnect with that sacred place in yourself that was never traumatised, never broken, never damaged in the first place; your true Self, absolute and ever-present, innocent and free. It is not a destination, a “from”; it is You, alive and awake in the moment, right here” – Jeff Foster

Rabbit, I read the article Avril sent and am so thankful that I did. It sounds like you are attempting to second guess the future. Fear does that. As I use to tell those I sponsored in 12-step. If you are in the past or the future, you go there alone because God IS…The strength we need flows in the present moment. If you are struggling to decide whether to medicate or not, I suggest you arise each morning and decide what you will do…take the med or not take the med. Yes or No and then let it go for the day. AND DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP!