I thought this quote applicable to today’s practice: “A Wisdom way of knowing . . . requires the whole of one’s being and is ultimately attained only through the yielding of one’s whole being into the intimacy of knowing and being known. . . . It doesn’t happen apart from complete vulnerability and self-giving. But the divine Lover is absolutely real, and for those willing to bear the wounds of intimacy, the knowledge of that underlying coherence—“in which all things hold together”—is both possible and inevitable.” Cynthia Bourgeault, The Wisdom Way of Knowing: Reclaiming an Ancient Tradition to Awaken the Heart (Jossey-Bass: 2003), 10.

Good Morning This morning’s message on waiting has been such a timely message for me, reminding me that when one is in the present moment, there is no waiting. Last night, I crawled in bed at 7 p.m. as my spinal and rib pain levels were such that I found standing and setting too challenging. I drifted in and out of sleep, waking several times to find that my pain was not subsiding. I think it was about the third time the pain awakened me that I realized that I was so afraid of the present moment, of my ability to endure the pain that I was stressing out, waiting and hoping it would subside. I was in fight and flight mode. My poor body did not have a chance. When I admitted this to myself, I felt my awareness shift from fight and flight to face and flow. Compassion surged. I felt totally in the moment and grace seemed to rise from within. My former resistance faded and I was reminded of something I used to tell those I sponsored in 12 step circles. “If you’re in the future or the past, you go there alone because God is. The strength you need is always available in the NOW.” I got up and set up the heating pad. I practiced deep breathing to help my body move from the sympathetic to the parasympathetic nervous system. My pain did not miraculously disappear but it eased and I slept through the rest of the night. God is not a being. God is being and it is very important to remember that I am on this earth to learn what it really means to be human being. Blessings, Carol

As I read the normal day mantra which is designed to set my intention for the day, I realized that of late my focus is not on each day but rather on how I can accept the physical and emotional pain I’m experiencing gracefully. I regularly pray to let it be my teacher but find it hard to accept it as normal. I’m chuckling. Many years ago I played the character Luisa in a musical called the “Fantasticks.” The first act is based on Luisa’s fantasies and Luisa ardently seeks adventure and cries out , Please, God, please, don’t let me be normal.” In the second act, Luisa experiences a solid dose of reality. The act opens with the song, “Try to Remember.” by Harvey Schmidt and Tom Jones. Mary Jean Irion’s intention is a beautiful prayer that reminds me to be present to the day not just my pain. I will”Try to Remember” this and follow.

Try to remember the kind of September
When life was slow and oh, so mellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When grass was green and grain so yellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When you were a young and callow fellow,
Try to remember and if you remember then follow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That no one wept except the willow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That dreams were kept beside your pillow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That love was an ember about to billow.
Try to remember and if you remember then follow.
Deep in December it’s nice to remember
Although you know the snow will follow.
Deep in December it’s nice to remember
Without a hurt the heart is hollow.
Deep in December it’s nice to remember
The fire of September that made you mellow.
Deep in December our hearts should remember then follow.
Then follow

The line, “We are the feast” rings so true for me. That probably would have been my choice for a title to Saiser’s poem. I’ve spent many holidays without spouse or extended family but there have always been others who invite me to join them or who are grateful for the invite to join me at my table. This whole journey we call life is about learning that we belong.The words of my mentor from long ago ring in my ears.”We are here to integrate our insides with our outsides.” My own growth in awareness elaborates on that integration: “We are all here to move from longing to belonging.”

The best definition I have ever heard for the word compassion is to be with. It says to me, “Come to every situation with an open mind and an open heart.” An open mind and an open heart breed empathy not sympathy. I don’t think that others want us to feel sorry for them. They don’t want pity. They want understanding and acceptance because no matter what they are battling on the outside, there biggest battle is on the inside. It is the battle with self and it always helps to have a friend with skin–a friend to listen, providing a mirror to our soul. Caring and sharing works miracles.

What does it mean to embody something? Embody is a challenging word. How do I embody faith. I guess that requires me to define faith. For me it is trust and if I do not learn to trust myself, how can I trust life and be willing to risk when it is important to take the risk of trusting others? How do I embody hope? I think of the well-worn phrase of many evangelists. “Expect a miracle.” I don’t expect miracles but I do expect to be shown a way to make it through difficult times. When longing permeates every fiber of my being, I remind myself that I belong. I’m part of this fascinating and challenging experience called life. And last but definitely not least, how do I embody love? For me, the key is willingness–willingness to be an instrument of what religious doctrine calls “grace” and scientists call evolution. Love is not a feeling or a product. It is a decision delve into the process—to be a life-giving force to all we meet. I’m reminded of a quote from Eckhart Tolle: “You are not IN the Universe. You ARE the Universe—an intrinsic part of it. Ultimately you are not a person but a focal point where the Universe is becoming conscious of itself.”

Thanks for sharing, Cathy. Life is indeed a dance with mystery and the opposite of fear is not always courage. It is love. Psalm 46:10 comes to mind. “Be still and know that I am God” is the most known translation but the bible I have had for over 60 years says, “Desist and know that I am God.” In my experience desisting instead of resisting helps me relax and release, let go and allow the ever present grace to flow in and through me. Our finite minds will never understand the great “I AM” but it can be experienced.