Good Morning, Please read the essay below… I found it on Facebook with an anonymous author. It speaks of the need to be grateful, to help one another and to give thanks for being alive. It truly brought the power of gratefulness home to me.
Imagine you were born in 1900.
When you’re 14, World War I begins and ends when you’re 18 with 22 million dead.
Soon after a global pandemic, the Spanish Flu, appears, killing 50 million people. And you’re alive and 20 years old.
When you’re 29 you survive the global economic crisis that started with the collapse of the New York Stock Exchange, causing inflation, unemployment and famine.
When you’re 33 years old the nazis come to power.
When you’re 39, World War II begins and ends when you’re 45 years old with a 60 million dead. In the Holocaust 6 million Jews die.
When you’re 52, the Korean War begins.
When you’re 64, the Vietnam War begins and ends when you’re 75.
A child born in 1985 thinks his grandparents have no idea how difficult life is, but they have survived several wars and catastrophes.
Today we have all the comforts in a new world, amid a new pandemic. But we complain because we need to wear masks. We complain because we must stay confined to our homes where we have food, electricity, running water, wifi, even Netflix! None of that existed back in the day. But humanity survived those circumstances and never lost their joy of living.
A small change in our perspective can generate miracles. We should be thankful that we are alive. We should do everything we need to do to protect and help each other.

This Pandemic, this racial unrest, this politically-charged psychological fear that’s at war with our sanity can be overwhelming. How does one choose who or what to hold in one’s heart? Buddhist Sharon Salzberg says, “This looks like a world who can use some love.”

As I watered my flower garden this morning and I discovered a slew of little bugs eating my California Giant Zinnia plants. I have nurtured them through drought and they are just starting to bud and bloom. My heart rate quicken as I frantically tried to capture the bugs and kill them. I felt so violated. It never dawned on me to consider their point of view.

My son has a big organic vegetable garden and he recently showed me a row or beautiful broccoli plants and said, “I’ll be bringing you some fresh broccoli in a couple of weeks. A few days ago he stopped by my house to help me with some things and said, “No broccoli, Mom. Some white butterflies wiped it out overnight.”

I said, “Oh, Son, I’m so sorry.”

He replied, “Oh, well, they really were beautiful butterflies.”

If there is one thing that this Pandemic has taught me, it is this: We are all vulnerable. . The vulnerability is world-wide. It is a shared vulnerability and quite frankly, it has always been there. Winning and Losing is a fallacy.

I’m reminded that I must ask myself daily: How am I meeting my current experience? How am I holding IT in my heart today? Do I truly realize that what I do matters? I’m reminded of that old hymn, “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands.” I find that a fantasy. Free will puts the whole world in our hands.

I will continue to try to protect my zinnias but I will remind myself that the bugs will continue to forage for their next meal. That’s life.

When I think of the word compassion, I remind myself of its origins (com-to be with) and passion (emotion and endurance). Right now, I’m struggling with injuries from a fall into a window well…yes, a window well! I’m furious at myself for not being careful enough to avoid the mishap but I am very thankful it did not result in broken bones. I am struggling with a painful ankle, hip, arm and neck. When I start to chastise myself about the miss-step that resulted in the injury, I have to treat myself with compassion. I’m reminded of a quote from Native American wisdom: “A river does not run backward. That’s one of the Creator’s laws.” Compassion is the way we help one another and ourselves endure.

I’ve always struggled with the word courage. Perhaps, because in childhood the message I got made me question my worth. It made it hard for me to understand the difference between healthy fear and psychological fear. I failed to grasp that healthy fear is my friend. It is a signal that there is real danger. I failed to understand that in most cases my fears were psychological and psychological fear is my foe. It is usually a fear of failure. It tells me the only way to be in control is to avoid risk. It whispers, “You can’t fail if you never risk.” And so, I think it is safe to say that my first reaction to most situations that involve risk is anxiety. A need for total control is always my first reaction. I’ve learned to stop and challenge it. I’ve learned that there is a difference between being “out of control” and “losing control to my spirit.” I’ve learned that my “intention” will determine my “attention.” The roots of the word courage speak of a brave heart. I think we find courage when can picture ourselves challenging what our head is telling us with the loving energy emanating from our hearts. My 12 step sponsor used to put it this way: “The opposite of fear is not courage. It is love.” Courage is the cultivation of a brave and loving heart. It sees responsibility as the “ability to respond.” It understands that to act is different than to react. It knows that when I can own my thoughts and feelings, they will not own me.

I’m reminded of a true story about a friend whose sister was struck by a debilitating disease and confined to a wheel chair at a very young age. My friend went to visit her and found her deeply depressed and distraught. The young woman felt useless. She felt she had no purpose. My friend took her sister into her arms and said, “You must never forget that your very “being” glorifies the Lord.” We are “human beings” not “human doings.” Life is process not product. We tend to confuse the word “worth” with the word “worthy.” I know that my religious upbringing stressed my unworthiness. I was confused by that message and decided my worth rested in my ability to perform. It took years and years for me to understand that life never calls us to perform. It calls us to be present. I have come to believe that the willingness to embrace the moment is my only purpose. I think if we all learn to “BE” then what we “DO” will be transformative.

The encounter that comes to mind was very upsetting. It happened last week in a grocery store. Since the Pandemic hit, I only go out very early in the morning when the store is not packed. I quickly shop for essentials and I always wear my mask.

I had entered an empty aisle when a a young woman pushing a cart entered the same aisle from the opposite direction. She was followed by two men who looked to be in their twenties. As they started to pass me, the woman appeared to be scanning the shelf in search of something. One of the men spoke to her with such hatefulness my whole body stiffened. He said, “You stupid, Bitch, you can’t even read” and he pointed at the item for which she was apparently searching. She did not respond to him or react in any way. She just reached out and got the item off the shelf and placed it in the basket with her eyes cast down.

It was all I could do not to confront him but if I did, I sensed she would pay later. I will admit he scared me. If he treated her like this in a public place, how did he treat her in private? What circumstances made it impossible for her to remove herself from his life?

Today’s quote says to “treasure each encounter.” How do we do that when we witness such hurtful and hateful rhetoric? Should I have spoken up? Should I have said to that young man, “What’s wrong with you?” I remember as a kid, I was bullied. I used to tell myself, “Sticks and stones may hurt my bones but words will never harm me.” That is so untrue. When one’s self-image is scarred, doubt will always arise from time to time.

I have a heavy heart and that woman’s face will be with me forever.

Spending 24 hrs./7 days a week basically alone makes it hard to ignore my shortcomings and my strengths. The stillness, the time for reflection, makes me vulnerable and vulnerability is necessary to grow in self-awareness. Self awareness is the key that opens the door. You can’t give away something you don’t possess.You can’t expect to be an instrument of positive change in the world if you are not willing to be an instrument of positive change in yourself. Life is process. The possibility of growth is unlimited. Today’s quote by Charles Eisenstein speaks truth to me: “Ultimately, work on self is inseparable from work in the world. Each mirrors the other; each is a vehicle for the other. When we change ourselves, our values and actions change as well.” As I pondered today’s question and quote, I found myself on you tube listening to various folks singing the St Francis prayer: It’s become my mantra in these challenging times.
Make me an instrument of your peace
Where there is hatred, let me sow love
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith
Where there is despair, hope
Where there is darkness, light
And where there is sadness, joy
O Divine Master, grant that I may
Not so much seek to be consoled as to console
To be understood, as to understand
To be loved, as to love with all my soul