I’m in the midst of that right now. Job searching is a process in trusting life. I’m not always doing the best. I really thought I was a good fit for a specific job that I interviewed recently. I obviously wasn’t as I didn’t get it. It threw me into a bout of uncertainty and lack of confidence. I have an interview tomorrow and am trying to just “trust” and not manufacture. I do know, from lessons from the past, that when I’m trusting I’m much more at peace. Of course, going through “the change” doesn’t help with the lack of peace right now.

Two issues come to my mind (besides the response to Linda’s that I also resonate with):
1) Currently unemployed when they closed my GED program down after 8 years due to funding. The blessing was that prior to this, I was already thinking and starting to prepare for a change because I was burning out on the population I was working with (they have a lot of barriers that continue to plague them that get in their way of success and completion). I had already determined that I wanted to return to the regular elementary classroom figured it wouldn’t be until this coming school year. So, I continue to work those few GED students that got caught when we closed and volunteer my time to assist them. Now the jobs are starting to be posted and I’ve been putting in applications. The challenge has become the fact that often these early turn downs are because they have people within the district that are moving around. I try not to take it personally but it’s hard. I’m having to relearn (I’ve been here before) that I WILL get a position and when the timing is right. The gift is learning to continue to trust.
2) Dealing with generational “demons” as Sarah mentioned. I have a family member that mostly likely has diagnosed borderline personality disorder. It has taken many years and repeated counseling of my own to realize the impact it had (still does) on me. The gift would that I have become more self-aware with the ability to see when I need to change my own behavior. It’s also given me a much more compassionate view (most of the time) when people are struggling.

I would echo Tracey. Currently I’m looking for a position and there are many unknowns. I get a little panicky thinking about “what if they don’t like my resume” or “what if I can’t find a position” or “what if….”; you get the idea. Yesterday, I kind of had an “aha” moment about some areas of the job search that were causing me angst. Even though that felt good, all day, I’ve felt my heart race and have wanted to avoid moving in that direction even though it feels right. I’m wondering if the resistance to move has to do with fear of rejection. So, I need to just “let go” and trust that I will end up where I need to be and that God, who knows all about my quirks and desires and experience, will allow me to be truly “seen” by the right school and situation.

After reading through some things on here I realize that I probably take my husband for granted a bit. When we were dating and he’d come in the door (we saw each other only on the weekends because I lived about 75 minutes south), I would immediately stop what I was doing to embrace because it had been a whole week since we’d seen each other. Now, I’m often busy getting dishes washed or dinner prepped or walking the dogs, etc., so I need to consciously stop and pay him some attention. I’ve noticed that the hug when he comes home seems to be very important to him.

I SO have to agree. I read this question and immediately thought about something like a physical issue, but when I read your response, I realized that I’m not the only one that sees this as a truly challenging thing (not that I really doubted that others feel this way). I will say that even though I really wish for this situation (person) to go away because it is hurting us, as you mentioned, I have seen growth in myself and others around me. Especially in the area of compassion and understanding of those who are often oppressed in our society. I’m even (slowly) learning to find compassion for those who are so divisive.