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Gratefulness
I am working on becoming more grateful and mindful.
My mom who raised me with faith, my dad who loved me unconditionally, my sister who was always there for me, my best friend for loving me and making me laugh, my late dog, Schubert, who showed me how to love unconditionally (I’m still working at that one, though) and countless other friends and acquaintances like Cory, Sally, Lloyd…..
I go to the basics….things like that I can see, hear, taste; toothpaste, soap; birds, dogs… basically anything that comes to mind. It may not be anything spectacular but try to remember that many people don’t even have these things.
I’ve really started thinking about the fact that time is short and ask myself if what I’m doing is really what want to be spending my life doing and is it making me a better person or not. Of course, there are things like sick dogs, unexpected things, etc. that have to be taken care of but overall, I try to focus on simplifying and enjoying (easier said than done, though).
My husband, my dogs, seeing my best friend, hearing the spotted towhee, finch, and chickadee, the hum from the hummingbird when they first return to the neighborhood in April, when neighbors walking by compliment me on our xeric garden in the front….
Yoga helps with that. Getting off the computer and listening for that “still small voice” helps with the spirit side of things.
Slowing down, getting off the internet and it’s addictive nature to look at “just one more thing”, decluttering my surroundings, and simplifying. These can create beauty.
I’m in the midst of that right now. Job searching is a process in trusting life. I’m not always doing the best. I really thought I was a good fit for a specific job that I interviewed recently. I obviously wasn’t as I didn’t get it. It threw me into a bout of uncertainty and lack of confidence. I have an interview tomorrow and am trying to just “trust” and not manufacture. I do know, from lessons from the past, that when I’m trusting I’m much mo...
I’m in the midst of that right now. Job searching is a process in trusting life. I’m not always doing the best. I really thought I was a good fit for a specific job that I interviewed recently. I obviously wasn’t as I didn’t get it. It threw me into a bout of uncertainty and lack of confidence. I have an interview tomorrow and am trying to just “trust” and not manufacture. I do know, from lessons from the past, that when I’m trusting I’m much more at peace. Of course, going through “the change” doesn’t help with the lack of peace right now.
For all those who wished me luck and sent prayers….I got the position – before I even left the building. That doesn’t usually happen with teaching jobs.
My husband for all his support while I’ve been unemployed.
I’m in the process of trying to find a new position after my program was closed in November. I’m having to spread my wings as I prepare to re-enter a classroom of elementary kids after an 8 year hiatus.
Two issues come to my mind (besides the response to Linda’s that I also resonate with): 1) Currently unemployed when they closed my GED program down after 8 years due to funding. The blessing was that prior to this, I was already thinking and starting to prepare for a change because I was burning out on the population I was working with (they have a lot of barriers that continue to plague them that get in their way of success and completion). I had already determined that I wanted...
Two issues come to my mind (besides the response to Linda’s that I also resonate with): 1) Currently unemployed when they closed my GED program down after 8 years due to funding. The blessing was that prior to this, I was already thinking and starting to prepare for a change because I was burning out on the population I was working with (they have a lot of barriers that continue to plague them that get in their way of success and completion). I had already determined that I wanted to return to the regular elementary classroom figured it wouldn’t be until this coming school year. So, I continue to work those few GED students that got caught when we closed and volunteer my time to assist them. Now the jobs are starting to be posted and I’ve been putting in applications. The challenge has become the fact that often these early turn downs are because they have people within the district that are moving around. I try not to take it personally but it’s hard. I’m having to relearn (I’ve been here before) that I WILL get a position and when the timing is right. The gift is learning to continue to trust. 2) Dealing with generational “demons” as Sarah mentioned. I have a family member that mostly likely has diagnosed borderline personality disorder. It has taken many years and repeated counseling of my own to realize the impact it had (still does) on me. The gift would that I have become more self-aware with the ability to see when I need to change my own behavior. It’s also given me a much more compassionate view (most of the time) when people are struggling.
Late night after the TV is off, the husband is in bed, and I can sit in my meditation/library room. I think there is a sense of hope that no matter how poorly the day went, tomorrow is a new day.
Hot Sauce~ I haven’t been on here in awhile and I open it up and see the top post is yours and it brought tears to my eyes. I took on a new job and am overwhelmed by the stress. Your post reminded me that I, too, have overcome in the past and that gives me hope for the current struggles. One day at a time….
Wow! That is a way to trace a thought! Great insights and reminder of how things are connected!
Love your poetry! Thanks for sharing it.
Thank you, Francine!
Hadn’t thought of it that way before, Bob – early rejection vs divorce. I try to remember there are things I’m not privy to and that even though it felt like a “right fit”, there have been dates in years past that were like that – thought they were the “one” and now I look back and think, “Thank God”! Thanks for the encouraging words!
Ain’t this the truth! I would think many of us have a “closed heart” to ourselves. We are our own worst enemy sometimes.
Great way to word that. I was struggling with this question as I don’t feel it’s “closed” but there are some with whom I’ve had conflicts and we seem to be at an impasse.
I SO have to agree. I read this question and immediately thought about something like a physical issue, but when I read your response, I realized that I’m not the only one that sees this as a truly challenging thing (not that I really doubted that others feel this way). I will say that even though I really wish for this situation (person) to go away because it is hurting us, as you mentioned, I have seen growth in myself and others around me. Especially in the area of compassion and und...
I SO have to agree. I read this question and immediately thought about something like a physical issue, but when I read your response, I realized that I’m not the only one that sees this as a truly challenging thing (not that I really doubted that others feel this way). I will say that even though I really wish for this situation (person) to go away because it is hurting us, as you mentioned, I have seen growth in myself and others around me. Especially in the area of compassion and understanding of those who are often oppressed in our society. I’m even (slowly) learning to find compassion for those who are so divisive.
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