My goal is to be a whole lot more like my dogs, able to live in the moment and just be grateful.
Today, I am grateful for the powdered sugar covered world outside my windows and the contrast of the warmth from the pellet stove. I have decided to name the stove Angus since he is solid and reliable, thus fitting in nicely with this house, which was built by a Scotch-Presbyterian pioneer. That man crafted a house to withstand anything short of a direct hit by meteor, I think, with eighteen inch granite block for the foundation and posts and beams he felled himself all those years ago.
I am grateful for the peace and quiet of this moment, the hot mug of tea by my side, and light streaming through the windows. I am thankful for the quilts and feather duvet upstairs, and the iron skillet that cooked my breakfast in the kitchen.
In the light of Manda’s Great Plumbing Adventure, I am thankful for the hot shower I had last night and a choice of flush toilets available to me. I am grateful for the gift of easy water that so many do not enjoy in our world.
And I am grateful for a quote that came to kind yesterday. It is from William Langland and says, “All the wickedness in this world that man could do or think is no more to the mercy of God than a live coal dropped in the sea.”
Blessings be in your road this day, my friends. I am grateful for each of you as well!
I meant came to mind, but came to kind sort of works as well!
This is a surprisingly challenging question for me today since I live in a place that ought to have me euphoric with gratitude but in which I struggle with remaining, though I can, and do, still choose to see the blessings here. Perhaps I need to do so more.
I am in the country, surrounded by fields. Sunrise through the white pines in winter is glorious! Summer weather is mostly beautiful rather than miserably hot and humid like where we last were. My dogs can run around like maniacs ...
I am in the country, surrounded by fields. Sunrise through the white pines in winter is glorious! Summer weather is mostly beautiful rather than miserably hot and humid like where we last were. My dogs can run around like maniacs in their huge fenced yard, and our chickens can free range without bothering anyone. I live in part of history, and it is a beautiful house. There is more than enough room. We have good neighbors, and I have made some wonderful friends.
And though wanting to move on sometimes makes me fractious about where I still am, in truth, this place is a blessing in many ways. Today, I will choose to see the blessing of where I am more readily than I have been lately.
At the moment, I hear my husband scraping snow off the deck. I am sitting enjoying the warmth of a pellet stove he just lugged a bag to fill. No doubt he will also be going to check on the chickens and make sure they have food and water in this snow. He is also compassionate to me as well as to those in need, equally willing to listen or get his shoulder all soggy when I am hurting or to rush out the door to help a woman who crashed her car in front of our house, like he did Saturday. He is a...
At the moment, I hear my husband scraping snow off the deck. I am sitting enjoying the warmth of a pellet stove he just lugged a bag to fill. No doubt he will also be going to check on the chickens and make sure they have food and water in this snow. He is also compassionate to me as well as to those in need, equally willing to listen or get his shoulder all soggy when I am hurting or to rush out the door to help a woman who crashed her car in front of our house, like he did Saturday. He is a good man, a kind man. I also like that he is not a perfect man since it makes him easier to live with! 😉 I am very grateful!
I am so grateful to be back here amongst you all here in this sacred space. Life has been an interesting journey lately, and all without having to leave the house –much.
The part that stands out most is this weekend.
On Saturday, I enjoyed myself looking through Zazzle and picking out some cards I want to frame as decorations in or new house when we move. I happened upon The Dragons of Heidi Buck, a CA artist who draws the most delectable dragons! I love her botanical se...
On Saturday, I enjoyed myself looking through Zazzle and picking out some cards I want to frame as decorations in or new house when we move. I happened upon The Dragons of Heidi Buck, a CA artist who draws the most delectable dragons! I love her botanical series, so I took advantage of a super duper deal and will seriously festoon our new house in her lovely work.
She draws dragons like I wish I could! The last one I drew turned out looking like one of our dogs — same goofy grin only greener and with red spikes.
I found giraffe art for a friend, koalas for my sweetie, some kitty cat art, new artists, and lots of fun. This was a wonderful in the moment time for me, full of creativity, beauty, and celebration of having a little money to buy with, unlike the previous nine years. The deal was super — $3 cards were about $1!
I was immersed in creativity while my esteemed spouse was happily asnore beside me, dogs and cat sacked out around us, with the clink of the pellet stove making me feel cozy against the softly falling snow.
Eventually, he got ready to go paint a room that has been in process for some time, and I went to work on a website I am designing for a friend’s new endeavor. All was peaceful.
Then there was a loud WHUMP of unknown origin. I hollered up to my husband to see if all was well. He said the whump was not his. I suggested he check it out as I had been unable to see any cause, despite the loudness of the whump indicating that it might be something important.
A few moments later, he came clattering down the stairs as fast as he could go, lunging for his boots, and asking me to grab his coat. “Accident!” he spluttered out, “Accident out front!” As it was still snowing, blowing, and quite cold, I insisted on handing him a scarf and fleece balaclava was well. He rushed out as I called 911 for help.
After some frustrating exchanges with the 911 operator, he came back in to say nonambulance was needed, but a deputy was. Then he went back out with his cell phone.
Turns out a very nice woman had lost control in the snowy conditions and had forgotten her cell phone at home. My husband said if she had not hit some of our landscaping the way she did, she would have flipped over, rolling her car into the huge old maple in the front yard. As it was, the things she hit slowed her progress enough that she came to rest over a large rock that kept her from hitting the telephone pole any harder.
While she was okay, she was quite shaken. I had told my husband to invite her in to the warmth of our house, with the warning that we have dogs. Surprise! She is a vet tech! This was a blessing bridge, really, as it helped her realize we were a safe haven when she was greeted and loved on by three dogs and a cat. They also helped calm her.
I offered a chair and tea, but she said she was afraid if she sat down she wouldn’t be able to get back up! Tissues and conversation were more essential anyway.
She told me she was headed to dinner with friends when she hit a slick patch and started to fishtail. She saw cars coming at her and said she prayed not to be thrown back into their path. Instead, she wound up in our bed full of butterfly bushes snd native grasses.
It all happened in the best possible way with the least possible harm or trauma. Amazing really. I told her that her guardian angel was sure at work!
As she left, she thanked me again, and started to break down a bit. I asked her if I could give her a hug, to which she responded, “I’m a hugger!” As I hugged her, I said, “I’m so glad you were okay!” Then she left.
Afterwards, I wondered why I seemed to be on edge. Then the next morning, I awakened with a feeling of sadness and fear that was not of my current moment.
When I sat with it, an old memory of a car accident I had been in at age three returned. Like her, I was not hurt but I was crying and terrified. Being there for this woman somehow helped put me in contact with an old neglect wound that I had not known needed healing.
When I realized the trauma was still trapped in me, I did an improvised version of Trauma Releasing Exercises, something that was suggested to me last week by my herbalist. I may not have known how to do it perfectly, but what I did really helped! I am looking forward to working with this more. Very simple and easy but profoundly helpful. I felt much calmer afterwards and had a beautiful experience of healing and grace around the memory.
Anyone can do it and it need not be a deep seated old trauma at all. It helps us release the energy generated by various traumas so pain, anxiety, depression, and other symptoms can more easily resolve.
Many blessings to you all! ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you, Grateful Sea. Likewise!
I love Appalachian hollows!
It is good to know it isn’t just me! I have found that links do not work for me on this site for reasons unknown to me. I always have to copy and paste rather than just clicking.
In the spirit of the season, I offer this song. It is one of my favorites. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpFlducSjo8 Enjoy.
Oddly enough, Garrison Keillor did a song for his Christmas album, Now It Is Christmas Again, that talks of a woman named Santa Lucia who takes the warmth, joy, and pasta of Italy to “some Swedes in Minnesota” and changes their life for the better. As my husband is 1/4 Swedish, I can see how the two cultures would be an interesting contrast!
If you don’t know of Garrison Keillor, he gently pokes fun at the people in his fictitious town of Lake Woebegone, many of whom ...
If you don’t know of Garrison Keillor, he gently pokes fun at the people in his fictitious town of Lake Woebegone, many of whom are Swedish or Puritans. It is a humor that includes himself in the joke and that shows how much he loves the very things about which he laughs.
Ohhhh, a plumbing adventure. I had one of those in our old house, and even with a male Mr. Fixit on board, it WAS an adventure!
Kudos to you for your inspirational tackling of it in the true believer spirit of pioneer plumbing grit, but I agree with Kevin that there are times to call in a professional — then shower them with blessings for their help. 😉
That little adventure we had involved a month of patient, fruitless, but well-intentioned snaking of our one and only ...
That little adventure we had involved a month of patient, fruitless, but well-intentioned snaking of our one and only toilet by my husband until the point where I snapped and insisted we call a plumber. This personal snapping point came at midnight, with the toilet to the side of its hole in the house, and me behind the shed under an umbrella in the streaming rain. What can I say? I’m human. My resolve went pfffft in that rain.
The next morning tge plumber came, assessed the situation, hauled a monstrous contraption out of his truck, and fixed the problem. Whole thing took about thirty minutes. It was a moment of awestruck and significant gratitude, I assure you! 😍😍😍
I think one of the blessings in projects that escape to beyond our reach is that they allow us the gift of realizing we do not actually have to handle everything all on our own, and they allow us to celebrate those with talents that often go uncelebrated. People tend to take tradesmen for granted, but what would we do without them sometimes??
Best of luck, oh adventurous spirit. May success attend thy faucet!
Welcome, Ricardo! This is a wonderful site, full of positively charged people all choosing gratefulness practice as a way to negotiate the waters of life.
I think one of the beauties of it is how our conversations with each other and reading others’ responses to the Daily Questions helps keep gratitude in the forefront of our minds. Your gratitude list tends to grow when you are thinking of what good you can share with the wonderful folks here! I love seeing others’ lists ...
I think one of the beauties of it is how our conversations with each other and reading others’ responses to the Daily Questions helps keep gratitude in the forefront of our minds. Your gratitude list tends to grow when you are thinking of what good you can share with the wonderful folks here! I love seeing others’ lists and having their perspectives encourage and challenge me.
Our crisp cool is currently covered in white as an Alberta Clipper storm gave us about four or so inches of snow yesterday and last night. Watching my dogs’ obvious joy in playing in it together is a delight.
Thank you, grateful. It has taken many years and tears to reach this point, but I am thankful to be where I am. There is much sadness in walking away, but there is much freedom, too. Blessings to you.
Oh, dear Manda! I am glad your niece is alright as well as rejoicing in the love and care her older sister has for her. I hope her older sister can release the trauma instead of continuing to feel responsible. What a gift that you were there for her!
As for you mother, I extend to you the empathy of a heart who knows this pain. I think it is especially hard during the holiday season as it is all too easy to engage in fruitless comparison and come out on the tail end. My mother is not l...
As for you mother, I extend to you the empathy of a heart who knows this pain. I think it is especially hard during the holiday season as it is all too easy to engage in fruitless comparison and come out on the tail end. My mother is not like most other mothers, and my father is not like most other fathers. It is my reality.
I do not know your exact situation and do not presume to say ANY of this as suggestion. It is intended only as sharing what my husband and I eventually came to with both sets of parents, amidst many tears. Your path is yours alone. This may be too harsh a measure for your situation.
I won’t bore you with everything that led up to that point, but we have both gone No Contact with our parents. While I am not sure what his parents’ problems are, both my parents are solidly on the Narcissistic Personality Disorder spectrum.
I have known the Dx on my mother for many years, as she was diagnosed by a counselor who knew both of us and who, in mercy, told me the truth. It helped me start healing and distancing from the false idea that the rottenness was my fault, though that was what I had been taught. After having my parents living here for several years and witnessing the dysfunction with adult eyes, I have to say my father exhibits many of the same NPD traits.
Needless to say, it was a very long several years with them here, ending in a huge very ugly kaboom after we asked them politely to hold to the original agreement and find their own place. The ugliness that ensued made going No Contact essential. I will add that it also made it easier since it left no room for other interpretations and overthinking, as I am prone to do. 🙄
You have probably encountered NPD in your field, so you know that they don’t get better, but often worse with age. They start to lose the ability to maintain their filters or inner censors and so hit intolerable levels faster.
We have a responsibility to ourselves to maintain what boundaries we need in order for us to safe and for our health not to be adversely impacted. If this isxwhat is meant by a heart needing protection, then I would have to say Yes, most definitely they do! With some, maybe all that is needed is strict parameters for interactions. Sometimes, as with us, that means making some hard decisions and having no interaction.
I think the real question, and the real sadness, is what we must do with the reality of our relationship. This is an individual decision if ever there was one!
For me, the way my parents are is so toxic that I cannot safely be the person, the daughter, I would have liked to have been to them. I wanted to take care of them in their old age, but I cannot be the loving, caring, giving, daughter taking her mother shopping, running her father to the doctor, or even getting together for the holidays or a birthday. I now know is not safe for me to do so as we have been thankful to have escaped as little scathed as we did. That is a loss and a grief to me.
I will not say my path has been without guilt. Far from it. I have struggled with feeling I ought somehow to “rise above” or “overcome” and still be the daughter I envisioned myself being. I wanted to believe if I just was loving enough, somehow I could manage to handle it. Sadly, that is neither wise nor possible.
In truth, though, I am not abandoning them at all. I am simply allowing them the choices they have made, honoring their right to do so, and making the decisions I need to make for my life to move forward. I honor them by removing myself from their reach while bowing to their choice. I honor them by making healthy choices and moving forward.
Being tied to someone’s dysfunction doesn’t help them or you in the end, no matter how many pieces of ourselves we sacrifice along the way. It only keeps giving them ammo with which to shoot you, which impoverishes their souls even further.
A wise older friend pointed out to me that when a person acts out against another, the soul they are most toxic to is their own. For who can murder without dying inside? Who can slander another without castrating part of their self image? What parent can pour vitriol into the heart of their child without that acid eating into their own soul? And what parent can neglect the emotional or physical needs of their own child without hearing the winds of neglect and abandonment whistling through their fears as well?
It hurt me deeply, but I saw her point.
If I removed their favorite target of wrath, then they would naturally be forced to find another outlet OR to be confronted with themselves enough to foster change. I cannot do a thing about their choices, but I can know that making healthy choices for myself will always inevitably have a positive ripple effect in the universe, even if not in that particular relationship.
I don’t know if that helps. I hope it encourages your heart that there is no guilt in making healthy decisions for yourself, even if that means having very little to no contact with a toxic person — even if you share their DNA.
And on the positive side, we who experienced this emotional neglect and abuse are often given the gifts of caring, kindness, and courage that get needs met in our world. Where would the world be without those wounded healers who dare to care deeply, turning from those who will not accept our love to those longing for it?
Hugs, dear Manda. You sparkle and shine in your goodness. ☀️☀️☀️
Oh, boy! 😍😍😍
Isn’t it wonderful how those we love and lost still communicate their ongoing love to us? I marvel at the web that is not broken even by death.
I do not know if your sister would be open to this, but my mother was helped after her stroke by taking fresh royal jelly, a tsp a day. It helps in a number of ways with building healing, helping damaged areas, and increasing stamina. I was already taking it for healing the Lyme, but I was amazed at how it can help stroke after effects ...
I do not know if your sister would be open to this, but my mother was helped after her stroke by taking fresh royal jelly, a tsp a day. It helps in a number of ways with building healing, helping damaged areas, and increasing stamina. I was already taking it for healing the Lyme, but I was amazed at how it can help stroke after effects as well. My friend who is dealing with some medically induced Parkinson’s symptoms was also put on it, she by our mutual acupuncturist. My husband and I take ours in Aldi MangoPassionfruit juice to cover the taste as its flavor disappears if stirred in well.
I can easily sound like a spokesperson for the bees re royal jelly. It was a real game changer for me!
Liebe Ursula, one of our dogs loves the snow, too! We did not get much, but he spent yesterday insisting he be let out to sit in the dog yard and survey his domain. Sometimes his Labby friend joined him, but she and her sister preferred the warmth of the pellet stove to a cold bum and domain surveying. Lol
Lovely! You got more snow than we did, but we saw the same bright moon!
Here there was more like frosting I smeared on, patchy in spots with some crumbs showing through, instead of the lovely unbroken surface of your “cake.”
It’s falling was peacefilled, though. I saw it start out the living room window while happily looking at images on Zazzle while my husband’s “just gimme half an hour” nap stretched into two snore laden hours. He had gott...
It’s falling was peacefilled, though. I saw it start out the living room window while happily looking at images on Zazzle while my husband’s “just gimme half an hour” nap stretched into two snore laden hours. He had gotten very scant and interrupted sleep the night before, so it seemed kindest to let him sleep on.
With the snow outside as a contrast, I felt the blessing of the moment — the love of my life snoozing beside me and all the dogs and cat sacked out around us. Truly, these are the moments that mean the most when we stop to enjoy them.
Awww, what an adorable little guy! So glad you could enjoy special time together!
I’d also like to add that it is not too late! My husband and I did walk away completely from our respective family messes for good last year, and we are now in the midst of creating that life of our own that is protected from those who have sought to harm it and us all these years. It has taken us great strength, courage, and facing of pain to do this, but things are now moving in a happier direction.
Visit the Practice Space for more opportunities and insights.
This site is brought to you by A Network for Grateful Living, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit. All donations are fully tax deductible in the U.S.A.
© 2000 - 2017, A Network for Grateful Living