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Gratitude Lounge

Welcome! We are glad you are here. This is an open space where everyone belongs, and everyone is welcome. Please introduce yourself as you feel comfortable and join in sharing your experience of grateful living. To get started you might reflect upon questions such as these: What am I grateful for? What is grateful living inspiring me to do? What are some blessings in my life (including ones in disguise)? How am I being supported right now? What connects me to wonder, awe, or a sense of the sacred? You are welcome to include images and links for videos to illustrate your reflections.

  • Cintia

    It’s known as “Spring”. The Bougainvillea (woody, thorny and glowing bush). Originally from Brazil.

    Planted in the garden in my house.
    Home sweet home of birds.

    • Alicia

      That is so very lovely. Thank you so very much.

    • Mica

      Here’s a bird in a bougainvillea 🙂

    • Anna

      Cintia dear friend, I love bougainvillea, we have a lot of them near the sea, oh what a gift!

    • Holly in Ohio

      So beautiful! I love the contrasts between the dark green leaves, the bright flowers, and the deep blue sky!!!

    • Mica

      Thank you, Cintia – my last 2 houses, near Santa Barbara CA, had lots of bougainvilleas. They are a treat.

    • ch

      Cintia, it is wonderful to have such a bush in the garden. I love them. The first time I saw them was on a trip in Israel. There were bushes in different colors, really amazing. Later I bought small ones in pots at the garden center. Some years they bloom but this summer they had only green leaves. Maybe our “Bougies” are not getting enough sun because of the trees around. We have to put them inside during winter.

    • Pilgrim

      Beautiful, Cintia! Thank you for sharing.

  • Holly in Ohio
    These two lovely creatures were found yesterday when I took a short walk and I couldn't resist photographing them. I was hoping I might be able to research and identify what these are today... but no luck. There are so many kinds of mushrooms! I'm lost! I will try asking my neighbor when I get a chance. He has been a professional nature photographer his whole life, and he might know what they are. My best guess for this first one is some kind of Aureoboletus. I noticed that the gills were quite ...

    These two lovely creatures were found yesterday when I took a short walk and I couldn’t resist photographing them. I was hoping I might be able to research and identify what these are today… but no luck. There are so many kinds of mushrooms! I’m lost! I will try asking my neighbor when I get a chance. He has been a professional nature photographer his whole life, and he might know what they are. My best guess for this first one is some kind of Aureoboletus. I noticed that the gills were quite yellow. No… I didn’t touch them!

    Read More
    • Mica

      Here’s the fungus that delights and amazes me. I’ve seen it in a couple places near me but forget its name.

    • Holly in Ohio

      And this one… perhaps an Amanita?

      • Holly in Ohio

        WOW. I figured out what it is… it is a Shaggy Ink Cap, and supposedly it is edible (no – I’m not trying it!) The Latin name is Coprinus comatus, and I found this really cool article about what it can do. I might just try to collect some spores and get it going in my yard, too. https://www.wildlifetrusts.org/wildlife-explorer/fungi/shaggy-inkcap

        • ch

          Nice picture, Holly! My father showed the ink caps to me when I was young. You can eat them only when they are still white such as the one in the background of the picture. We ate them the day we found them because they get black soon. I remember they were delicious.

          • Anna

            Yes, dear ch, my father too loved walking in the mountains and seeking for mushrooms and he spoke me about coprinus comatus, and I suppose he brougt them to me, sometimes, because they are so nice. Maybe I ate them,but I am not sure.

          • Holly in Ohio
            Thank you! That is very good to know. The article above says the ink caps are also good at taking lead and other heavy metals out of the soil! I'm very lucky.... sometimes I get morels in my yard! We didn't get any this year as spring was dry, but most years I get a few.. My neighbor showed them to me first and I always give him some. I saw so many kinds mushrooms today, and even half of a very large fairy ring. We seem to have perfect weather for 'shrooms this fall, and they are literal...

            Thank you! That is very good to know. The article above says the ink caps are also good at taking lead and other heavy metals out of the soil!

            I’m very lucky…. sometimes I get morels in my yard! We didn’t get any this year as spring was dry, but most years I get a few.. My neighbor showed them to me first and I always give him some. I saw so many kinds mushrooms today, and even half of a very large fairy ring. We seem to have perfect weather for ‘shrooms this fall, and they are literally in every yard.

            Read More
      • Palm

        I am fascinated by mushrooms too, Holly. Thanks for the pictures, and thank you so much for your cheerful wishes below! 🙂 I was surprised myself, although I had been thinking about the move for a long time… I am trying to get my daughter to start school. Then I can work and have more time to share. It has been intense (not to say exhausting) having her full time, but wonderful too. Blessings to you, my friend.

  • Alicia

    Palm, I could not reply to you on your return home to Italy. I am so very glad for you. Any move takes courage. How wonderful to be where you wished to be and near family.

    • Palm

      Thank you, Alicia, from my heart. I hope things are going well on your side. I think of you, dear friend.

  • Anna

    Palm, dear friend!
    Are you in Italy, are you in Abruzzo?
    O my friend, does it mean that we can meet?
    An embrace Palm, a virtual.one, for now.

    • Palm

      Yes, Anna! I am here. And I am already jumping with anticipation at the prospect of our meeting. Sending a big virtual.hug back to you 🙂

  • Cintia
    Hello Holly! First of all, I'm sorry because I don't speak English very well! I'm going try to explain, so please, feel free to ask me anything. This project is very special. It was born a few years ago in the face of my grief at the loss of someone very special. I was sick and could not take medication due to reactions and side effects. I needed an alternative to survive and writing was my 'life buoy". I have studied a lot in these years and in November 2019 I started care for people ...

    Hello Holly!

    First of all, I’m sorry because I don’t speak English very well! I’m going try to explain, so please, feel free to ask me anything.

    This project is very special. It was born a few years ago in the face of my grief at the loss of someone very special.
    I was sick and could not take medication due to reactions and side effects. I needed an alternative to survive and writing was my ‘life buoy”.

    I have studied a lot in these years and in November 2019 I started care for people in moments of grief. Everything that the theme includes: death, retirement, relationships, layoffs, children leaving home… in short, the pain caused by the breaking of bonds.

    My project is focused on compassion – compassionate listening and therapeutic writing. Partnership between therapist and patient. It is very special. I am so grateful for the opportunity to help in such a sensitive matter.

    The name of my project is: “Tales and Meetings – Conversations about grief”.

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    • Palm

      How beautiful, Cintia. It must be so rewarding to do this work. I admire that you transformed pain into service. Many blessings to you

      • Cintia

        Thank you Palm!
        May you be blessed!
        Fraternal and grateful hug 🙂

    • Holly in Ohio

      hello again, Cintia.

      What a marvelous project you have! It will help so many people.

      I think your English is quite good. I had no trouble understanding you.

      I am sorry you had the loss of a loved one. I am glad you found a way of working through your grief. Perhaps practicing gratitude will also help in this process.

      Welcome again, to the Lounge! 🌻

      • Cintia

        Thank you Holly!!
        Yes! Practicing gratitude help in this process. It is one of the supporting pillars.
        Fraternal and grateful hug 🙂

    • Anna

      Cintia, a deep bow to you, a warm encouragement for you project!
      You a special woman, indeed.
      May you be blessed and the same for people in need that are walking with you.

      • Cintia

        Thank you so much Anna!
        May you be blessed!
        Fraternal and grateful hug

  • Cintia

    Last year

  • Mike S

    Buckets of rain all day yesterday here in Beaufort South Carolina. When we went on our walk today there were gigantic puddles everywhere, and we got wet. What fun. As kids didn’t we used to jump in the puddles?

  • Pilgrim

    Dear Palm, I am unable to comment below, but want to congratulate you on your move to Italy! To be near family, to be in Italy (where were you before?) sounds like a wondrous gift. And maybe a brave step, too. May your life be blessed in this new place/home!

    • Palm

      Dear Pilgrim, thank you for your message, it means a lot to me. Yes, a wondrous gift, my heart is full. I have been longing to be close to my family for many years. I am conscious that the move happened by grace, so I take nothing for granted, and I walk giving thanks.
      I was in South Africa before, and I am grateful for all the gifts I received in this beautiful land, it was a learning ground.
      Thank you, and blessings to you, dear friend.

  • Holly in Ohio

    I didn’t get my housework done today. I didn’t get to my exercise or meditation. I didn’t get to painting a cupboard door, either. And yet… I feel okay because I broke through my creativity block, at least for today. 😊

    • Anna

      She looks like me, on Saturday, when I have to do everything I have not done during the week☺

    • Mica

      Hooray, Holly! I’ve decided that what’s more important is what we do when not meditating, which is almost all the time, as compared with what we do when meditating. ‘Sitting’ is the name for ‘meditation’ that’s used by some leaders at the Spirit Rock Meditation Center. I like that 🙂

      • Holly in Ohio
        I like calling it "sitting," too. "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind," by Shunryu Suzuki was my favorite zen book ever. He coined, "Just sit," long before Nike's, "Just do it!" LOL. I knit more today. I probably could have finished the project, but I decided to work on the kitchen a bit and ran into trouble putting a couple of cupboard doors back on the cupboards. The kitchen reno was getting stalled again, but I'd really like to have it done by Thanksgiving. I probably won't get the floor done by t...

        I like calling it “sitting,” too. “Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind,” by Shunryu Suzuki was my favorite zen book ever. He coined, “Just sit,” long before Nike’s, “Just do it!” LOL.
        I knit more today. I probably could have finished the project, but I decided to work on the kitchen a bit and ran into trouble putting a couple of cupboard doors back on the cupboards. The kitchen reno was getting stalled again, but I’d really like to have it done by Thanksgiving. I probably won’t get the floor done by then, but we’ll see. Tomorrow I might make curtains. We’ll see!
        Speaking of procrastination… DARE I ASK? Lol. You know!

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        • Mica

          Well, I’m happy with what I’ve gotten done today and am now planning to start my Serious Work – wish me luck, Holly –
          Yes – Zen Mind Beginner’s Mind – maybe I’ll check it out again. Thanks

    • Mike S

      Love that photo. How true.

    • Palm

      Holly, you make me feel better in spite of not getting everything done 🙂

    • Anna

      😊

  • Mica

    Warm wishes to all today, on the Day After Tuesday Prayer Day.

  • Cintia

    Wonderful!

    • Palm

      Cintia, it’s good to see you!

    • Holly in Ohio

      Good morning, Cintia. How re you today?

      • Cintia

        Here in Brazil the Spring weather is too hot! Today is a beautiful blue sky.
        I drank a cup of tea and now I’m writing about my project: “Talks about grief”.

        And you Holly, How are you feeling today? Hope you fine 🙂

        • Anna

          Oh that’s wonderful Cintia, I remember your pictures on flowers as well as Palm pictures.
          It is Spring also in South Africa Palm, isn’t it?
          That is a grace of creation, this round Earth!
          Here is Autumn, for the moment not a.cold Autumn.

          • Cintia

            Yes Anna!!! That is a grace of creation, this round Earth!
            Wonderful! Wonderful world!

            I’m going to take some new pictures on flowers 😉

          • Holly in Ohio

            Hooray, Palm!!! 😄 I’m happy for you, too! It will be so wonderful to be close to family, and in beautiful Italy! Aren’t you full of surprises!!!!!

            I can’t wait to hear what you share of your new home. Best wishes, dear! 😊

          • Palm
            Anna, I have news that I have been meaning to share with everyone. I have moved to Italy with my daughter, about 12 days ago, and have been busy with her (in quarantine) and now with paperwork. I am two towns away from my parents, and my sister is around for three months, she has helped me so much. I am grateful. Thank you, dear friend, for thinking of me, and for prompting me to write, as it often happens:) You inspired me for the move, because when you came to this region, I thought why am I n...

            Anna, I have news that I have been meaning to share with everyone. I have moved to Italy with my daughter, about 12 days ago, and have been busy with her (in quarantine) and now with paperwork. I am two towns away from my parents, and my sister is around for three months, she has helped me so much. I am grateful. Thank you, dear friend, for thinking of me, and for prompting me to write, as it often happens:) You inspired me for the move, because when you came to this region, I thought why am I not there? I get inspired from everyone here, in spite of not writing too often.

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        • Holly in Ohio

          I am well. It is autumn here, and also too hot for the season! I went for a lovely walk and photographed some interesting toadstools which I might post tomorrow.

          It sounds like you have an interesting project, Cintia. Tell us more about it?

  • Holly in Ohio
    This morning I am grateful for the internet and the wonderful people who make it a positive place. I was thinking about love, and how we all need to feel love, and how when we do feel it, it flows on from us and we become a source for love. That made me think of a river, and then I found a new positive use for the internet. We can't always get out into nature as nice as this, but when people post nature photographs or films anywhere on the web, we can enjoy it, too. This river is so lovely and I...

    This morning I am grateful for the internet and the wonderful people who make it a positive place. I was thinking about love, and how we all need to feel love, and how when we do feel it, it flows on from us and we become a source for love. That made me think of a river, and then I found a new positive use for the internet. We can’t always get out into nature as nice as this, but when people post nature photographs or films anywhere on the web, we can enjoy it, too. This river is so lovely and I can hear it. I can almost feel the cool water and smell the forest. I learned today that (at least on the YouTube site) I can right-click on this image and put the film in a loop, so I can sit and meditate here, too, if I wish. Enjoy!
    Good morning, everyone!

    Read More
    • Christine

      Hello Holly, Not far from my house, five minutes walk, is a beautiful forest. The Netherlands is a flat country, but luckily there are hills and search points in my neighborhood. Last week I passed a fallen tree that was covered with mushrooms.

      • Alicia

        How beautiful.

      • Palm

        Beautiful Christine, it’s like fairy land

      • Anna

        This is fantastic Christine, it seems to me that I can smell.the flavors of the wood, and of the mushrooms!

      • Mica

        Thank you, Christine! And the moss, too 🙂

      • Holly in Ohio

        So gorgeous!!!!! 😁 And I love how I can now look at the Netherlands differently. Countries are always more varied than we think they are! In film we almost always see Amsterdam, which is beautiful, but different from this lovely old tree!

    • Holly in Ohio

      Oh no! The film disappeared again… let me try again…

  • Ney

    I am new here. I just joined today. I was really having a hard time in my life but reading all your messages make me feel happy. So I am grateful for all of you.

    • Alicia

      Welcome from Alicia, Northeast , USA. This is a good place with good people.

    • Mica

      Welcome to you, Ney from the Philippines 🤗

    • Cintia

      Welcome Ney!
      Fraternal hug

    • Holly in Ohio

      Good evening, Ney. I’m so glad you came into the Lounge. I hope you stay and speak up often!
      I was having a hard time when I first joined, too.

      • Ney

        Thank you, Holly. I’m planning to visit here every day. Also, I’m from the other side of the world, hehe. So it’s morning here right now. I appreciate you interacting with me. Made me feel loved. <3

        • Holly in Ohio

          Are you in Australia, or perhaps New Zealand? That is exciting! We have someone who visits the Lounge from Italy. There is also a regular in the Questions section that is from the Netherlands. I know there is someone from Mexico. I know there are other places represented, too, but I will have to think on it. I bet you can’t guess where I’m from. 🤣😁

  • Holly in Ohio

    This morning I am grateful for art and artists of all types. Below is a piece by Zander Olsen. I love environmental art, like that of William Goldsworthy.

    “I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream.” – Vincent van Gogh

    • Mica

      Andy Goldsworthy, Holly – yes! Many thanks -💕

  • Cintia

    Today I’m grateful for having overcome a family issue of great pain through the practice of compassion.
    The experience of practicing compassion in a moment of great pain and sadness strengthens the flame of gratitude.

    • Anna

      I am working on that Cintia, it is not easy, so far. But I keep staying on this road.
      First of all, forgiving. The hardest step.

      • Alicia
        Anna, I struggle to forgive what seems unforgivable. I have had events where it took great strength to keep myself quiet...later on I was able to feel relief that I did not speak or show anger about events that have caused great hurt and harm. This is not advice. Sometimes I am spiritually kicking myself for having spoken when it did not do good in anyway except made me feel regret. I work very , very hard to forgive. Cintia mentions the garden...yes, I need to tend my garden of forgiveness...

        Anna, I struggle to forgive what seems unforgivable. I have had events where it took great strength to keep myself quiet…later on I was able to feel relief that I did not speak or show anger about events that have caused great hurt and harm. This is not advice. Sometimes I am spiritually kicking myself for having spoken when it did not do good in anyway except made me feel regret. I work very , very hard to forgive. Cintia mentions the garden…yes, I need to tend my garden of forgiveness.

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        • Anna

          I feel comfort reading you post dear Alicia. I feel understood and not alone.
          Thank you dear friend, grazie!

      • Cintia

        Yes Anna!
        Forgiving is the hardest step. Like a garden, everyday I need taking care.

    • Holly in Ohio

      Yes, compassion does, Cintia. We love our families so much, and when things aren’t right, yes, we feel much pain. I’m so glad you have found some peace. 🌸

      • Cintia

        Thank you Holly! Sometimes the peace is so “fast and small”… but enough to breathe and try again 😉

  • Holly in Ohio
    This morning I am grateful for young people, like my children and the many college students here, who give me hope for our future. I'm grateful for honeybees and all the other pollinators (I enjoyed watching a few fascinating videos this morning, like the one I posted below), and I'm grateful for the nearby tree park that I walked through this morning. This is our city center: Tappan Square. The lovely sandstone memorial you just barely see in the background, is dedicated to the missionaries, fo...

    This morning I am grateful for young people, like my children and the many college students here, who give me hope for our future. I’m grateful for honeybees and all the other pollinators (I enjoyed watching a few fascinating videos this morning, like the one I posted below), and I’m grateful for the nearby tree park that I walked through this morning. This is our city center: Tappan Square. The lovely sandstone memorial you just barely see in the background, is dedicated to the missionaries, four from our town, who died in the Boxer Rebellion. Following that tragic event the college body formed an organization called, Shansi, which is dedicated to mutual appreciation between East and West, and to peace. We send two college students each year on fellowships to eastern nations where they do charitable works.

    Read More
    • Mica

      You live in Oberlin, Holly??!! That’s where I wanted to go to college! I’ve never been there. I pictured some ‘no-name’ little town in Ohio.

      • Holly in Ohio

        Well you will HAVE to come visit some day!

        My father was a professor here…. that was long ago.

        • Mica

          Dear Holly – change is the only constant in life, in one sense, so it makes sense that you see your creative abilities as changing 💕👻

        • Mica
          plural noun: faculties 1. an inherent mental or physical power. "her critical faculties" But yes, Holly, I'm also emeritus as a Research Professor and Adjunct Professor. Someone in our quilt guild said how everything we made must be as good as possible, even the baby quilts. Some time later, I said we should do things as poorly as possible, which is sort of what I do. Baby quilts, for example, need to be sturdy, but they don't have to be perfect. The example, by the prof I'm quoting, is so...

          plural noun: faculties
          1.
          an inherent mental or physical power.
          “her critical faculties”
          But yes, Holly, I’m also emeritus as a Research Professor and Adjunct Professor.
          Someone in our quilt guild said how everything we made must be as good as possible, even the baby quilts. Some time later, I said we should do things as poorly as possible, which is sort of what I do. Baby quilts, for example, need to be sturdy, but they don’t have to be perfect. The example, by the prof I’m quoting, is some grad student who made some really fine instrument to measure some radiation in space, and when the instrument got to space, it turned out to have altogether the wrong sensitivity, or something, and was useless. So I encourage you to quilt! We heard a talk by some well known quilter about having ‘balance’ or something in our quilts. Then, in ‘sew and tell,’ the quilt I shared was quite unbalanced. But I didn’t like the ‘balanced’ quilts by the speaker.

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          • Holly in Ohio

            There you go! I love the rebel in you, Mica!!!! 😄

            I thank you for your encouragement, too. I know I “need” to create, and I’m not sure why I feel blocked this year. It will come eventually. I still haven’t gotten back to the mug cozy or my husband’s vest. I think maybe if I finish something it will give me a little more steam.

        • Mica

          Oh, Holly, I do wish it were a joke, that I’m losing my faculties. I’m hoping they’ll come back some, after I stop stressing about hosting a virtual event next week. Quilters are big on color. Maybe I can learn from your Dad’s teachings and give a presentation to my guild. I think you’re being quite creative here in the Lounge – maybe that’s where your creativity is to be at present 🤗🙃

          • Holly in Ohio
            You are/or were a professor? Of what???? I think that is wonderful! I agree with you about the quilts. Our guild showed a color theory film two months ago. It's all stuff I know, so I just picked up stitches in the dark and hoped it would look okay when the light came back on (an armband on a knit vest for my husband). I wish I could quilt. I'm still hoping to do a very simple scrappy quilt, but I'm surrounded by good quilters in the guild and they all know how to make their seams perfectl...

            You are/or were a professor? Of what???? I think that is wonderful!
            I agree with you about the quilts. Our guild showed a color theory film two months ago. It’s all stuff I know, so I just picked up stitches in the dark and hoped it would look okay when the light came back on (an armband on a knit vest for my husband). I wish I could quilt. I’m still hoping to do a very simple scrappy quilt, but I’m surrounded by good quilters in the guild and they all know how to make their seams perfectly, and I’m only a novice at machine sewing. What is your virtual event about?

            I hope you’re not seriously worried about losing your faculties. I know it’s very scary. Yes, stress most definitely effects memory, at any age!

            Read More
        • Mica

          Oh, thank you – this is the closest to Oberlin that I’ve ever been – ‘hanging out’ with you, Holly, on gratefulness. Yes, I took a printmaking class and one on color – combining colored pieces of paper such that 2 of the same color looked different and 2 of different colors looked the same 🙂
          I’ve been losing an awful lot of faculties lately 🙁😭

          • Holly in Ohio
            hahahaha! You're witty! My dad was a color theorist among other things, and when I was about four, I dubbed him, "Captain Color," a distinction he loved and remembered even on his death bed. When I was a teen, he would sometimes have me grade his student's color theory tests (yes, he checked them after). He designed a color book and a "color box" with color swatches just as you described, and on his color test there was also color matching where students had to try with their acrylics to ma...

            hahahaha! You’re witty!

            My dad was a color theorist among other things, and when I was about four, I dubbed him, “Captain Color,” a distinction he loved and remembered even on his death bed. When I was a teen, he would sometimes have me grade his student’s color theory tests (yes, he checked them after). He designed a color book and a “color box” with color swatches just as you described, and on his color test there was also color matching where students had to try with their acrylics to match a swatch of day-glow orange poster paint (impossible and amusing).

            My dad taught printmaking when our family friend was on sabbatical. His name was Paul Arnold. He was amazing. You can see his prints here. Sadly, I no longer have any of his pieces.
            https://www.invaluable.com/artist/arnold-paul-beaver-ni7kko4d0y/sold-at-auction-prices/

            I’m finding it difficult being creative lately. I think maybe it’s a confidence thing, but I’d like to get back into it. How about yourself? Do you still play with art?

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        • Mica

          What did he profess, Holly? I might have been his student, had I gone to Oberlin. My mother thought it was too academically difficult and too ‘pink.’

          • Holly in Ohio

            He professed all over the place, lol.
            Studio art. You probably would have! At least as an elective.

            Did you know old professors never die?
            They just lose their faculties. 🤣

  • Dusty Su

    Compassion honors our experience; it allows us to be intimate with the life of this moment as it is. Compassion makes our acceptance wholehearted and complete. —Tara Brach

    I am adding an addendum: I finally found the name of the photographer and can happily add it. Photo by Marius Kastečkas.

    • Mica

      Wow, Dusty Su, thanks again – https://www.facebook.com/mariuskasteckas.ie
      https://www.instagram.com/marius.kasteckas/?hl=en

      • Dusty Su

        Fabulous aren’t they?

        • Mica

          Yes – I’ve just enjoyed oodles of his pictures on instagram, and many say #longexposure, which is how he would get those amazing smooth surfaces and other effects – what a gift, Dusty Su, to be introduced to his photos.

    • Anna
      Dear Dusty Su, today here in Italy we remember 368 migrants who died in the Mediterranean, coming from Africa to Europe. It happened 8 years ago. They are still coming, eager for a better life, although we cannot deny that there are criminal plans behind their departures ... and even if they pose a challenge to our countries. So your photo suggests a tragic circumstance, together with the firm belief that we must find a right path, both rational and human, both honest and tender, to keep our d...

      Dear Dusty Su, today here in Italy we remember 368 migrants who died in the Mediterranean, coming from Africa to Europe. It happened 8 years ago.
      They are still coming, eager for a better life, although we cannot deny that there are criminal plans behind their departures … and even if they pose a challenge to our countries.
      So your photo suggests a tragic circumstance, together with the firm belief that we must find a right path, both rational and human, both honest and tender, to keep our doors open.

      Read More
      • Dusty Su
        Sad, tragic, true, and of course, out of the ashes...you have well said Anna. What I love about this picture (again, not mine) is that it is so open to what we want to see in it. It holds space for whatever we need it to be. That is a good space holder. I walk with people in end of life as a Deathwalker. I hold non-judgemental space for them on their terms. Together, we bridge the gulf between this life and the next. Often that means being open and raw in order for them to reflect their ...

        Sad, tragic, true, and of course, out of the ashes…you have well said Anna.

        What I love about this picture (again, not mine) is that it is so open to what we want to see in it. It holds space for whatever we need it to be. That is a good space holder.

        I walk with people in end of life as a Deathwalker. I hold non-judgemental space for them on their terms. Together, we bridge the gulf between this life and the next. Often that means being open and raw in order for them to reflect their light back to themselves so they can move forward. That can be the honest, tender, and opening of doors.

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        • Mica

          Thank you, Dusty – I’ve signed up for the Doula webinar at https://register.gotowebinar.com/#register/3112768413753928204?fbclid=IwAR3Fmpx1Op6EnHtlWjzyb748mgXjV6PwRFOWHNENZoKgJRzGA3XOP1OUrIQ
          The gotowebinar links didn’t work.
          I’m entertained by the similarity between ‘grief’ and ‘grievance.’

          • Dusty Su

            Fantastic…let me know how it goes. I have found a very good Australian Government standardized Pal Care course. I am going to take it soon. I’ll let you know how it goes. I have done quite a few MOOKs from EU and UK, etc. I have done full training with Doulagivers to wherein I can train level 1. and above. But mostly I learned from walking with those at end of life. Next year I may have the opportunity to go to Belize and help set up a hospice. I am really excited.

        • Mica

          Dusty, I do look forward to reading your blog! ‘Deathwalker’ had strange google hits, and it was only sort of far down the page that I discovered the Doulas for dying. Can you recommend any good online courses? My daughter, her husband, and I were all with my mother on the day when she ended up dying. An amazing and powerful experience. I’m grateful to have had it.

          • Dusty Su

            Sounds wonderful how you were able to all be with your mother, and how you feel about it now. That is so great.

          • Dusty Su
            Doulagivers.com run simple, free introductory courses monthly online. If you have Facebook, you can also look up Suzanne B. O'Brien https://www.facebook.com/Doulagivers/ Say Dusty sent you if you end up chatting. We have done a lot of work together. I make no money from this in any way as I am full-time volunteer, btw. FREE End of Life Doula Training Webinar October 21st, 2021, at 7pm ET! What is a Death Doula? A Death Doula is a non-medical person trained to care for someone holistically...

            Doulagivers.com run simple, free introductory courses monthly online. If you have Facebook, you can also look up Suzanne B. O’Brien https://www.facebook.com/Doulagivers/
            Say Dusty sent you if you end up chatting. We have done a lot of work together. I make no money from this in any way as I am full-time volunteer, btw.

            FREE End of Life Doula Training Webinar October 21st, 2021, at 7pm ET!
            What is a Death Doula? A Death Doula is a non-medical person trained to care for someone holistically (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) at the end of life. It is a non-medical profession that recognizes death as a natural, accepted, and honored part of life. One might say that death doulas are to hospice palliative care as birthing doulas are to obstetrics.
            People are readily embracing this specialized area of end-of-life planning, and the field is rapidly gaining momentum. Many end-of-life care experts agree that over the course of the next decade there will be a great rise in demand for alternative care services to accommodate the aging Baby Boomer generation and keep people at home during end of life (rather than residential care facilities).
            Death Doulas are an intricate and integral part of reshaping end of life care for the future.
            Suzanne B. O’Brien RN, creator of Doulagivers, has been at the forefront of the End-of-Life Doula Movement in the United States since it began building momentum nearly a decade ago. She has developed a free training designed for everyone based on her years of experience working with over one thousand end-of-life patients as a hospice nurse and palliative care professional to help make end of life a more positive experience for us all.
            The Level 1 End of Life Doula and Family Caregiver Training is a free course designed so that anyone and everyone can understand the basic end of life processes and how to suggest and offer comfort to families and patients throughout these processes.
            What you will learn in this training:
            1. How to identify the Shock Phase and what suggestions for comfort can be given.
            2. How to identify the Stabilization Phase and what suggestions for comfort can be given.
            3. How to identify the Transition Phase and what suggestions for comfort can be given.
            4. How to interact with patients at end of life.
            5. How to offer emotional support for grieving families during and after death.
            This Training is meant to educate, empower, and remove some of the fear we associate with death.
            Sign-up for this free webinar and take advantage of the life-changing knowledge that has been helping so many people around the world!
            *NOTE* If you cannot make the Live Webinar at the date and time specified, we will send you the replay to the email you provided when you registered, and you can access it at your convenience!
            There will be a Q&A session following the webinar, so please think about any questions you may need answered!
            “The power of presence might be the most powerful medicine we have, but we’ve lost that in our health care system. We’re all in this together. We should support each other however we can.” – Suzanne B. O’Brien RN
            *The information presented in this training is appropriate for everyone: family, caregivers, volunteers, and community members*
            Hear what past webinar participants have said about the free training:
            “The FREE Level 1 End of Life Doula Training webinar from Doulagivers was absolutely amazing. I love online studies and opportunities for personal growth and this course definitely has to be one of the very best I’ve had the chance to partake in to date. It is such important knowledge that I believe it should be included in every high school/ university curriculum. Suzanne engages learners in a personable, compassionate, and practical manner. She takes serious subjects and makes them empowering through providing knowledge and a skillset that anyone can employ for a more positive end of life experience either for themselves or when caring for those they love. I am forever grateful for this course and cannot recommend it highly enough.” – Susan D. (this is my endorsement btw)
            “The Free Doulagivers Level 1 training was a Godsend for me and my friends. I found Suzanne’s class while researching how to support a friend who was diagnosed with glioblastoma, an aggressive, terminal brain cancer. The class is offered for free and provides all the helpful information we needed to support our friend during his end-of-life experience. I gained so much through this course! Do yourself a favor and take this course, it’s more than worth it! Thank you Doulagivers and Suzanne for making a terrible loss a little less scary and much more profound.” – Jana H.
            “I know this sounds crazy, but the Doulagivers Level 1 End of Life Doula Training brought me so much peace. My mother died six years ago, but taking this training allowed me to understand and have closure that I was not able to have before. Thank you, Suzanne!! This training is priceless.” – Lori M.
            Doulagivers is an internationally recognized leader in end-of-life training programs and care.
            FREE Doulagivers 90 Minute Level 1 End of Life Doula Live Webinar Training October 21st, 2021, at 7pm ET. – Click the link below and sign up!
            REGISTER.GOTOWEBINAR.COM
            register.gotowebinar.com
            https://register.gotowebinar.com/#register/3112768413753928204?fbclid=IwAR3Fmpx1Op6EnHtlWjzyb748mgXjV6PwRFOWHNENZoKgJRzGA3XOP1OUrIQ

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        • Mica

          It looks like maybe Deathwalkers are called End of Life Doulas or Doulagivers in my area, Dusty Su. I’d like to find one as my end gets near. When my next door neighbor got cancer, she didn’t want the neighbor on the other side to know – people can be so different and annoying, even, about death. Thanks –

          • Dusty Su
            Yes, exactly. I like Deathwalker for myself, as I have actually died and walked on that side for a while. I companion those at end of life, and at age 60 am in my "dessert phase." After full courses, soups, salads, so am now choosing my treats carefully as I head toward death. Death is so challenging for so many people in so many ways. Those who do best with it, plan for it, talk about it, and are supported. At least mostly. Yes, you are wise to want to find a good Death Doula. You can also ...

            Yes, exactly. I like Deathwalker for myself, as I have actually died and walked on that side for a while. I companion those at end of life, and at age 60 am in my “dessert phase.” After full courses, soups, salads, so am now choosing my treats carefully as I head toward death.

            Death is so challenging for so many people in so many ways. Those who do best with it, plan for it, talk about it, and are supported. At least mostly. Yes, you are wise to want to find a good Death Doula. You can also learn how to be one for yourself and others. There are free basic courses. As my dying closest Thai friend said to me on her last day, “Dusty, write a book on dying, tell everyone how easy it is. How it’s not hard…” so, I am presently writing a blog about it. It’s been in the work for some years. I go in and out of exploring it. Hopefully, it’ll be done and posted soon. I get a bit tired of people asking what was dying like. Actually, I am not tired of them asking, but rather of my telling it, ha! So, having it written and posted will put it in a good place.

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        • Mica

          Wow, Dusty Su – a Deathwalker – amazing. Thanks for sharing

          • Dusty Su
            A Deathwalker is a non-medical person trained to care for and compassionately companion others holistically (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) at the end of life as well as be a support to their loved ones. They offer truthful, empowering information according to the person's needs in order to better understand and navigate the process of dying while achieving good quality of life. They may be any number of: 1. Companioning those who are walking toward death. 2. Walking towar...

            A Deathwalker is a non-medical person trained to care for and compassionately companion others holistically (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) at the end of life as well as be a support to their loved ones.

            They offer truthful, empowering information according to the person’s needs in order to better understand and navigate the process of dying while achieving good quality of life.

            They may be any number of:
            1. Companioning those who are walking toward death.
            2. Walking toward death themselves.
            3. Have died and returned.

            Susan Dustin

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        • Anna

          Thank you Dusty Su.

    • Mica

      Thank you, Dusty Su – that’s an unusual picture – quite captivating 🤗🙃

      • Dusty Su

        I love it, Mica. I wish I could give credit to the photographer. I downloaded it from somewhere and I can’t remember where.
        But I love the metaphor of even in our brokenness, raw and open, we still reflect light on a dark night.

        • Mica

          I’ll again say you’re wise, Dusty Su – not to cling to old experience and ideas, but to upgrade your ideas. An in-law of mine wrote, for her 20th/? reunion, that she hadn’t changed at all. She wrote it cleverly but, as I think back on it, it seems such a foolish way to be – not to change! Change is the only ‘constant’ in life, isn’t it? Warm wishes to you –

          • Dusty Su

            OH, my goodness, yes, so true. Change is the constant. To work with it is the key. I use this thought in my trainings. There is not much we can do with some events, but we can respond with compassion. We always have that within our power.
            Thank you again for your kind words, Mica.

        • Mica

          Thank you – I like your ‘metaphor’ quote above, even more than the Tara Brach quote. Thanks for your wisdom, Dear Dusty Su. 🤗

          • Dusty Su

            Thank you, Mica, that’s kind.
            I see this in the picture, because it is a learned experience…which seems to be upgraded rather often, ha!

    • Holly in Ohio

      Lovely quote. Lovely photo!

  • Holly in Ohio

    We often feel tired not because of all that we’ve done, but because we haven’t done enough of what lights a spark in us.

    • Alicia
      Holly, you did it again....that could be where I will walk or seek out to walk...and when I ignore what gives me life and maybe life to others, I feel very tired..... I so appreciate your posts... I was recently very sick. I missed Prayerful Tuesday. I had symptoms of COVID. I will say quickly I was tested twice -NEGATIVE. I have already written letters of good-bye to my children and grands...and other plans for those I leave behind well before I was sick. I am better and will walk in tha...

      Holly, you did it again….that could be where I will walk or seek out to walk…and when I ignore what gives me life and maybe life to others, I feel very tired…..
      I so appreciate your posts…
      I was recently very sick. I missed Prayerful Tuesday. I had symptoms of COVID. I will say quickly I was tested twice -NEGATIVE. I have already written letters of good-bye to my children and grands…and other plans for those I leave behind well before I was sick.
      I am better and will walk in that photo here in Maine. The photo is similar to a place I go to be able to “breathe” freely and connect with nature.
      I thank you for giving of yourself…and I am grateful for so many others who give of themselves here. Were we were nearer…..

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      • Holly in Ohio
        Oh Alicia! How scary! I'm glad it turned out not to be Covid and that you are feeling better, but still... scary! I'm glad you are back. I missed you when you were absent, and just figured you might be busy. I used to live in Maine! Don't get too excited, I was literally at the southern point... in Kittery Point, ME.... which I know to some is just barely being a Mainer! But I dearly love the state, particularly the coast. And yes, I would go hiking in the woods there, too... so long as...

        Oh Alicia! How scary! I’m glad it turned out not to be Covid and that you are feeling better, but still… scary! I’m glad you are back. I missed you when you were absent, and just figured you might be busy.

        I used to live in Maine! Don’t get too excited, I was literally at the southern point… in Kittery Point, ME…. which I know to some is just barely being a Mainer! But I dearly love the state, particularly the coast. And yes, I would go hiking in the woods there, too… so long as the midges weren’t out in force, LOL.

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    • Mica

      Thank you, Holly – that’s lovely! as is the photo 🌲

  • Holly in Ohio
    I'm trying to shake up my habits into a healthier pattern, so this morning I made myself go for a short walk before coffee. It is lovely out! So nice and cool and sunny. The leaves are changing. The walk made my coffee taste better, lol. I am also grateful for the unexpected return of Mr. and Mrs. Hopeful! (Mr. Hopeful is the young sparrow who nested in a box outside my kitchen window this last spring, and raised family there). They came back with four of their fledglings and I knew right awa...

    I’m trying to shake up my habits into a healthier pattern, so this morning I made myself go for a short walk before coffee. It is lovely out! So nice and cool and sunny. The leaves are changing. The walk made my coffee taste better, lol.

    I am also grateful for the unexpected return of Mr. and Mrs. Hopeful! (Mr. Hopeful is the young sparrow who nested in a box outside my kitchen window this last spring, and raised family there). They came back with four of their fledglings and I knew right away it was them and not other sparrows. It was clear the “children” recognized their birth home and they all tried piling into it at once along with mom. Well of course they couldn’t fit, so it was quite a circus with them squabbling, 3 inside, one half-in, half-out the opening, and one more trying to get in! Mr. Hopeful just perched on their “porch” and puffed up to three times his normal size. He looked like an enormous dandelion puff-ball. The second, third, and fourth days Mr. and Mrs. Hopeful came back without their kids. Mrs. Hopeful is rearranging the furniture so to speak. We can’t decide what she’s doing as she seems to be taking things both in and out. Redecorating? She still seems to like plastic. I don’t know what she’s thinking because sparrows don’t stay here all winter. There is a cloud of them gathering in a bush two doors down, and I’m sure the Hopefuls are there, too. One day, before a winter storm, they will all head south together and be gone for a few months. We will empty the box when the snows come, so it will be fresh for spring.

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    • Mica

      Fascinating, about your bees. Indeed, “Cameras so small they can fit on the back of a bee are developed by scientists so they can film how the insects collect honey” developed by scientists at Bangor University. [Wales, not Maine!]

      • Holly in Ohio
        Lol. There is a Bangor in Northern Ireland, as well. I'm glad to know the cameras do exist! I thought I had seen it on a PBS film called, "The Queen's Garden," but these days with animation getting better, I wasn't sure it was the real thing. Miraculous they can fit cameras that small, don't you think? Almost like that old movie, "Fantastic Voyage." Though it is not storming, we are having about 5 days of off and on rain, and I haven't seen any sparrows, so perhaps the family has moved fur...

        Lol. There is a Bangor in Northern Ireland, as well. I’m glad to know the cameras do exist! I thought I had seen it on a PBS film called, “The Queen’s Garden,” but these days with animation getting better, I wasn’t sure it was the real thing. Miraculous they can fit cameras that small, don’t you think? Almost like that old movie, “Fantastic Voyage.”

        Though it is not storming, we are having about 5 days of off and on rain, and I haven’t seen any sparrows, so perhaps the family has moved further south, though I think usually we have some sparrows through November. The pollinators, on the other hand, are EVERYWHERE! They seem to be doing their last frenzied rush to gather. It was so busy in my back yard last night that I couldn’t walk to the compost without all sorts of flying things running into me (accidentally, they are just that fast and intent on their gathering). It looked quite interesting in the fading sunlight. The back yard was FULL! Seriously, I opened the door and even wondered if I wanted to go into it. The air looked like soup! I came inside and still had a ladybug on me. I don’t think those are pollinators, but it was flying around, too.

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        • Mica

          Fun! Thank you, Holly, for the bee radar video. ‘Beeline’ reminds me of the ‘dancing bees’ controversy I heard about at UC Santa Barbara. Karl von Frisch won a Nobel prize for his work, but a UCSB guy, Adrian Wenner, said the bees don’t dance – they just locate food by smell https://www.jstor.org/stable/4331968

          • Holly in Ohio
            I just this morning saw a video where honeybees in a swarm were sticking their rear ends up in the air to indicate they'd found their queen and to "walk this way," and they would pass the message on in a huge mass of bees to the ones in the back. This was not dancing, but it was clearly communicating with body language. I don't know how they find their food. I do know they go out on warm days in the middle of winter when everything is brown here, and will sometimes forage on pine trees in win...

            I just this morning saw a video where honeybees in a swarm were sticking their rear ends up in the air to indicate they’d found their queen and to “walk this way,” and they would pass the message on in a huge mass of bees to the ones in the back. This was not dancing, but it was clearly communicating with body language. I don’t know how they find their food. I do know they go out on warm days in the middle of winter when everything is brown here, and will sometimes forage on pine trees in winter when nothing is in bloom, even though pine trees don’t have pollen. Mycologist Paul Stamets says he has observed them feeding on mycelium, too, (it’s a fungus network) and his research shows when they do they have lower rates of mites. We have our hives outside our dining room window, so we get to observe bee behavior more than most beekeepers, and we can tell their “mood” and tell when they have an invader in the hive, when they are foraging and when they are just going out to defecate, when they are new and “mapping,” when they are hot, and when it starts to rain we see them racing home. They are interesting because sometimes they act individually, for instance, some bees in a hive will guard the entrance and somehow make sure that the bees coming back belong there and aren’t robber bees, a sort of “TSA.” At other times, like when they are swarming, they seem to behave more like a school of fish. I even feel they sometimes communicate with us – I tell people who come by to see the hives that they will “ping” you when they don’t like where you are standing (if you’re blocking a flight pattern). It’s a warning they give before they start getting annoyed, so you just move out of the way. Not bad for a tiny brain, eh? They do have a very keen sense of smell, so we try to be clean and neutral when we go into a hive. When our kids were here we also had to quit buying apple or strawberry shampoos for them! Lol.

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        • Mica
          Wow, Holly - ladybugs eat some sort of pest insects? The smallest camera now is the size of a grain of sand, and the site talked about using it for medical imaging in the body [speaking of Fantastic Voyage]. I couldn't find a video from a camera on a bee, and the Bangor U link was from 2017, so I'm wondering if that bee-camera project fizzled out. Your flying things reminds me of a site I stumbled onto about how they keep mosquitoes out of Disney World, even tho it's built on Florida swamps. 1. ...

          Wow, Holly – ladybugs eat some sort of pest insects? The smallest camera now is the size of a grain of sand, and the site talked about using it for medical imaging in the body [speaking of Fantastic Voyage]. I couldn’t find a video from a camera on a bee, and the Bangor U link was from 2017, so I’m wondering if that bee-camera project fizzled out. Your flying things reminds me of a site I stumbled onto about how they keep mosquitoes out of Disney World, even tho it’s built on Florida swamps. 1. The water is always moving. 2. Rain runs off everything completely and doesn’t collect in little puddles. 3. There’s a hint of garlic spray that repels them, and more. Also, there are feral cats that kill the mice and rats, and chickens that can be tested for the presence of mosquito-borne diseases. This link has a lot of it, in a much friendlier format than the link I first found: https://www.rd.com/article/no-mosquitoes-at-disney-world/
          OK – wish me luck as I try to achieve today’s small goals…

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          • Holly in Ohio

            Wow, Mica! That’s fascinating and much more than I usually give Disney World credit for!

            There are lots of “live bee cams” that watch entrances or are even inside the hive, but I’m having difficulty finding a honeybee camera. But I found this and it’s very cool – a radar rigged bumblebee in Australia.

    • Mica

      That’s quite a story, Holly. I couldn’t reproducibly tell ‘my’ dove parents apart, tho my bro and daughter gave me clues from my photos. Your sparrows are clearly different. I love the photo, on a rebar. Thanks!
      Did you notice differences in behavior of the ‘mother’ and the ‘father’? ‘My’ doves seemed to parent equally, which delighted me.

      • Holly in Ohio
        Yes, it's the behavior that helps me tell them apart from other sparrows, and yes, Mr. and Mrs. Hopeful behave very differently from each other. They both "feathered" the nest, but they chose different things, and he could figure out to turn something long sideways to fit it through the opening, and she could not! Lol. The bird guide says they both sit on the nest of eggs, but she spent more time in the nest by far. He spends time on the "porch" or the clothes line, and of course in the spring ...

        Yes, it’s the behavior that helps me tell them apart from other sparrows, and yes, Mr. and Mrs. Hopeful behave very differently from each other. They both “feathered” the nest, but they chose different things, and he could figure out to turn something long sideways to fit it through the opening, and she could not! Lol. The bird guide says they both sit on the nest of eggs, but she spent more time in the nest by far. He spends time on the “porch” or the clothes line, and of course in the spring he sings. I found this photo above with the rebar by searching for “house sparrows” online, and I wanted a male and a female, but mine look different from these. I think there might be House Sparrows in Europe as well as America, and differences like there are in robins here and there, but I haven’t checked. Mrs. Hopeful is much more muted than the photo above. She’s a soft, sleek, dove gray, more like the photo here. I couldn’t photograph the actual Mr. and Mrs. Hopeful through my window because we have a screen on the window and it blurs the picture! I tried. It just doesn’t work, and if I go out they spook and fly away.

        I found this for telling the male and female doves apart: https://aminoapps.com/c/birdwatching/page/blog/how-to-tell-the-gender-of-a-mourning-dove/D86e_1WNSPu26WYNWRBYB21aaNbk4aRemdD

        How is your motivation going today?

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        • Mica

          Mine didn’t seem to differ nicely in pinkness, and the changes in afternoon sun made them look different as the day went on. Males supposedly have a little iridescent patch on the side of their head, and that was a great identifier – on the rare occasions when the light was such that I could see the iridescence. My bro and daughter saw differences in spots on the feathers, in photos, and that was my most useful hint.

          • Holly in Ohio
            Paint gun! 😁Just kidding! Sometimes I wish I could radio-tag my bees. Or, even better, I've seen a nature program that at least looked as if they rigged a bee with a camera, and that was stunning photography! I wish I knew where my bees go, but they fly 40 miles an hour, and ours often go straight up first to fly over our tall house, so they are out of sight in just two seconds, maybe 3! Sometimes I will be in a neighbors yard or the nearby park and I'll look down and see a honeybee and ...

            Paint gun! 😁Just kidding!

            Sometimes I wish I could radio-tag my bees. Or, even better, I’ve seen a nature program that at least looked as if they rigged a bee with a camera, and that was stunning photography! I wish I knew where my bees go, but they fly 40 miles an hour, and ours often go straight up first to fly over our tall house, so they are out of sight in just two seconds, maybe 3! Sometimes I will be in a neighbors yard or the nearby park and I’ll look down and see a honeybee and wonder, “Is that one mine?” But there is no way to tell. And then some hives are very orderly and get a distinct flight pattern (I like those, they are high producers, too), and others not so much. The ones that do, we sometimes see shifts in flight pattern as the season progresses and certain things come in and out of bloom (cherry, clover, dandelion, etc.) We can make guesses about what they are collecting, based on what’s in bloom and the color and taste of the honey, but it’s only a guess.

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  • I cant let a rich garden center stress me out old guy the owner is a millionaire I get paid dirt just got to ride out three more months then I find a new job lol but it will keep stressin me grateful for a challenge and growing experience

    • Holly in Ohio

      I’ve heard the song before, but this is the first time I really listened to the words! Thank you, Tichondrax!

    • Mica

      Dear Tichondrax – what a bummer! There’s so much greed out there, isn’t there? Thanks for the video – 😜

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