Gratitude Lounge

Hello to all!
It seems that I am making a habit of checking in here, staying for not very long, and then being away for quite a while again before I once again return. I don’t plan this, but I am noticing that this is becoming a pattern. Hmm. I guess I can accept this, and I hope that you, my friends here, can accept this as well.

Times continue to be rather strange. My husband and I continue to isolate. I go to the grocery store, and occasionally to retail stores. I wear my mask. I go for walks in my neighborhood and sometimes I go to the beach. We eat at home and occasionally do takeout. I try to go for a walk everyday, usually first thing in the morning before it’s too hot.

Yesterday I had a very difficult day. I awoke in the morning half dreaming, half thinking of the elections, the supreme court, and the dishonesty and the ruthlessness surrounding all of this and more. It’s as though the dire possibilities of all of this hit me all at once. My head hurt badly. I got up , just the same, and went on my morning walk although it was late morning by now and quite hot. I walked slowly, not getting the increase in my energy level that I usually get when I walk. I spent the day with a very bad headache, feeling sick to my stomach, and going back in bed. (Fun story, huh? 😐). None of this is usual for me. That evening I listened to an On Being podcast from several years ago with Krista Tippet interviewing Mary Oliver. I cried in a few parts of the interview, not just about what Mary Oliver had said, but deeply, over all things that felt painful to me, with awareness of some, but not aware of all that I was grieving. My tears came from my heart, my body, and perhaps my whole psyche. It was deep crying. I went to bed later feeling somewhat better, quite tired, but still with a headache. As I lay in bed my feelings of sadness and deep despair returned. This time the upcoming elections and all the chaos and horribleness surrounding them was on my mind. So I thought to myself, Is this how I am going to live now, Mary? I could be in constant state of despair. But what else can I do with my emotions? Things are so so bad. So I thought- HowI can I take my focus off of the things that I have no control over???
I could focus on how good it feels to relax in bed and so I did think about this. I thought about and relaxed into stretching and positioning my body in whatever way felt best. I noticed how good it felt to take a few deep breaths. I noticed that I could relax and enjoy the peace of the night and so I started doing so. . The air felt good on my face and the sheets so comfortable on my body. I thought about enjoying and appreciating my bed, my bedroom and feeling relaxed and content throughout the night. I did feel good throughout the night. I awoke without the headache, the heaviness, and the nausea of the day before. I was rather surprised that I felt so good! The good feelings of gratefulness had actually lasted through the night.

So today I am feeling a bit tired, but relaxed. I’m not pushing myself to do things but I am enjoying the ease of my day.

So what was all that from yesterday? What had happened? I started the day yesterday feeling the pain of the world and my personal worries and it felt like more than I could bear. I could see no way out. I ended the day realizing I needed to set up some boundaries, and that I could focus on pleasurable sensations and the small (actually huge) gifts of the moment.
Being in the moment, and being grateful.
Hmmm, I think I have heard about these things before.
Wishing everyone consciousness of the joys available to us in the moment.
Sending each one of you love, joy, peace, and ease.
💕💕💕💕💕💕.
Mary