Gratitude Lounge

Oh, sweet Manda, I know those “broke down” moments well. You honor Violet and the gift of her life in your grief. Hugs.

I have not the habit of talking to myself, exactly, but more having a conversation with the person I am with where part of it occurs in my head without my realizing it. Then, I turn and ask a question or trot out a statement that makes perfect sense to me as I was in on the whole conversation but which seems bizarre to the other party. My poor husband has had that happen countless times over the years, some with quite funny results!

Liebe Ursula, I am in tears of joy at this gift. It is also humorous. You see, when God really wants to get a message through to me, it pops up all OVER the place, often in unexpected spots…like here…in another language, no less! Jeremiah 29:11 has been doing everything but leap up off the pavement to bite me in the shin as I walk. 😄

The prayer, too, was just what I need today. Along with some things Diane said, these gifts just appeared for me when needed. 💝💝💝 (those are supposed to be hearts wrapped with bows)

You also show me I need to work on my German more! It has been a long time. When I was first learning, my Donauschwaben Oma was still alive, and she was so happy for any little German I could speak with her. As a kid, I learned enough to know when I was oobeing talked about but not more. I “outed” myself when I responded in German to something that I was not supposed to have understood. Whoops!

And here is Diane, who I was just thinking about! 😊 So good to see you again.

Your retreat sounds lovely. I love how evergreens also envelop with their sweet scent as well as branches and solidity. It’s like being hugged.

I looked up hygge after you mentioned it, and I think they are on to something! Seems much of it is being present in the moment but also making one’s surroundings a place you want to be present to. Coziness. Sounds nice!

I will admit one of my feelings of urgency in the move is due to not wanting to have to tend and stoke that bless wood stove all winter, especially on days where I don’t feel so well. I will muse more on how to make it through the winter with Hygge, as opposed to Agggggh. 🙃

As for the move, we ploddeth onward. It isn’t going as fast as I’d like, but there is likely a reason for this, one that is better for me than my little lemme-outta-here-yesterday idea. 🙄

Oddly enough, I have the very distinct feeling that the emotional sorting, discarding, clearing, and cleaning I have been called to lately is even more important a task for being able to move into this next place and chapter of our lives free and unencumbered. A passage in Henri Nouwen’s “The Inner Voice of Love” summed it up perfectly. It is the one called Go Into the Place of Your Pain. I know you have that book. 😍

Preparing to move house causes you to look at the past, and what works and doesn’t work, what never worked right and needed to be pitched ages ago, and what you actually do want to keep. It makes you consider what you want to bring forward with you into your new life, how even what might once have been kept for sentiment now weighs us down. This house is one we came to with many hopes and dreams for the new job, family, security, and it saw the death of many of those things. Now we move on, when we move on, not with what we thought we wanted but with other very blessed and durable gifts.

A friend of mine said she had the distinct nudge that I needed to add joy to this house, so I went looking at the ReStore and found a beautiful botanical picture, a cheerful peacock, and a cream vase with hummingbirds and flowers on it. I think she is right. When I look around, I realize joy HAS been missing in our environment. The next house will get joy-ed, too, so the gift I/we bought to celebrate our somehow making it through the past year was a set of four adorable curious cat drawings that look like our cat (when he’s awake, that is) and a 1950’s black and white photo of a taxi in New York, window rolled down, with a llama sticking head and neck out. All made me smile or laugh, so they brought joy.

Seeing you pop up brought joy, too, and I am absurdly thrilled that you will have your own laptop so we see you more often! 😊😊😊

Oh, slw, my heart goes out to yours. Three such profound losses so close together are indeed overwhelming, especially as two of them carry with them the added loss of hopes and dreams attached to the twins and life with your partner. Your grief is heard and very valid.

If you are in the US and with a mind towards church at all, there is a group of folks called Stephen Ministers who are trained to walk alongside those in grief or crisis. It is ecumenical, so they will be in a variety of denominations. There is no fee; you need only find where they are near you and ask for someone to be assigned. They are not counsellors, but they do have some grief and crisis training. No one can “fix” the griefs you have right now, but it could help to have a safe person walking alongside you during this time.

One of the hardest answers to deep grief is time. When we go through the depths, we want a fast way to feeling better. There isn’t one, really. We honor the enormity of our grief by accepting that it will be with us for awhile, by realizing that incredible hurt takes time and love to move though. For you will move through to a happier place one day, just not today or tomorrow. Give yourself the gift of feeling whatever you feel without judging yourself for feeling it. We are just plain a mess following major losses such as you have had lately.

As for this place, it is a sacred space. You will find other souls dealing with pain, grief, loss, illness, and other hurts, walking together on this journey. It is a quiet sanctuary on the Internet, which is often such a loud, aggressive place.

So welcome here amongst us. I will hold a healing space for you in my heart and will go light a candle for you now.