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Gratefulness
Annoyances seem to come with lessons built in, at least around here.
I trundle down the basement steps clutching piles of wet jeans so I can hang them close to our wood burning furnace, saving a bit of propane our clothes dryer might have used. That seems like a farce when we discover a fitting on the propane tank has been leaking, letting hundreds of dollars worth of gas drift away in an ecologically irresponsible manner.
We have fresh milk, butter, and cheese thanks to our cow Isabelle. We avoid calculating if we’re actually saving money this way, but it’s obvious when it costs us. Like now, when we couldn’t harvest a single bale of hay last summer due to flooded fields. These days we have to buy each mouthful of hay she eats in exchange for the food she provides us.
I’d like the straw of everyday annoyances to turn into gold. But then I pay attention.
Anne Anderson/Wikimedia Commons
What I can’t grow and preserve myself, I like to get in bulk from a natural foods co-op. It helps us afford organic food. But not when I find grain moths in my 25 pound container of buckwheat groats. Guess the chickens get buckwheat added to their diets and my kids won’t have to complain about pancakes the color of wet cardboard.
Sometimes I’m tempted to indulge in a Rumpelstiltskin-like tantrum. I don’t want to hear about the money we need to fix a tractor. I don’t want to clean a pile of dog puke or stay up late to meet another deadline or deal with unspeakably stinky laundry. I’d like the straw of everyday annoyances to turn into gold.
But then I pay attention.
Right now two of my sons are sitting by the fireplace talking and laughing with their father. My daughter is coming in from the barn, snow melting on her hair and on the bucket of eggs she’s carrying. The small dogs are wrestling at my feet while our old German shepherd rolls over to avoid watching such unruliness. It’s all perfect — exactly as it is. My socks still have holes, the window molding is unfinished, there are muddy footprints by the door. But none of that matters.
This is golden.
Laura Grace Weldon is the author of two poetry collections, Tending and Blackbird, plus a handbook of alternative education titled Free Range Learning. Her background includes editing books, leading nonviolence workshops, writing poetry with nursing home residents, facilitating support groups for abuse survivors, and teaching classes in memoir and poetry. She lives with vast optimism on a small farm where she’d get more done if she didn’t spend so much time reading library books, cooking weird things, and singing to livestock. Connect with her at facebook.com/laura.euphoria or at lauragraceweldon.com.
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Thank you for your words of love.
Oh, Laura Grace this is so beautiful and so true! It makes me think of when I was younger and was not grateful much of the time, took so much for granted and focused more on the “annoyances” of life. Yet, God unconditionally and lovingly continued to shower me with an abundance of blessings. God is our Friend. I am deeply grateful I have learned to focus on all the gifts and blessings and not the “annoyances”. I owe much of this to gratefulness.org. Thank-you Laura Grace, thank-you gratefulness.org., thank-you God!!! Peace and love to all, Sheila ??
Yes indeed, Sheila. And oftentimes the gifts and blessings are right there in our annoyances!
Oh yes, Laura Grace! The ” annoyances” in my life have been a true gift and blessing, causing me to turn within. Without them there would have been no growth. At the time the “annoyances”were occurring, I often could not see the blessing in them, but now I am grateful for them.
Laura, I love this call to pay greater attention to the abundance of our lives, in spite of our daily annoyances. So much depends on how we choose to see our world.
Choice makes all the difference doesn’t it?
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