Want to learn: 1) To refresh my Spanish and French so that there is not such a verbal chasm between me and my neighbors.
2) learn new mantras to see myself through waiting for my husband’s biopsy results. His chemo continues ( for those who recognize me)
3) to trust again that all is unfolding as it should
4) to trust when I reach out someone will respond ( other than medical staff)
5) to relearn “Give thanks no matter what happens”
Bless you all, Community. I see courage or refreshing hope in all that I read.
My husband kissed me and told me I look lovely. My interior does not feel that way from sleeplessness, fear, and pain of seeing him suffer.
My joy: I’m humbly reminded we are fortunate to have one another. We have time at this very moment I thought we would not have at all when he was diagnosed with cancer last Spring. We will see another Spring together .
Dear Friends, I have read all the posts today. I’m in tears of gratitude and relief. I’m not invisible as I thought. I am grateful prayers, lighting of candles, and suggestions of visualization have been given to me. It takes courage to give but also to receive. I receive.
Later, when I can speak without interruption of weeping, I will tell my beloved of what my friends wrote.
Thank you all for putting love and care into your words.
Today is harder than I expected. I can make more steps without feeling the weight thanks to you. Alicia
Anna, Diane, Pilgrim, and all who write or read , thank you for writing or well wishes and prayer. Another early morn. I’m up before 3. My husband’s rhythmic breathing makes me grateful. I commit the sound to memory.
The cold of winter and dark of night magnifies fears.
I remember a time that each morning I woke up that I said a prayer of thanks for the new day . I’m grateful for that time because I woke up rested and could see incredibly tall pines upon first opening my eyes. It’s the joy I have not been able to call back, but I am most grateful I experienced it.
My daughter is ill and her son, 5, has severe neuro deficits. She lives in Europe. I’m in the US. She has a supportive husband.
I fear for her, too. I ask for prayer for them.
I am grateful, Diane, for your grandmother’s prayer. She would be so pleased , I believe, that another Irish woman has been touched. We need our and all grandmothers’ wisdom and compassion.
I am not following St. Theresa of Avila’s advise: “Let nothing disturb you”. This is where one realizes one cannot travel alone.
I’m grateful to be able to “speak” here.
God bless everyone.
I don’t have to ask questions if I listen long enough. Information comes as a person is allowed time to speak.
This question was shocking as I have not been on the site in months. It was like a slap.
I am awaiting cancer testing.
My husband is going through chemo and has labs soon.
I lost my dearest mentor in November. I had the privilege of being with her when she died.
2 days before she died, she was on vacation and had called me. I missed the call and something told me to save the recording. I did. I have her voice forever saying “How are ya? You know I love you and always have.”
So, with this question smacking my eyes, my answer is what I do as often as I do.: I tell people I love that I love them. I tell people I appreciate that I am grateful.
And now I need to get off this site for a bit and look at newly fallen snow, admire the white tipped pines, enjoy the wind moving the boughs together and listen to that soothing sound of trees swaying. More importantly, I need to tell my husband I love him even though I do everyday . There is no time to lose.
No arguments. Peace. And, sometimes there is more than one way to view being right.
A need of anything( in the realm of the mind) doesn’t always have to be fulfilled. Pausing can bring peace.
I practice this but not always successfully.
Sometimes being “right” causes more harm than it should. And that’s where I try to be silent.
Ability to walk
Ability to speak
Heat in the cold months
My friend of over 40 years
My children are healthy and independent
Love from my husband
You are courageous to be present to your father. I am sorry you are experiencing this decline as well as he most certainly is.
I hope your visit brings you some measure of peace.
Sitting under tall trees on a warm day and giving him company- you are a gift.
Thank you, ellen mary Elizabeth. I do believe.
MARY! I was happy to read your reply. Is it not terrible to be betrayed and have your integrity attacked, who you are to your soul by false accusations? Some of us have experienced what you are walking through , and it is , no doubt, the source of making you ill. How can it not?
I did not feel compared. And I felt a profound compassion for what you are going through because I have experienced it in my now over career. I can promise that those who have made false statements will be found out. There will be a major reflection on the parties involved. Little comfort for now.
Eventually dark behaviors are revealed. They just can’t stay hidden.
My experience years ago did impact some career plans in a negative way, but I made choices during the episode that I might not have otherwise. Changing my path was not easy, but I found a more rewarding position elsewhere and did things I never thought I was capable of.
I am taking your encouragement to self-care diligently. I have here and there, but must be consistent.
Family , with exception of an elder daughter, are not present. 2 friends are physically present. First I was dismayed, then bitter, then I didn’t care anymore. I found those who are present are the gifts we need and want.
I don’t have energy to try to make others feel better because my husband is sick and they don’t want to deal with it.. I was doing that initially, and paid a dear price. Still am. Climbing my way back. Love to you, too, Mary. Alicia
Anna, thank you. I am grateful to be greeted. I made a long post somewhere of events of recent past. I need your prayers please. I’m exhausted and cannot seem to recover fully . My husband continues in cancer treatment…with all its problems and successes. I am spent. I don’t know who I am anymore despite looking just fine on the outside.
I’m using prayer, meditation, yoga…and sleep is poor. My great enemy- fatigue. I’m just so glad to be greeted.
Emelyanne, my wish and hope for you is to have found respite from your troubles. The people here are kind and accepting . You are wished well. You can feel welcome here.
I am deeply saddened for your friend, T. My prayers go to her and her family.
I’m grateful my husband survived this far. I am grateful for new friends and compassion from places I never expected.
I’m glad to see Debbie D’s posts.
I’m grateful I shut off the heat from 3 sources during NE’s storm. When I looked out in the evening the exhaust pipes were clear, but intuition told me to shut off heat. We have several sources because of old home.
I woke up about 3A and checked the exhaust sites. All had been covered by harsh winds blowing snow . We have carbon monoxide alarms but I’d rather do what I did than rely on them.
I went out and cleared the pipes.
I am grateful for the sound of the wind in the tall pines and the reflection of the moon on the snow. There was one lone star near the moon both looking like jewels. I was alone and the solitude was like being able to breathe freely. No encumbrance. I didn’t care the snow was well over my boots and into them. Small price to pay for sound of wind and no vehicles going by.
Some of you know me. It’s been months again.
Cancer treatment and further testing for my husband is all consuming. It is rare my mind is peaceful.
We live and enjoy what we have. Sleep is a luxury.
If I find quiet, I cherish it and stay with it for as long as it will last. I keep the memory of it when demands on time, soul, and body come around again.
Nice to see familiar names here as well as new to me names.
MARY and others, thank you for your prayers and love. My husband was near death several weeks ago. During that time, I kept telling myself we were not forgotten and people were praying for us. He survived an opportunistic infection after chemo and developed a new allergy to one treatment. He survived that too. I know we’re not alone in this time. It’s what sees me through.
I received good news, Mary, but need close monitoring. Thank you, again, for your kind response.
Thank you, MARY. I will check in when I can. Your name is in caps because some of my dearest have your name. Thank you most sincerely for responding.
I really don’t know what time I have . And I am fully aware we don’t in the first place. So, I am grateful when I can be – like for clean sheets, warmth in winter, a 4 wheel drive ( despite loving gas, a gas line that doesn’t freeze. And a sweet phone call I got from my miracle baby who survived to marry and have 2 wonderful little boys.
It is amazing, isn’t it , how a kind word can drain fear. You have helped me immensely tonight. You have no idea.
Thank you for prayer. I believe your response is a prayer itself .
Re emotional state: you’ll be ok. These days will pass into others. And all of us who are struggling will feel better. Take heart.
Thank you. A peaceful heart and knowing others are not harmed by harsh judgment is important to me, also.
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