Want to learn: 1) To refresh my Spanish and French so that there is not such a verbal chasm between me and my neighbors.
2) learn new mantras to see myself through waiting for my husband’s biopsy results. His chemo continues ( for those who recognize me)
3) to trust again that all is unfolding as it should
4) to trust when I reach out someone will respond ( other than medical staff)
5) to relearn “Give thanks no matter what happens”
Bless you all, Community. I see courage or refreshing hope in all that I read.
My husband kissed me and told me I look lovely. My interior does not feel that way from sleeplessness, fear, and pain of seeing him suffer.
My joy: I’m humbly reminded we are fortunate to have one another. We have time at this very moment I thought we would not have at all when he was diagnosed with cancer last Spring. We will see another Spring together .
I don’t have to ask questions if I listen long enough. Information comes as a person is allowed time to speak.
This question was shocking as I have not been on the site in months. It was like a slap.
I am awaiting cancer testing.
My husband is going through chemo and has labs soon.
I lost my dearest mentor in November. I had the privilege of being with her when she died.
2 days before she died, she was on vacation and had called me. I missed the call and something told me to save the recording. I did. I have her voice forever saying “How are ya? You know I love you and always have.”
So, with this question smacking my eyes, my answer is what I do as often as I do.: I tell people I love that I love them. I tell people I appreciate that I am grateful.
And now I need to get off this site for a bit and look at newly fallen snow, admire the white tipped pines, enjoy the wind moving the boughs together and listen to that soothing sound of trees swaying. More importantly, I need to tell my husband I love him even though I do everyday . There is no time to lose.
No arguments. Peace. And, sometimes there is more than one way to view being right.
A need of anything( in the realm of the mind) doesn’t always have to be fulfilled. Pausing can bring peace.
I practice this but not always successfully.
Sometimes being “right” causes more harm than it should. And that’s where I try to be silent.
Ability to walk
Ability to speak
Heat in the cold months
My friend of over 40 years
My children are healthy and independent
Love from my husband
I talked to a niece who lost her brother to heroin a week ago. I mostly listened. Then I felt guided and mildly uncomfortable despite the guidance, because I do not know if she believes in God. I told her no father wants to see his child suffer. I told her I believe S. is safe and has gone Home to our Holy Father as our beliefs here in NE are held.
I think the main difference I made was to take the chance to call a grieving and in shock woman. One never knows how one will be received , but my discomfort and dismay is nothing to the loss of a sibling.
Her response: ” I never looked at it that way before”. Surprise in her voice. Relief? I don’t know. It will be a long time before the sting of the death of this young man goes away for any of us.
Compassion for the survivors. And an understanding that grief takes many forms with no time limits.
I need patience with myself. I am grieving the changes I see in my husband, the all time love of my life. No one looks at me the way he does.
I’ve always taught my daughters to be gracious and have dignity in hard situations. And now I must live what I spoke.
It is so hard. I must weigh my words and pause before I react.
I must find patience for the family and friends who disappeared in this cancer battle.
I must be patient and fight the bitterness that is trying to live in my heart.
You are courageous to be present to your father. I am sorry you are experiencing this decline as well as he most certainly is.
I hope your visit brings you some measure of peace.
Sitting under tall trees on a warm day and giving him company- you are a gift.
Anna, thank you. I am grateful to be greeted. I made a long post somewhere of events of recent past. I need your prayers please. I’m exhausted and cannot seem to recover fully . My husband continues in cancer treatment…with all its problems and successes. I am spent. I don’t know who I am anymore despite looking just fine on the outside.
I’m using prayer, meditation, yoga…and sleep is poor. My great enemy- fatigue. I’m just so glad to be greeted.
I received good news, Mary, but need close monitoring. Thank you, again, for your kind response.
Thank you, MARY. I will check in when I can. Your name is in caps because some of my dearest have your name. Thank you most sincerely for responding.
I really don’t know what time I have . And I am fully aware we don’t in the first place. So, I am grateful when I can be – like for clean sheets, warmth in winter, a 4 wheel drive ( despite loving gas, a gas line that doesn’t freeze. And a sweet phone call I got from my miracle baby who survived to marry and have 2 wonderful little boys.
It is amazing, isn’t it , how a kind word can drain fear. You have helped me immensely tonight. You have no idea.
Thank you for prayer. I believe your response is a prayer itself .
Re emotional state: you’ll be ok. These days will pass into others. And all of us who are struggling will feel better. Take heart.
Thank you. A peaceful heart and knowing others are not harmed by harsh judgment is important to me, also.
It is gift enough, Pilgrim when you said “noticing when others feel the same way”.
Greta, I ask you to pray for my beloved husband. He is suffering from cancer and its treatment.
I am suffering watching this all unfold.
I am independent and do not want to ask for help.
But I found out through many circumstances and events that it is a gift to others who want to help to allow them to do so.
I also would so appreciate if someone showed up at my door offering me something from a garden so carefully tended.
That is an act of love.
If someone says ” no” , they will still remember you offered even if they never tell you.
Wishing you well in your courage to go through treatment.
Wishing you safety and the continued keeping of your precious vision.
Debbie D., be kind to yourself. Your sensitivity is fully understood . Weaning off any med that has neuro involvement, is difficult but will be successful.
Keep hydrated. I think one of the most important things you said was “he means no harm”. You might use that as a mantra.
Yes, as one gets older ,meds impact us differently and can have harsh results.
I am sorry you are in pain. Pain itself, as you are already well aware of, impacts perception and internal environment.
I am speaking from my own life through most of what I post here to you.
I am grateful you have the courage to go through this process, which can seem interminable. I assure you that you can do it.
You don’t have to like the doctor, but one has to have faith in the knowledge of the doctor. It sounds like you do.
Andrea, my deepest sympathies . 6 months is but a moment. As Pilgrim says, there is no time table. Kindness extended towards yourself is needed. I am so sorry for the hole in your heart.
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